STRONG BAD: {singing} Check your email and check your email. {still singing, but there is an echo} Check check your your email and and check check your your email email {stops singing}

{Strong Bad presses Enter}

STRONG BAD: {reading email below}

Dear Strong Bad
I just wondering, if you had a chance
to make your town different, what
would you do?
Steven WV

{Strong Bad says Wolksvagen instead of WV}

STRONG BAD: Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh, Steven? That sounds like a pretty good- {stops typing} wait... what'd your email say again?

{Strong Bad presses a key, and the email appears again}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling reading sounds} Oh. Oh-ho! Sorry.

{Strong Bad presses a key, and starts the reply again}

STRONG BAD: Make the town different, eh, Steven? {breaks into song} Weeeeeeelllllll.....

{cut to The Poopsmith shoveling poop}

STRONG BAD: {singing} The Poopsmith, he could talk

THE POOPSMITH: {singing} Hello!

{screen slides to reveal the right, where Marzipan is dressed in heavy metal garb, holding a guitar decorated with a skeleton pattern, in front of a wall of amplifiers marked 'Marzipan'}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And Marzipan would rock,

{Marzipan wails on her guitar}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And The Stick would be this big old tree that'd try to eat everyone except The Cheat and me --

{a polaroid picture of the tree with Strong Bad (still singing) and The Cheat hanging out with it. Strong Mad appears from behind the left border of the photo and says...}


STRONG BAD: {singing} We'll see.. {Strong Mad looks shocked} And The King of Town would be underground in a box filled up with peas...

{pan down to reveal a large crate label 'A MILLION PEAS' buried under ground. A cut-out from the crate is taken away to reveal the KoT inside surrounded with peas}

THE KING OF TOWN: I hate peas!

{Strong Bad appears in the lower right and says...}


{cut to Bub's Concession Stand surrounded by flamethrowers and a sign that says 'Please. Take SEVERAL'.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Bubs would give away flame throwers that shoot chocolate hundred dollar bills...

BUBS: Imitation chocolate!

{pan right to reveal Strong Sad}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And my stupid baby brother would have been born with horns and a tail...

STRONG SAD: {sadly} I'm Evil.

{pan right to reveal the sports field with Coach Z standing there wearing an orange jacket}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And Coach Z would wear this cool jacket

{Coach Z turns to reveal the back of his jacket which says 'Totally Style' and has a picture of a big thumbs up}

COACH Z: Check it out, yo!

{pan right to reveal more of the sports field with Homestar Runner standing there}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And Homestar just couldn't hack it!

{Homestar Runner rips the star off the front of his shirt and throws it to the ground, angrily.}


{what looks like a collectors card floats into the left of the screen with a picture of PomPom making a basket}

STRONG BAD: {singing} And PomPom wouldn't change at all 'cept he'd look like an ABA basketball...

{total blackout, fade in close up of Strong Bad's mouth. Zoom out to reveal Strong Bad wearing a blue jacket not unlike The Fonz from Happy Days}

STRONG BAD: two three four {singing} and this little weirdo

{a spotlight turns on to reveal Homsar}

STRONG BAD: {singing} would be a modestly hot girl

{HOMSAR silhouettes and transmogrifies into a silhouette of Modestly Hot Homsar}

STRONG BAD: {singing} To help me through the hard times... you know the kind that are only sorta hot so that they don't mess around with other guys!

{Modestly Hot Homsar un-silhouettes and is wearing a blue one-piece bikini with the word 'homsar' on it. She is wearing Homsar's yellow bowler hat and has brown hair and pink lipstick.}

MODESTLY HOT HOMSAR: DaAaAa, I'm forever your girl!

{Crowd cheers}

{Cut to the Computer Room where Strong Bad is standing on his stool}

STRONG BAD: Thank You! Thank You! Alright! This next one is the fourteenth song on my forty-second album. It's called--

{Cut to Strong Sad standing to the right of the computer desk dressed in a light blue tunic wearing horns and a tail}

STRONG SAD: Hey Strong Bad--

STRONG BAD: {off screen} WHOA! Can it be true?

{Cut to group shot with Strong Bad and Strong Sad standing to the right of the computer. Strong Bad is still standing on his stool.}

STRONG BAD: Did Homestar Runner call it quits? The King of Town, pea-buried alive?! The Poopsmith speaketh?

STRONG SAD: Noo... Calm down, spazz. I'm going to the Clash of the Titans Con, dressed up as Calibos, remember? I was just gonna ask if you still wanted that bust of Bubo?

STRONG BAD: Oh, um. Right. Of course. {coughs} {speaking quietly} yeah I still want that bust of Bubo.

STRONG SAD: Ok, bye weirdo. What are you standing on that stool for anyway?

STRONG BAD: For your information, I was checking on the lights, Strong Sad. We got that recessed lighting, y'know. Yup, everything looks great.

{cut back to the computer where Strong Bad continues his reply}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, things would be different alright. Though I'm a little disappointed in what I came up with for Homsar. Modestly hot my eye! I think my imagination's broke. {stops typing} Lemme try and think up the {types again} Best Thing Ever. Umm... Beef... stew... Yup it's busted alright. I'm gonna go... place. {gets up from stool}

{The Paper comes down}