Dangeresque 4: The Criminal Chase

by FireBird

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{Updates may be slow as I am working still on The Two Evil Tall Things}

{Nothing is visible but blackness}

Strong Bad: {voiceover} I sit here in my smoke-filled office, wondering when my next case is. Renaldo comes in, telling me to get my gun and get on the case. I pick up my gun and run off. I work alone, 'cept when I work with Renaldo. Yep, it's me. I'm a private eye. A crooked cop. I'm... Dangeresque.

{The light turns on as he says "Dangeresque"}

{A sign is held up that says "Dangeresque 4: The Criminal Case" with an "H" under the "C" and "A" in "case". Strong Bad does the Dangeresque theme.}

{Another sign appears that says "Not in 3D"}

{Strong Bad is sitting at his desk in his smoke-filled office. He has his glasses on.}

Strong Bad: Oh, I need to crack a case before I leave this building!

{Nothing happens}

Strong Bad: I said, "Oh, I need to crack a case before I leave this building!"

{Bub's voice says in the background "Go, go!"}

Coach Z: {running through the door} Dangeresque! I need you to crack this case!

Strong Bad: I'm on it!

{Strong Bad does part of the Dangeresque theme and the camera goes outside Dangeresque too's door.}

Strong Bad: Dangeresque! I need you to help me capture Perducci before he blows up the ocean!

Homestar: {from behind the door} I'm on it!

{Homestar swings the door open, hitting Strong Bad. The camera is quickly turned off, then turned back on, shaking, showing Strong Bad beating on Homestar, which then camera is quickly turned off again.}

{Strong Bad does some of the Dangeresque theme}

{Strong Bad and Homestar are behind Bub's Concession Stand. Homestar has his glasses on, as well as Strong Bad.}

Strong Bad: This is where one of Perducci's minions live, so let's go beat him up!

{Cut to Homestar and Strong Bad taking turns punching Strong Sad in the stomach.}

{Strong Sad is lying on the ground.}

Strong Bad: I don't think he's dead yet.

{They whack Strong Sad with plastic, yellow bats.}

Strong Bad: Okay, now let's go find Perducci!

{Strong Bad does another part of the theme.}

Bubs: {wearing a monicle, holding The Cheat} Dangeresque! You aren't clever! You... {picks up a packet of paper and reads over it}... don't know I captured Perducci and made me better...than him? Are you sure this is rig-

{The camera cuts to The King of Town in a cardboard box labeled "Jail". The Poopsmith is standing by the box with a label on him saying "Deadly gaurd".}

{Strong Bad does the theme again.}

Strong Bad: We've been traveling through this desert for a really long time! We need to rest!

Homestar: You are right! Let's sit down!

{Homestar and Strong Bad sit down}

{The camera swerves around and falls to the ground with a crashing noise and Coach Z yelling. The camera goes off.}

{It comes back on}

Strong Bad: What was that? We better go check it out!

{They run out of the camera angle. It cuts to Strong Bad and Homestar watching Marzipan build a fence.}

Strong Bad: It was only Cutesy Buttons making a gaurd tower!

{Homestar and Strong Bad both laugh.}

Marzipan: Huh?

The Cheat: Meh me mh Meh!

{Strong Bad and Homestar turn around to see The Cheat and The Poopsmith standing there. The Poopsmith's label now says "really Big guy".}

Homestar:
Strong Bad: {simultaneously} Oh! You take the big guy!

{Homestar jumps off angle. He is then shown kicking Strong Sad in the face.}

Strong Sad: Oh! Oh! Ouch! Face! Bleeding!

{The camera turns back to Strong Bad and Homestar}

Strong Bad: Nice job kicking that big guy! Now let's go find Perducci!

{Yet another theme}

The Cheat: Meh meh neh meh Meh!

Bubs: Dangeresque got away?! Send out my secret weapon and their doom!

The Cheat: Meh meh.

{The theme again}

{Strong Bad and Homestar are in a cardboard box with the hose behind them, pretending to zoom down a river. They are in StrongBadia.}

Strong Bad: Perducci changed his secret lair to an island in the middle of the ocean, so we have to speed boat over there!

{The camera slides to show movement of the "boat". A hubcap is rolled off-sceen. The shark-holding bear pops up from behind the fence but the scene changes quickly.}

Strong Bad: We have to jump out of this boat before is explodes!

{Homestar and Strong Bad hop out of the box. The camera cuts to Strong Bad's character video props and the box flying out from behind them. Strong Bad makes a poor explosion noise.}

Strong Bad: We made it just in time before the boat blew up!

Bubs: Meet your doom!

{Homestar and Strong Bad turn around to see Strong Mad. His singlet says Killingyouguy! on it. Strong Bad imitates a guitar screech over the top.}

Homestar: We're gonna need more people to help us with this!

{Homestar and Strong Bad keep their position as the camera turns off. It turns back on with Marzipan, Coach Z, The Cheat, The Poopsmith (with his label saying "good Guy"), and Homsar. Bubs (without his monicle) runs in behind Coach Z.}

{The camera cuts to everyone attacking Strong Sad. Marzipan swings her hair in his face, Strong Bad punches him, Homestar kicks him, Bubs punches him rapidly, Coach Z is on his back grabbing his neck, and Homsar is dancing around. The Poopsmih stands there.}

{Strong Sad lays on the ground with only Strong Bad and Homestar beside him. Coach Z's feet and part of his face are visible on the right side of the screen.}

Homestar: Well, we beat Perducci and got the serum, I mean ocean, back.

{Coach Z moves off-screen}

Homestar:
Strong Bad: {simultaneously} Looks like were gonna have to jump!

{They jump off Bub's Concession Stand, silhoulted against a sunset. The credits roll as Strong Bad sings.}

Strong Bad:
When you believe,
you'll get a cool car!
When you believe,
your car will go far!
Just beliiiiieeeevvveee!

Dangeresque – Strong Bad
Dangeresque – Homestar Runner
Renaldo – Coach Z
Perducci – The King of Town
Douglas - Himself
Cutesy Buttons – Marzipan
Killingyouguy! – Strong Mad
Minion – Le' Idiote'
Minion - The Cheat
The Poopsmith - Himself

Believe - written and preformed by Strong Bad

{At the end of the credits, the "Joy of Painting" television shows with Homestar and Strong Bad apparently watching it.}

Strong Bad: That was- did you see...that, was amazing.

Homestar: Yeah, yeah. Did you see me when I jumped off that building?

Strong Bad: Yeah, yeah, yeah and when I, I did that thing?

Homestar: That was pretty cool when you, you did that thing you did.

Strong Bad: Yeah.

Homestar: Yeah.

{There is a long silence.}

Strong Bad: Listen, uh... I'ma gonna go check my e-mail now. Dumpface.

{Strong Bad runs off.}