STRONG BAD:
{singing} Check your email and check your email.
{still singing, but there is an echo} Check check your your email and and check check your your email email
{stops singing}
{Strong Bad presses Enter}
STRONG BAD: {reading email below}
- Dear Strong Bad
- I just wondering, if you had a chance
- to make your town different, what
- would you do?
- Sincerley
- Steven WV
{Strong Bad says Wolksvagen instead of WV}
STRONG BAD: Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh, Steven? That sounds like a pretty good-
{stops typing} wait... what'd your email say again?
{Strong Bad presses a key, and the email appears again}
STRONG BAD:
{mumbling reading sounds} Oh. Oh-ho! Sorry.
{Strong Bad presses a key, and starts the reply again}
STRONG BAD: Make the town different, eh, Steven?
{breaks into song} Weeeeeeelllllll.....
{cut to The Poopsmith shoveling poop}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} The Poopsmith, he could talk
THE POOPSMITH:
{singing} Hello!
{screen slides to reveal the right, where Marzipan is dressed in heavy metal garb, holding a guitar decorated with a skeleton pattern, in front of a wall of amplifiers marked 'Marzipan'}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And Marzipan would rock,
{Marzipan wails on her guitar}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And
The Stick would be this big old tree that'd try to eat everyone except
The Cheat and me --
{a polaroid picture of the tree with Strong Bad (still singing) and The Cheat hanging out with it. Strong Mad appears from behind the left border of the photo and says...}
STRONG MAD: AND ME!
STRONG BAD:
{singing} We'll see..
{Strong Mad looks shocked} And
The King of Town would be underground in a box filled up with peas...
{pan down to reveal a large crate label 'A MILLION PEAS' buried under ground. A cut-out from the crate is taken away to reveal the KoT inside surrounded with peas}
THE KING OF TOWN: I hate peas!
{Strong Bad appears in the lower right and says...}
STRONG BAD: I know!
{cut to Bub's Concession Stand surrounded by flamethrowers and a sign that says 'Please. Take SEVERAL'.}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} Bubs would give away flame throwers that shoot chocolate hundred dollar bills...
BUBS: Imitation chocolate!
{pan right to reveal Strong Sad}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And my stupid baby brother would have been born with horns and a tail...
STRONG SAD:
{sadly} I'm Evil.
{pan right to reveal the sports field with Coach Z standing there wearing an orange jacket}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And
Coach Z would wear this cool jacket
{Coach Z turns to reveal the back of his jacket which says 'Totally Style' and has a picture of a big thumbs up}
COACH Z: Check it out, yo!
{pan right to reveal more of the sports field with Homestar Runner standing there}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And Homestar just couldn't hack it!
{Homestar Runner rips the star off the front of his shirt and throws it to the ground, angrily.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I Quit!
{what looks like a collectors card floats into the left of the screen with a picture of PomPom making a basket}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} And
PomPom wouldn't change at all 'cept he'd look like an ABA basketball...
{total blackout, fade in close up of Strong Bad's mouth. Zoom out to reveal Strong Bad wearing a blue jacket not unlike The Fonz from Happy Days}
STRONG BAD: two three four
{singing} and this little weirdo
{a spotlight turns on to reveal Homsar}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} would be a modestly hot girl
{HOMSAR silhouettes and transmogrifies into a silhouette of Modestly Hot Homsar}
STRONG BAD:
{singing} To help me through the hard times... you know the kind that are only sorta hot so that they don't mess around with other guys!
{Modestly Hot Homsar un-silhouettes and is wearing a blue one-piece bikini with the word 'homsar' on it. She is wearing Homsar's yellow bowler hat and has brown hair and pink lipstick.}
MODESTLY HOT HOMSAR: DaAaAa, I'm forever your girl!
{Crowd cheers}
{Cut to the Computer Room where Strong Bad is standing on his stool}
STRONG BAD: Thank You! Thank You! Alright! This next one is the fourteenth song on my forty-second album. It's called--
{Cut to Strong Sad standing to the right of the computer desk dressed in a light blue tunic wearing horns and a tail}
STRONG SAD: Hey Strong Bad--
STRONG BAD:
{off screen} WHOA! Can it be true?
{Cut to group shot with Strong Bad and Strong Sad standing to the right of the computer. Strong Bad is still standing on his stool.}
STRONG BAD: Did
Homestar Runner call it quits?
The King of Town, pea-buried alive?!
The Poopsmith speaketh?
STRONG SAD: Noo... Calm down, spazz. I'm going to the Clash of the Titans Con, dressed up as Calibos, remember? I was just gonna ask if you still wanted that bust of Bubo?
STRONG BAD: Oh, um. Right. Of course.
{coughs} {speaking quietly} yeah I still want that bust of Bubo.
STRONG SAD: Ok, bye weirdo. What are you standing on that stool for anyway?
STRONG BAD: For your information, I was checking on the lights,
Strong Sad. We got that recessed lighting, y'know. Yup, everything looks great.
{cut back to the computer where Strong Bad continues his reply}
STRONG BAD: Yeah, things would be different alright. Though I'm a little disappointed in what I came up with for
Homsar. Modestly hot my eye! I think my imagination's broke.
{stops typing} Lemme try and think up the
{types again} Best Thing Ever. Umm... Beef... stew... Yup it's busted alright. I'm gonna go... place.
{gets up from stool}
{The Paper comes down}