1. spam
2. marzipan
3. sell
4. incoherent

BUBS: Here I go, with my email!

Dear Bubs,
Will you please take me off your spam e-mail list? I know you bought my e-mail from Strong Bad and I really don't care what special deals you have for me. Just please stop.

Gemini
Aw, c'mon! We have a special sale tomorrow! 6% off for anyone with G in their name! But if you really want to unsuscribe, reply to my next email with your address, your phone number, any other email addresses, and any hot girls' phone numbers. So until next time, it's been Bubububububububububububs with your spam prevention tips. {Bubs gets up, cut to table with gangster looking men}
MAN 1: You have any new addresses?
BUBS: Yeah, sure. {goes to computer in back}
MAN 2: MonkeyB@spambomb.fake.

Hey Buhubs!
Why do you even twy with Mawzipan? She's alweady got a boyfwiend and I don't think that she likes it when you twy to hang out with hew.
-This email is not from Homestar.

Bubs: Of course it isn't from Homestar! He doesn't type his accent! Anyway, me and Marzipan aren't tryin' to get together! We're just, uh, communicating. Yeah.
{Marzipan enters}
Marzipan: Bubs, why don't you sell sunscreen at you store?
Bubs: Because you look nice with a tan?
Marzipan (gasps): Are you trying to F-L-I-R-T?
Bubs: Um... er... someone's at the consession stand, bye!
{Homestar enters}
Homestar: You're dumping me!
Marzipan: No, I...
Homestar (running away): MARZIPAN DUMPED MEEEEEEEEE!
{Coach Z enters}
Coach Z: Does that mean you're free?
{Email moves into fast forward with all the strongs, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, and Homsar talking to Marzipan}
Marzipan: I'm leaving.
Bubs: I'm gonna sell today's email!

Dear Bubs.

Why was homestar stupid enough to get Strong Bad the Deepimpact dvd.

-Period.

Bubs: Who'd buy this piece 'o crap? Oh well, guess I have to use some of my "sales tr-". Wait a minute!
{You hear a click and the screen goes dark.}
Bubs (muttered): shoe polish... wax... a lil' bit of cloaking... and decorate...
{You hear another click and the light come back on.}
Bubs: Check it out. The "Awesome Email 4000".
{A comercial comes on.}
Announcer: Tired of having boring emails? Fear no more! The "Awesome Email 4000" is here! And here's a testomonial from that guy down the street.
Coach Z: The Eesome Awemail 400 is...
{Furious whispers are heard}
Coach Z: The Oorsome Emorl - {A sigh is heard} - has really questioned my views about mouthwash.
Announcer: Buy now and recieve the Interesting Email pack for absolutly DOUBLE CHARGE!
{Cut to Bubs' Consession Stand}
Bubs: My latest offer is a black box with "Awesome Email 4000" written on it.
{Senor Cardgage comes over.}
Senor Cardgage: That blackingly box looks magnoravent.
{The Paper falls.}

hey bubs

i need you're expert opinoin. my friend sez taht the Fonda Civil is the best racing for under 30kay but i think its teh Acurate Integral what do u think?

ps i am going for horsepower and i want to put as much nos into it as i want

AznRocketMasta?

Bubs: I can't understand you! Deleted!

Bubs,
I think the other person meant this:
I need your expert opinion. My friend says that the Honda Civic is the best for racing under 30 MPH, okay, but I think it’s the Acura Integra. What do you think?

P.S. I am going for horsepower, and I want to put as much nose into it as I want.

I think that's basically what they meant. It was hard to "decode"
-Ahnoneemiss (as the other person would've spelled it)