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Homestar Runner and the Magic Marshmallow *This story takes place somewhere after the car e-mail. Chapter 1: Homestar Gets A Magic Marshmallow One day in April 2004...Homestar Runner was playing Battleship with Homsar. You can imagine how that would go. "BOOM! I use fire. You lose tooty-two HP!" said Homestar. "Aw, darn! I win again..." said Homsar. Marzipan, watching the game, was sickened. "That's not how you play." Suddenly the phone rang. "I'll get it." Marzipan got the phone. "Hello." At the end of the line was a mysterious person... "Hello. I'm coming to meet my twin brother, Homestar tomorrow." Marzipan was confused. After a moment of silence, she spoke. "Who the crap is this?" The phone hung up. "Homestar, do you have a brother?" Homestar was too busy eating Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. "I thought you were," he replied. Little did they know, The Cheat was spying on them. He rushed to Strongbadia, where Strong Bad and Strong Mad were waiting. "Well, The Cheat?" The Cheat squeaked. "Oh, Homestar's brother is coming to Free Country? Well, this will be a visit that will leave that guy waiting to leave..." Everyone laughed. However...Strong Sad was spying on them. "Oh, no. I must warn Homestar," he quietly said. He tiptoed until he was out of sight. Then Strong Bad spoke again. "Yeah, The Cheat. The King of Town will have to leave after we toss his butter-da into the ocean." The next morning, Homestar looked in the fridge for a cold one. "Why are you in my freakin' house?" asked Strong Bad. Homestar turned toward him. "Oh! I thought this was the toilet." Strong Bad walked away and ignored. Strong Sad came in after Strong Bad left. "Homestar?" he said. Homestar tossed some milk out of the fridge. Strong Sad spoke again. "Homestar?" Homestar tossed a peanut. "Oh! Gron Sad. What are you doing (pronounces it like "boing") here?" Strong Sad sighed. "Why do you call me Gron Sad?" "Should I call you Osama?" "Gron Sad will work." Soon, the mystery person rides the bus, next to Stinkoman. "What are you doing here?" Stinkoman asked. "I came to visit my twin brother, Homestar." "Oh. That guy is stinky. I'm here to study how dumb people in 2004 are. I come from the year 20X6. Y'know. With the "X" meaning..." Let's go back to Gron Sad and Homestar. "Ooh, my buh-wother is coming!" Homestar chanted while dancing around. Gron Sad was getting angry. "Strong Bad is going to do awful things to make your brother leave town!" Homestar ignored him. Gron Sad just walked out. Moving very slowly. Meanwhile, Strong Bad and The Cheat were in King of Town's castle. "This'll be great!" Strong Bad spoke too loud, for The Poopsmith walked in. "Holy crap! Run, The Cheat! He's an anti-The Cheatist!" The Cheat scrambled. Strong Bad laughed. He then pulled a zipper to reveal that he was actually...The King! "Doo hoo hoo! That'll teach The Cheat to mess with our pencil shavings!" The mystery guy is off the bus...and in Homestar's house. "Hello, brother," he said. Homestar introduced Marzipan to the guy. "Marzipan, this is Homeschool Winner. Homeschool Winner, this is my girlfriend, Something." Marzipan was aggravated. "My name is-" Homeschool then asked Homestar to show him around. First they visited Bubs' Concession Stand, where Bubs was counting his pencil shavings. "Hey, Homestar! Who's the guy with the overbite?" Homeschool cleared his throat. "I am Homeschool Winner, Homestar Runner's twin brother." Bubs fainted. "Nice guy," Homeschool replied. At night, Homeschool showed Homestar his wallet. "In this wallet is a souvenier from Slave Country, USA. I will give it to you if you promise not to sell it, give it away or trade it." Homestar nodded and Homeschool pulled out a big, golden marshmallow. Homestar asked if it was edible. "No, brother. You give it a lick and you get three wishes." So Homestar licked it. "I wish for a The Cheat egg!" Suddenly, a The Cheat egg appeared and out came, a The Cheat! "I'll call him 'The Freak.'" Homeschool warned that Homestar only has three wishes left...then he left. Marzipan and Strong Sad wanted to help Homestar with a wish. "How about world peace?" asked Strong Sad. Homestar yawned. "Nah. Boring. How about reviving Mr. Fendetto?" Marzipan sighed, trying to think. The Freak went out the door and decided to go find The Cheat. The Cheat was with Strong Bad and The Tire and The Bundt Cake Pan in Strongbadia. The Freak walked up and barked. "Holy crap! It's a pink The Cheat!" said Strong Bad. ---- Chapter 2: The King Gets 3 Wishes Strong Bad held a meeting with The Cheat, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Coach Z and Bubs. "We've got to do something. Nobody makes a clone of my little yellow buddy!" yelled Strong Bad. Strong Sad hadn't yet told Strong Bad HOW Homestar got The Freak. "Um...Strong Bad..." Strong Sad spoke up. "Why not steal Homestar's magic-" he stopped himself. Strong Bad jumped off the table he'd been standing on. "Magic what? Homestar? With magic?" Strongbad then told everyone about the marshmallow. Outside the window, the King of Town and the Poopsmith listened. "Did you hear that?" the king asked, drinking butter-da. "Free food!" Homestar, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Pom Pom and Homsar were thinking of more wishes. Here were some suggestions: Homestar *More wishes *Infinite Fluffy Puff Marshmallows *Pants Strong Sad *No meat *No war *No deforestation Marzipan *Same as Strong Sad Pom Pom *A new girlfriend *A computer Homsar *Peaches *A gravy train *A jenga ship They decided to vote on more wishes, a computer and no war. *More wishes: 2 *Computer: 1 *No war: 2 They eliminated the computer. Now they voted again between the other two, but for some odd reason, "peaches" was written on 3 slips of paper. Well, Homestar wouldn't run out of fruits for a while. One wish left! What to wish for? At night, the king and Poopsmith stole the magic marshmallow! The king brought it to his castle. He sniffed it. "Smells like peas. I hate peas!" He gave a lick. "Tastes like peas, too. Gross! I wish it was somewhere else! Like...Strong Bad's house or something." Without even knowing about the magic, he used his first wish. Strong Bad decided to check his e-mail. "Everyone! Likes to...e-mail...ME!" He read his first e-mail. It read: "Dear Strong Bad, I really like that soap opera, Days of Our Lives. Do you ever watch soap operas? If so, which one? Your friend, Goo-goo undies" Strong Bad cleared his throat. "Okay, letter 1: my friends do not name themselves after clothing. Letter 2: Yeah. I do watch a soap opera. One that I started making for the Strongbadia-Net. Yeah, we got a TV station now, and we gots a soap. I call it The Awesome and the Really, Really Great. Or just AWWG. Let's check it out." Strong Bad turned on his TV. On TV was The Cheat, dressed up as a doctor. Strong Mad was wrapped in bandages and laying on a hospital bed, apperently wounded from a gunshot. Soon, we see Homestar's shadow in an alleyway, pursuing Strong Sad, wearing a mustache. Homestar picks up a brick. Then Strong Bad turns the TV off. "Too graphic for you's. No more." He goes back to the computer. "So, yeah, underwears guy, I got a soap opera. Speakin of soap, I gotta find Strong Sad and-" Suddenly the magic marshmallow popped up. "Holy crap! Can it be? The magic marshmallow in my possession? Why, I could rule the WORLD!" ---- Chapter 3: Strong Bad Begins His Takeover Strong Bad gathered The Cheat, Strong Mad, Coach Z and Bubs to witness "a new era's beginning". Strong Bad licked the marshmallow. "Tastes like butter-da." Strong Bad suddenly got a tingling sensation. "I wish I had super powers!" Suddenly, Strong Bad's blue headpiece glowed, then it grew bigger. Strong Bad's muscles bulged, he began levitating and everyone watched in terror as Strong Bad turned Bubs to stone. "This...will be awesome! First target: Homsar." Meanwhile, the King accidently blew his last wishes on butter-da and a new flock of sheep. After realizing he could make wishes, he tried more times and failed. "Holy crap, Poopsmith! I only got 3 wishes. Who ever heard of 3 wishes!?" Poopsmith shrugged. Marzipan convinced Homestar to save his last wish. When Strong Sad looked around, he finally realized that the marshmallow was gone. (Here's some hints to the soap opera parody challenge, since it seems nobody can get it.) Meanwhile, AWWG had another episode on Strongbadia-Net. Homestar's TV was on, and he watched the show. There was Coach Z dressed like a carrot-top woman. He was in his house talking to someone, who cannot be seen by the camera. Suddenly, the person picks up a cold one. Coach Z acted scared. "You're tryin' to jank me!" The person lifted the bottle high up. "I don't wanna die!" Homestar turned the TV off. "Gee, who could that cold one grabber be?" He asked. Marzipan was annoyed again. "It's you. Now can we get back to finding out who took the marshmallow?" Homestar's mouth dropped. "I was the gun-brick-bottle guy!? No! What's next, a big knife?" Meanwhile, Coach Z was wondering how to cure Bubs. Strongbad decided on his second wish. (Here comes two more references.) "I wish I had horns!" Horns grew from his head. The Cheat's eyes grew wide. He paniced, then ran away. Strongmad did, too. Strongsad just sighed. Again. "You look like that guy with black and red facepaint with the glowing double-bladed sword and black cloak. Only with less horns. About 7 less." Wonder what happened to Stinkoman? Well, here he comes. Stinkoman, Pan-Pan and 20X6 Homestar arrived in Free Country, USA. "I smell destruction..." said Stinkoman. "Yeah, me too," said 20X6 Homestar. "Shut your cakehole, Starhome." "Starhome" shut his cakehole, or mouth. The three saw the sky become dark. "Something is wrong!?" asked Starhome. "No. Flying cows are covering the sun. Of course something's wrong!" said Stinkoman. KoT and Poopsmith were prepared to fight for their country for once. KoT, shielded with a pot on his head and pillows on his stomach, nodded to Poopsmith. "Poopy" as I call him, was shielded with his shovel and a suit of armor made of you-know-what. He tossed a laser gun to KoT. They marched toward Strongbadia. Homestar, Marzipan and Pom-Pom decided to visit Strongbad. Then, Strongbad, surrounded by a glowing white aura was gaining energy. His boxing gloves were ripped by claws that grew through them. His mask now looked more evil. His eyes glowed red, and black fog covered Free Country, USA. Every character in this story gathered, except Homeschool. Coach Z managed to find a potion that cured Bubs, made of Kikko sauce and some butter-da. Homestar was clueless. "Who the fwiggin' cwap are you, no-shirt?" Strongbad cackled. "I am Strongevil, your worst nightmare." He suddenly grew a large, flexible, mechanical arm that grabbed Homsar and picked him up. "Well, Homsar. Time to be my slave!" Strongevil's eyes emitted an odd sound that hypnotized Homsar. "Now, become the new Strongbad and destroy Homestar Runner!" Homsar flew to the ground. His eyes were glowing an eerie red, and he grew 8 legs and a tail. He looked like a scorpion, quite frankly. Strongbad (Homsar) then grabbed Homestar and squeezed. "Somebody help me!" he called. Stinkoman then shouted, "TIME FOR A CHALLENGE!?" Stinkoman leaped into the air and did major double deuce action. Strongbad dropped Homestar and split in two. The two halves then grew, forming two Strongbads! Strongevil was now cackling as Stinkoman was been choked by a Strongbad. "Let me go!" he shouted. Pom-Pom and Coach Z pulled out knives and slashed away, but now there are 20 Strongbads! Strongevil laughed. "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" They all surrendered. Strongevil used his last wish to make Strongbadia own all of Free Country, USA. Everything was dark, and light never came. Everyone worked hard by mining, fishing, building, etc. except for The Cheat, Strongmad, Coach Z and Bubs. And Strongevil, of course. The Strongbads were also turned back into Homsar. Homsar, Homestar, KoT and Strongsad worked the hardest. ---- Chapter 4: Time For Major Action! Stinkoman, after working for 10 hours, would conspire with Pan-Pan and Starhome on how to break free of Strongevil's rule. Strongevil owned everyone for a month already. It was lookin' pretty awesome. I mean bad. Strongevil was having things his way now. He summoned Poopsmith to his castle. "Speak, Poopy!" Poopsmith did not speak. Strongevil zapped him with electrical energy. "SPEAK!" he yelled again. Finally, Poopsmith talked! "Hi." Strongevil laughed. "This is great, The Cheat. Now let's go make Marzipan do heavy metal and rock." Stinkoman met with Homestar one night. "Hey, you're the stinky guy, right?" asked Stinkoman. "Yup, that's my name. Don't wear it out." Stinkoman looked around to see if anyone was listening. "I have a plan. Dot, dot, dot," said Stinkoman. He whispered into Homestar's non-existant ear. Homestar smiled and did the butt dance. Now that Marzipan sung rock and heavy metal, Strongevil and The Cheat were going on their next journey. Strongevil used his wishes, but he gave the marshmallow another lick. It started to shrink. "Let's see...let's turn The Stick into a big ol' tree that'll eat everyone except The Cheat and me." Now it was time for the plan to start. Everyone was in groups. Group 1 was Homestar and Pom-Pom. Group 2 was Marzipan, Homsar and Strongsad. Group 3 was KoT and Poopsmith. Group 4 was Stinkoman, Starhome and Pan-Pan. Each group headed in a different direction. There were five castles now. The northern castle belonged to The Cheat. The southern castle belonged to Strongmad. The eastern castle belonged to Coach Z. The western castle belonged to Bubs. The center castle was Strongevil's. Group 1 went east to Coach Z's castle. On the way, they spotted The Stick. "Hello, The Stick." Homestar patted The Stick. It growled. "Ooh, someone has a temper." The Stick grew and became a huge tree, then ripped its roots out of the ground. "Uh-oh. This does not look good for Homestar Runner." The Stick unleashed his attack. Millions of little cherries shot out at Homestar and Pom-Pom. Then they hid behind a dumpster. The cherries dented the dumpster badly. "Oh. Poop." The Stick picked up the dumpster. Out of it fell two flamethrowers. Pom-Pom used it, but it only shot chocolate hundred-dollar bills. Then Homestar had an idea. "You hungry, Mr. Benedetto? I mean...Stick?" It nodded and Homestar shot the chocolate into its mouth. It was so full, it couldn't eat anyone else. He then became the normal The Stick again. Group 2 went west to Bubs' castle. Before reaching the castle, they saw a strange floating computer. "DaAaAaAa! That's the Bad Graphics Toast!" said Homsar. Strongsad sighed and corrected him. "Don't you mean 'ghost'?" Homsar jumped. "AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa! A toast is attackin' my jenga jam!" Marzipan pulled out Carol, ready for combat. The ghost shot out its Duck Pond Quacking Blast attack, which pummeled Marzipan with several ducks. Marzipan countered by hitting the ghost with Carol. However, Carol went right through him. "Holy crap!" yelled Marzipan, as she was KO'd by a children's bus. Strongsad then used his Really Really Boring Crap ability, which put the ghost to sleep with really crappy poetry. After many hours, the ghost was asleep. Meanwhile, Strongsad wondered what the Tandy was weak against. Homsar then burped up the Compy 386, which scared the Tandy away, deep into the Trash Can of Inevitable Crap. Group 3 went south to Strongmad's castle. King of Town pulled out a Silent But Deadly Rip action figure, which was built to self-destruct when in contact with butter-da. Then Poopsmith pulled out the butter-da. The two then saw the rise of...General Tao! Tao then lunged at Poopsmith with his tongue. Poopsmith's armor was shattered. He and King started to shoot Tao with the laser guns. Suddenly, a hoard of laser crabs joined in. Before anyone could say "shanamanamanamana..." all the laser crabs were crushed by a falling pie tin, dropped by some guy in a plane. Tao then pulled out a grenade. King nodded and Poopsmith sprayed Tao with the grenade. Tao then tossed the grenade...but it didn't explode. That grenade was actually a Silent But Deadly Rip action figure! Then King tossed his action figure. That didn't explode. "Wait...if our action figures and grenades were supposed to switch roles, but my action figure didn't become a grenade...uh-oh." Tao's grenade was about to explode. Poopsmith kicked the grenade back to Tao... Group 4 went north to The Cheat's castle. Suddenly, a shadow leapt out from the bushes. "Holy flyin' monkeys! It's Stickly Man!" yelled Stinkoman. Pan-Pan immediately pulled out a Pom-Pilot. He then sent a fax to the Isle of Pom. Starhome then decided to eat some pudding as Stinkoman powered up. He was then...a SUPER SAIYAN! Stinkoman literally flew towards Stickly Man. He then shot out his Kamehamustard wave. Stickly Man cut the blast with his shovel, then spun his shovel around. It spun so fast, it looked as if it was some kind of round shield. Stinkoman shot many ki balls at the shovel, but they deflected and knocked Starhome's pudding away. "Now I'm mad! Operation: Blow up the...shovel comenses!" He then huddled with Stinkoman while Pan-Pan played "Temple of Pan-Shai". Stinkoman and Starhome then did a little dance that combined them into one person. "I am neither Starhome nor Stinkoman, I'm Starman!" Starman began pulling shurikens out of his jacket. His new spiky, red hair blew in the wind as Starman had one shuriken between each finger. With a flick of the wrist, he tossed all of them. Stickly Man was so...well, Stickly, that the shurikens missed him. Then a police car full of Poms came by and hauled Stickly Man to jail. "Yeah, I guess that works too," said Starman. Soon, Starman defused back into two people again. ---- Chapter 5: The Castles of Doom Coach Z's castle was huge. "Wow. It's like a really big muffin," Homestar commented. Coach Z's voice boomed out of the castle. "Do you challenge me, you fools?" Pom-Pom shrugged. "Bring it on!" Coach Z appeared out of the black fog. He was muscular and mad with power! He looked at the bazooka attached to his back. "Yeah, it is a bit of a change, isn't it? Strong Bad powered me up with his amazing marshmallow. Taste Super Rocket Evil Rocket Rocket Fire!" The bazooka shot several missiles out that flew into the air. "They are heat-seekers. In exactly 5 minutes, you will both be blown to bits!" Pom-Pom had an angry look on his face. "Eat glue, Pom-Pom!" Glue shot from Coach Z's mouth that wrapped around Pom-Pom. "Now, Homestar, let's battle." Homestar jumped into the air. "Anew kick!" Homestar kicked the air, shooting some perfume at Coach Z. Coach Z then machine-gunned. Homestar jumped to dodge the bullets. "I think I has the solution again." Homestar whispered to Pom-Pom. Then, he stood in front of Pom-Pom. Coach Z then fired again. Homestar dodged each bullet, and they bounced off Pom-Pom to hit Coach Z. "Oh, no! I've been shanked!" Coach Z fell over. ---- Comments ---- References Here's my challenge: try to find references to other H*R toons, and other TV shows. Post anything you figure out here. Whoever gets one recieves 5 HaguruPoints. Super Saiyan is from dbz. The pecil shaving reference is from the lackey email, in witch the cheat thinks they are money. Fusing is from dbz. Ki balls are form dbz. Khamehamustard is a copy of of kamehameha from dbz. Homsar wishing for a jengaship is from when he once played battleship. -- All of the above by the brother of PikmanFan. I wrote it and he told me what to put. I did it cause he can't spell. Exactly! There is also a DBZ reference in the place where Group 3 battled. You must watch DBZ, right? That's an awesome anime. Well, according to my calculations, you get 30 HaguruPoints. -Hagurumon |