Strange Happinings
Strong Dad had had enough. After seeing men in cloaks screaming something about the death of Stinkman, people like him get angry. He and his wife Strong Glad hated people who acted strangly. They didnt want to expose this sort of thing to their son, Strong Sad. But what they didnt see is what happened when the lights went out.
If anyone had looked out the window that night, they would have seen a green man turning out the street lights like magic. He turned to see a cat and said, "Glad to see you, Prof. Bubs". The "cat" slowly changed into the form of a blue, eerie man. "You think it wise, giving him to some Muggle?" he said. "Its the only family he's got, yo," the green man replied. "Strong Mad is bringing him to us soon." Suddenly, a large neckless man appeared on a flying Harley and landed near the two. "HELLO HEADMASTER Z." he said, "THIS BABY SLEEPS TOO MUCH." Z then took the baby with the lightning scar and set him on the front door of Strong Dad's house with a letter and said "Its not really goodbye."

Strong Sad pounded on Homestar's bed and screamed "Come on, its my birthday, get up!!"
"Alright Mr. Stwong Sad," replied the agitated and annoyed Homstar Potter. Suddenly, a huge voice boomed "Homestar, come on, cook breakfast, were going to the zoo!". "Strong Dad loves his son", thought Homestar, "almost too much." Before entering the c*ar, the dad told Homstar "No funny buisness at all, or else." The zoo was amazing, so many animals, but Strong Sad, just having caffiene, was hyped up. "Come on, snake, lets go snake, move, move, come on lets go." He banged on the glass to add emphysis. "Come on, hes a saleepin." Homestar tried to explain. "Hes borin. Oh look, flomingo, flomingo." and Strong Sad left to annoy again. "Sorry, he is annoyin. So youre bred in Bormor arent you. Was it cuhool?" The snake pointed to a sign that read, "Bred in captivity." "You can hear me? Sweet!" All of a sudden, he was pushed onto the floor by Strong Sad "Check it out Mom!" Homstar gave him a glare of hate. All of a sudden, Strong Sad fell through the glass. The freed snake slithed out of of the open cage and said "Thanksssss" "Thanks be praised" replied Homstar. Strong Sad started to scream. When the parents saw, they screamed, too. Upon ariving home, Homstar was thrown into his cubbord and forrbiden food for a week.

"Homstar, get the bloody mail," came Strong Glad's voice one morning, "and hurry up." Usually, noone would send him mail, but today, he recieved an interesting letter with an H and 4 animals on it. When Strong Sad saw this, he immediatly stole it and gave it to his father. He and his wife had a grave look on their faces, and they destroyed the letters. More came, until Strong Dad was so angry he took them to a desserted island where he thought noone could find him. It was his thirteenth birthday. Once the clock struck 12, there was a large bang at the door. Down it came, and a man with no neck and huge muscles entered. "HELLO HOMSTAR, HAPPY BIRTHDAY," he said. Strong Dad came in with a gun. The large man bent the gun and a loud shot went through the roof. "WELL HOMESTAR, ITS TIME TO GO TO HOGWARTS". What are you talking about? You smell like pea soup!" "WHERE DID YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS LEARNED TO BE MAGICAL" "He wont be going! We made that promise," retorted a slightly scared and slightly agitated Strong Dad."You nuu? And you dint say anything!" "Of coarse we new, your as eerie as your mother, my sister, the freak. When we brought you in we promised to put a stop to it." snared Strong Glad. "OH, AND A MUGGLE LIKE YOU IS GONNA STOP HIM, A NON-MAGIC PERSON? HE'LL BE TOUGHT BY THE GREATEST HEADMASTER EVER, COACH Z." "Hes a crackpot," screamed Strong Dad. "DONT EVER SAY THAT" Strong Mad took his umbrella pointed it a Strong Sad, and gave him a pigs tale. "Alwright, that matches with his eyes!" exclaied Homstar. "COME ON, LETS GET SUPPLIES."

Diagon Alley
Homstar read the list of supplies. "How can we find all this cwap in Londen." "WATCH THIS" He entered a pub where many wizards were amazed to see him. Homstar was curius. After all, what had he done? As he pondered this, Strong Mad took him to a place where there were magical stores. First, they went to get some cash. They entered a place called Gringots. They came up to a golin working there and gave him the key to the vault. Then, Strong Mad gave him a letter that said talk secret. When they entered Homestar's vault, it was filled with coins galore. When they came to another vault, Strong Mad took something from it and left. "What the cwap is that," asked Homestar. "CANT TELL YOU". When they left, they saw two kids looking through a window at a broom. "Its the nimbus two-thousand, the fastest model yet." "Thats cwazy," thought Homstar. Suddenly, he came across a shop that sold wands. "Go inside," said Strong Mad. "Alwight, keep your pants on," retorted Homestar. In the shop was the guy from the depot. "Pick a wand" So, Homestar went through many wands, each one ending in an explosion, finally, he found one. "Interesting," said the man,"that you were destoned to have the brother wand of the one that gave you that scar."

Homestar and Strong Mad were having a meal of tasty spices when Homstar said, who killed my parents, really, no lies twickster. "STINKOMAN," the big oaf looked like he'd said a curse, "WANTED YOUR PARENTS TO JOIN HIM. THEY SAID NO, SO HE KILLED YOUR FAMILY. YOUR PARENTS, 1936 MARZIPAN AND THE HOMESTARRUNNER, DIED PROTECTIN YOU. BUT SOMEHOW, HE COULDNT KILL YOU." Home suddenly saw a vision. An evil blue haired man comanding your parents to join him. They said "Go soak your fat head." Then, he killed his father. His mother begged him not to kill baby Homestar, but he destroyed her, too. Then, he turned to the slightly drooling baby and shouted "DOUBLE DUECE!" A sudden flash of light filled his vision. Then, all was quiet. "EVERYONE KNEW YOU CAUSE YOU GOT RID OF HIM, BUT I THINK HE's STILL ALIVE. AND BEING TOUCHED BY A CURSE LIKE THAT GIVES YOU THE LIGHTNING SHAPED SCAR. WE GOT A BIG DAY TOMMORROW, GET SOME REST.

The Train Station
Homestar arrived at the said platform "9 3/4". However, there was no such thing. He looked around until he saw a family of Poms heading towards the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Then the mother said, come on Blob Blob, lets go. The oldest male Pom ran right through the wall. Then, the mother said "Now you Lub Lub." One of the two similar looking Poms angrily said "he's not Lub Lub, i am." The other one added,"Honestly, women." The agitated mother answered, then go ahead Glub Glub." He went towards the wall and said, "actually, i really am Lub Lub." The two ran through the wall. Homestar then asked "how do you get on two this platforwm?" "Just run through the wall, you can go with Pom Pom, he's new to Hogwarts as well." The two looked at each other and ran through. When they emerged they saw a huge train and tons of people. The two quikly boarded and sat together in an empty cart.

The Ride
Homestar was watching Pom Pom talk on the phone with his girlfriend when an old lady with a cart of goodies came to their section."Want some," she asked. "Im talkin with my girlfriend." Homestar suspected that really Pom Pom was poor. "Gimme it all sista," he pulled out a handful of money and recieved more candy then he could eat. He and Pom Pom became great friends and enjoyed mystical candy. Then, a girl with yellow hair and a stick-like body entered. "Have you seen a toad? Some annoying kid named Homsar has lost one" "No," replied Pom Pom. The girl eyed the candy. "Thats bad for you," she started to walk away,"stupid sweets, they ruin your teeth." "That was wiewrd" commented the candy stuffed Homestar.

The Sorting
The train unloaded and a tall man that Homestar recognized as Strong Mad called to the first years. "GIVE ME SOME SKIN" said the giant. "That might hurt" "GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE." "I dont have arms stuwpid." "JUST FOLLOW ME." He took them on boats and they crossed the large lake to a huge castle with many towers. Once they were inside, they were greeted by a blue man. "Put all your crazy crap down. Your gonna be sorted into houses. Either Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw. Now stay here for a second."
Once he was gone, a yellow creature walked to the front and looked at Pom Pom. "A cellphone, and big stripe? You must be a Pom." Pom Pom shot him a dirty look. The little animal smiled with a golden tooth when he saw Homestar. "So, the famous Homstar is at Hogwarts," everyone started whispering."You'll learn some people's families are better than others. I can help you." He stuck out a short arm to shake hands."The Cheat." "No phancks." Suddenly, the teacher returned. Follow me everybody. Before he turned, a frog started to sound. "Trevor, its time to herrrrrrrrrd the cattle." Up came a wierd looking man with the name Homsar on his shirt. They entered a room with four long tables and with many children each. They were sorted by a talking hat that could read minds. First was The Cheat, who was put into Slytherin. Pom Pom whispered,"all bad wiches and wizards are from Slytherin." Pom was put into Gryffindor with his brothers. So were Homsar and Marzipan. When it was Homestar's turn, he refused to be put in Slytherin, so he was placed in Gryffindor. Cheers erupted from Gryffindor when they learned they recieved Potter. As they began to begin their meals, Homestar asked Pom Pom "who are those to funny looking guys over there?" "That's the Dijery Doo. He's the Defence Against The Evil People's teacher.

Well so far it's hilarious! I can't wait till the part where Strong Bad/Snape comes in.
How did the Poms learn to talk?

Umm... Not too hilarious. Who posted the above comment? Anyway, Homestar does not pronounce the "T-H" sound "Ph", and he doesn't pronounce the "O" sound "Wo". --Lord Karkon

I posted the above comment and I'm PROUD of it!!! -PrincessofStrongBadia

Obviosly, you pay too much attention to stuff. Do you even have a frieken life? Strongrad

Who're you criticizing, kid? you can't even spell freaking or obviously correctly. If you have nothing constructive to say, please feel free NOT to use your grubby fingers to type a bunch of incoherent rambling.

Amen! - FireBird

I like it but I hate it when people overuse quotes until they are not funny and make Strong Mad say long sentences. It ruins his personality. Another Fan

I agree, Fother Man, uh.... A Font? Oh, nevermind. Anyway, I think you're right about the Strong Mad part. Oh, and where's the famous, "You're a Wizard, Homestar!"? BestFootFlower