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||Agent vs. Steve War Comics|| ||by CE1 and Shopiom|| CE1: FIRE! ATTACK! ALL MEN, FIRE! YES! WE'VE TOOKEN OUT "SHOTGUN" SHOPIUM'S SOLDIERS! SHOPIOM: THAT'S SHOPIOM!!! NOT SHOPIUM!!! CE1: OKAY, SHOPIEM! SHOPIOM: OKAY, I'M GONNA GET OUTSIDE AND KILL YOU! (Gets outside of tower, seeing The Conductor pointing a gun at him. He sees Kupo and Nelson339 in their big tanks.) CE1: Sorry, it's our job. Surrender, or be deleted! SHOPIOM: How are you gonna delete me, smart guy? (Nelson339 and Kupo charge weapons, making load noises.) SHOPIOM: Oh, wow. Like you have the guts. (The Conductor gives him a swift punch in the nose.) SHOPIOM: That didn't even hurt. You're only ten. (Punches CE1, giving him a bloody nose.) CE1: Ow. Is that blood? (Kupo and Nelson339 fire at the tower, accidently missing.) KUPO: Uh-oh. (Tower falls apart, rocks start to fall.) CE1: Brace yourself! (The Jugglin' Jesters appear out of nowhere and start juggling the rocks.) JUGGLIN' JESTERS: Get out from under here! We can't juggle much longer! (Shopiom and CE1 get out, CE1 has a broken leg, though) SHOPIOM: Thanks, I'm sorry that I'm on Agen- (Kupo fires a net at Shopiom.) NELSON339: SteveBad is gonna like this! SHOPIOM: Oh man, how am I gonna get out of this net? WHY? WHY? WHY? {says it while pounding his hand on the net} WH-{The net rips open} Horray for long fingernails! {Scratches the rest of the net open} NELSON339: How the crap did you get out? SHOPIOM: Let's just say I nailed my way out! NELSON339: That's lame. SHOPIOM: It's the best I got. KUPO: Well, cease him! {handcuffs Shotgun Shopiom} SHOPIOM: Aw, crap! {Kupo and Nelson339 take Shotgun Shopiom to Stevebadia} STEVEBAD: I see you got yourself a prisoner of war. SHOPIOM: {Kicks the key out Stevebad's pocket and unlocks the handcuffs with his mouth} Haha! I got out! Now, Stevebad, I challenge you to == A GOLF TOURNAMENT! == {On the golf course aka Stevebadia} SHOPIOM: I get the second rate golf ball! STEVEBAD: No, you don't! It's my frikin' ball! SHOPIOM: {Points shotgun at Stevebad's forehead}{Saying through gritted teeth} Give...me...the...stupid...ball. STEVEBAD: {nervous} OK. {Hands Shotgun Shopiom the second rate golf ball} SHOPIOM: {puts the ball down on the tee and hits it with the golf club} {the ball sails 6 inches across the course and...} SHOPIOM: {breathes heavily} {the ball lands in the hole} YESSS! STEVEBAD: Beginner's luck! {Shotgun Shopiom takes out his shotgun and loads it} OK, that was good! You did good! SHOPIOM: {happily} Thank you. Now, take your shot. STEVEBAD: {hits the ball off the tee and it lands 3 holes away} SHOPIOM: Oh, crap! {Transition to the 12th hole} SHOPIOM: Well, {gulp} here we are at the last hole. Hole number twelve. STEVEBAD: I'm winning! 3 strokes behind you! SHOPIOM: {mad} Don't rub it in. STEVEBAD: Whatever! {hits his ball and it lands a half inch from the hole after 2 strokes} This is it. If you get it in the hole, you win. SHOPIOM: {hits the ball and it lands 1 inch away from Stevebad's ball} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STEVEBAD: Oh yeah! I win! Oh yeah! {suddenly a hooded guy appears and kicks Shotgun Shopiom's ball into the hole} SHOPIOM: Thanks! {the hooded guy comes up to Shotgun Shopiom and lifts up his hood. It's-} SHOPIOM: Strongrad? STRONGRAD: Don't say anything or tell anyone. {puts his hood back on and runs away} SHOPIOM: Oh yeah! I win! Oh yeah! STEVEBAD: But the-and the-with the-CRAAAAAAAAAP! SHOPIOM: Me and the Homestarmy are celebrating by playing Three-To-One Marny all night!!! The end ||NEXT EPISODE|| ??: Okay, this is it. They're playing Three-To-One Marny. (Fires a tranquilizer at AgentNine, ShopIom, and FireBird) THUD! THUD! What's on my back? THUD! (?? take off hood and reveals it's The Conductor.) BAM! CE1: Agh... I'm hurt! Someone shot me. Gotta reach phone. (Dials 991.) CE1: Dang it. Wrong number. (Dials 911.) CE1: There. I hope they come in time. IT'S A WHODUNNIT? (In other words, it's who shot CE1.) Suspects: AgentOne, AgentTwo, AgentThree, AgentFour, AgentFive, AgentSix, AgentSeven, AgentEight, AgentNine, AgentTen, Agentseethroo, StrongRad, SteveBad, KuPo, Nelson339, Jugglin' Jesters, ShoPiom, and (or) Clever Dan. SHOPIOM, FIREBIRD, and AGENTNINE: {they wake up} SHOPIOM: Whoa, guys, I had a terrible dream! We were playing (Three-To-One-Marny)? and I was losing! FIREBIRD: That wasn't a dream. It happened. SHOPIOM: = NOOOOOOOOO! = AGENTNINE: Come on! I bet it's not that big a deal! AGENTSEETHROO: {comes} Haha, Shopiom lost! He lost Three-To- SHOPIOM: Shut up! AGENTSEETHROO: {takes off one of Shotgun Shopiom's badges} That's what you get for rude talk, maggot! SHOPIOM: Well, I won the golf tournament! AGENTSEETHROO: That was SO last issue! Nobody cares about that anymore! AGENTNINE: Hey, Seethroo, lay off the guy! AGENTSEETHROO: Hmmmm. I WAS gonna let you operate the missile control, but I guess that's not gonna be happening now, is it? FIREBIRD: *cough* toughguy *cough* AGENTSEETHROO: In the Homestarmy rules, it states that no one shall talk while coughing, sneezing, hurling, or passing gas. {leans close to FireBird} Do you understand? FIREBIRD: {salutes} YES SIR! I WILL STOP DOING THAT AT ALL COSTS, SIR! AGENTSEETHROO: Good boy. Shopiom, I have thought about that golf tournament in the last 3 minutes and have decided to let you have a tank of your very ow- {alarm goes off} Let's go! {The Homestarmy goes out and finds The Red Assassins ready for an invasion} FIREBIRD: {sarcastically} Ooh, look! It's the new army! They don't have any experience and are gonna tear us limb from limb! Ooh, I'm so scared! KINGOFHOMSARIA: {throws a hand grenade at FireBird} FIREBIRD: Ow. Can somebody get me to the hospital? Please? {The Homestarmy Ambulance comes and takes FireBird away} KINGOFHOMSARIA: Anyone else wanna question the authority of the Red Assassins? ~AGENTNINE: Nope. AGENTSEETHROO: Mmm-mmm. SHOPIOM: I'm good. {simaltaneously}~ CE1: Now prepare for defeat! SHOPIOM: Um, I think I hear my mom calling me...IN MY HOUSE! AGENTSEETHROO: No way, Om! If we have to fight, so do you! KUPO: {fires his gun at Specialist Seethroo} SHOPIOM: {pushes Specialist Seethroo out of the way in slow motion} AGENTSEETHROO: Shopiom! That saving my life was way too slow! SHOPIOM: But, it was a Matrix-like style! That wasn't cool? AGENTSEETHROO: No. Being "cool" is you saving me quickly! AGENTNINE: Hey, guys, can you help me? I'm kinda fighting independently, which is not good! AGENTSEETHROO: Oh, crap! The rebels of Slave County, USA are about to kill Nine! Don't start another conversation with me! SHOPIOM: But-but-you-oh, nevermind! {The Red Assassins crowd around the Homestarmy and throw bombs at them} AGENTNINE: *gasp* We're surrounded! SHOPIOM: There's no way out! AGENTSEETHROO: We're doomed! {A mysterious woman runs in, disarms the bombs, and ties up the Red Assassins in about 11 seconds} SHOPIOM: Who the crap is she? AGENTSEETHROO: Honey! AGENTNINE: Honey? AGENTSEETHROO: Oh, this is my wife! Agent Opaque! SHOPIOM: {his jaw drops} You guys are-MARRIED?! AGENTOPAQUE: Yes. Agent Seethroo is so awesome! AGENTNINE: Thanks for saving us! AGENTOPAQUE: Well, I couldn't let little Seethy die! SHOPIOM: Seethy? {Shotgun Shopiom and AgentNine burst into laughter} {Specialist Seethroo and AgentOpaque shrug} THE END |