(The scene opens with Homestar Runner at Bubs' Concession Stand, finalizing a transaction.)
Bubs: ...and 16 cents is your change. (drops the change on the counter)
Homestar Runner: Whoa! Free money!
Bubs: So, what are you gettin' into tonight, Homestar?
Homestar Runner: I dunno. Marzipan and those are gonna try to summon the spirit of her dead ficus plant, but that sounds dumb and boring, so I'll probably just end up trick-or-treatin'.
Bubs: What about Strong Bad? What's he doin'?
Homestar Runner: I dunno. You can never tell with that guy.
(Strong Bad approaches the concession stand.)
Strong Bad: Ok, Bubs. I'll have 90 rolls of toilet paper and 60 dozen eggs. (looks around) ...and a corn dog.
Bubs: I got it all packed up for you in the wagon round back.
Strong Bad: Thanks, pally.
(Strong Bad and Bubs go around back.)
Homestar Runner: What is he up to?
{titles}
3 TIMES HALLOWEEN FUNJOB
a halloween-type cartoon by the brothers chaps
talkings by matt and missy
MU-HU-HA-HA
{end titles}
Marzipan: Now Strong Sad, I need to make contact with Credenza. Homestar watered him with Yoo-Hoo while I was in Miami and he died and now I really miss him.
Strong Sad: Ok. I'll need a photograph of the deceased and two box oreos.
(cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat in their costumes with their supplies for the evening)
Strong Bad: Oh, this is gonna be so great you guys. Everybody's houses and pumpkins and trees won't know what hit 'em. This is gonna be great!
The King of Town: Hey, Guys. What's up? What are we doing here?
Making omelettes? Going to the bathroom? I'm cool with that.
Strong Bad: Get out of here, old man! We're gonna be pelting people like you and houses like your castle with these eggs.
The King of Town: C'mon! Let me hang out!
Strong Bad: No way! Forget it! C'mon los dudes. Let's go hit Marzipan's gazebo (pronounced gays-boh).
(they all leave and the King of Town chases after them.)
The King of Town: I'm dressed to hamburgle... Rubble! Rubble!
(cut to Homestar, Pom Pom, Coach Z, and Bubs standing around in their costumes)
Homestar Runner: I bet I get...a million pounds of candy this year. A million pounds!
Bubs: Whatever. I'm goin' for quality over quantity.
Coach Z: Same here, Bubsy. I'm holdin' out for cookies with gold-plated chorclate chorps!
(Bubs sighs)
Homestar Runner: We'll see about that. C'mon, Pom Pom. Let's go find some houses giving away lead candies!
Strong Bad: Let 'er rip! (many rolls of toilet paper are thrown into the air. The Stick is covered.) Yes! All will tremble at the crack of our eggs and the hush of our 2-ply toilet papers.
The King of Town: I know how to use toilet paper. Let me try.
Strong Bad: Listen... ahem... Your Highness, we're about to egg the everloving crap out of your castle. It just won't be any fun if you're standing there!
The King of Town: Yeah it will! On a count o' I'm totally cool!
Strong Bad: No, you're not. But we're prepared to give you a dozen of these eggs and let you wash it down with a roll of toilet paper in exchange for you leaving us alone for the rest of eternity.
The King of Town: It's a deal! (The King runs off, taking his eggs and toilet paper with him.)
Strong Bad: That's what I thought.
(cuts to a door opening to reveal Coach Z and Bubs in their costumes)
Bubs: What the? Oh, I remember this house from a couple of years ago.
Coach Z: Track or Trort!
Bubs: C'mon. man.
Coach Z: Ok. Trick or Treat.
(At this point you can choose what candy to give them by dragging it onto them.)
Swedish Fish
Coach Z: Oh, the Swordish Forsh!
Bubs: What did I just tell you?
Coach Z: Cut me some slack. It's a crowd-pleaser.
(door closes)
Delicious "Bag"
Coach Z:What is that? One of them old school candies? I got some old school for you'z. (rapping) This year Halloween falls on a weekend. Me and ghetto boys are trick-or treat-en'. Robbin' little kids for bags.
Bubs: Uh... he doesn't really mean we've been out robbin' little kids. (door closes) No, wait...(slam)
Zagnut
Bubs: Aw, Zagnut!
Coach Z: Yeah. Aw, Zagnut!
Bubs: No, no. Aw, Zagnut!
Coach Z: Right, right. Aw, Zagnut!
Both: Awwwww! (slam)
(you can also choose nothing by clicking the pumpkin. If you do this, the door closes, and reopens with Stinkoman dressed as Speed Racer.)
Stinkoman: Check out my new cosplay! I'm a daemon on wheels!
Zagnut
Stinkoman: I can't eat that kind of bar because I'm in training. Don't you have of the other kinds of bars? You know... energy bars... or power bars... or training bars?
Prawn
Stinkoman: I love prawns. Simple as that! (Starts doin this odd dance)
Jar labeled "Akira"
Stinkoman: Eh. Ew. Aah! Nnn! Eh! Ew! Ahhhhh! (Giant tentacles start coming out his body where his right arm should be. You have to see the movie
Akira to understand this part) That tickles.
(cuts to Pom Pom and Homestar walking along)
Homestar Runner: Wow, Pom Pom. Did you know that lady? Why did she give you a hundred bucks? Alls I got was a dang old Bit o' Honey.
(they stop at The Poopsmith, dressed up, who is sticking his shovel in and out of a pile of
you-know-what)
Homestar Runner: Ok, Pom Pom. You knock this time. (Pom Pom does nothing) Fine. I'll ring the doorbell. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! (He rocks his head back and forth as if he were banging it on a door) The Poopsmith! Trick or Treat! (The poopsmith offers some of his dung. Pom Pom bubbles something and leaves) Suit yourself. More for me.
Lay it on me, Poop-Stick!
(cuts to Strong Sad in his seance)
Strong Sad: Credenza! Credwenzia! Crewdenz--
Marzipan: It's been two hours and we haven't heard anything. Credenza must hate me.
Strong Sad: No, no! Maybe I just need to do this some more. Credenzell!
(they hear a knocking sound)
Marzipan: What's that? That must be him.
Strong Sad: Yup. That sounds like a ficus.
(it's Homestar Runner on the porch)
Homestar Runner: Let me in. Da, Da, Da. Let me in!
Marzipan: Hey, you're not a dead ficus plant!
Homestar Runner: You're so smart. I'm Homestar Runn--
Marzipan: Get in here, you guys. You're gonna scare away Credenza.
(cuts to the King of Town polishing off his toilet paper)
The King of Town: Doo! Not bad for a first course. I'm still hungry.
(cuts back to everyone at Marzipan's house)
Homestar Runner: I told you I'd get a million libs of candy.
Bubs: That sure doesn't smell like candy.
Homestar Runner: Hey, you're right! Poopsmith? Did you give me some bum candy?
Bubs: (snickers) He sure did!
(if you click The Poopsmiths head during the previous scene, Homsar will now come out in his costume)
Homsar: Daaaaah! I'm open for interpretation.
Marzipan: Any minute now. (electrical disturbances occur) Oooo!
Strong Sad: Woah! Electrical disturbances. There's definitely a powerful spirit present.
Homestar Runner: Do you mean, like, the spirit of giving?
(outside the King of Town is eating a string of candycorn lights)
The King of Town: Oot oh. oot ooh.
Marzipan: You've got to be kidding me! Stop doing that right now.
(she goes back in)
The King of Town: Stop what? I don't do nothing!
Marzipan: Stupid, stupid King of Town. He gets on my nerv--(loud banging occurs) What the crap!?
Strong Sad: I think this is it!
(outside, Strong Mad is punching the side of the house with a roll of TP over and over)
Strong Mad: WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH!
Strong Bad: Uhhh, that's not really the conventional way to roll a house, but, uh, whatever works!
Strong Mad: (punches a hole in the house) HIGGINS!!
Marzipan: Oh. Hi, Strong Mad. (mumbles) Stupid. This is stupid. He ate the candycorn lights.
Strong Bad: Woah. What's going on in here? You guys having one of those stupid moron parties or something?
Strong Sad: OK. Everybody say it with me this time.
Everyone except Strong Bad and Homestar: Credenza! Credenza!
Strong Bad: This is boring! This is boring!
Homestar Runner: Witch's brew! Witch's brew!
(the lights go out)
Strong Sad: Woah. The lights went out.
Homestar Runner: Woah. Magic.
Bubs: Yup. I've dealt with this before. Lights: definitely out.
Homestar Runner: And somebody's a-grabbin' a-my butt.
(the lights come on and there is a ficus plant on the table)
Marzipan: Credenza! You're alive!
Homestar Runner: Saints be praised! Credenza's alive!
Strong Sad and Marzipan: Yay!
Homestar Runner: ...and Strong Bad got to throw toilet paper at stuff!
Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat: Yay!
Homestar Runner:... and I got a million pounds of candy! (no one cheers) Yay. ...and the goblin showed up dressed like up a Santaman.
(goblin dance)
Everyone: Yay!
THE END
(now everyone is standing around in their costumes. When you click the following individuals, they say the following things...)
The Cheat
Homestar Runner: Hey, The Cheat! Um... dress up as something different next year. Thing's creepin' me out.
Bubs
Homestar Runner: Hey, Bubs. I really like your dowty man outfit.
Bubs: Whatever you say, Homestar.
Marzipan
Homestar Runner: Hey, Marzipan. What's with your sweater costume?
Strong Bad: The Log Lady, huh? Maybe you should get together with the Poopsmith.
The Poopsmith
(The Poopsmith does a special move by M. Bison from Street Fighter 2)
Homestar Runner: Cool. Flaming Poopsmith.
Strong Bad
Homestar Runner: Hey, Strong Bad. I really like your El DeBarge costume.
Strong Bad: I'm not El DeBarge.
Bubs:No, no. He's Miami Sound Machine.
Strong Bad: No, I'm not.
Coach Z: He's Terence Trent D'Arby.
Strong Bad: No, I'm Carmen freakin' Mir-- no, wait. I'm Ozone... from Breakin'.
Coach Z
Homestar Runner: Hey Coach Z. I really like your Wesley Snapes outfit.
Coach Z: I'm Kool Moe Dee! You know, from the Treacherous Three.
Homestar Runner: Oh! See, I only saw Treacherous I and II, so, um, I wouldn't know.
Strong Sad
Coach Z: Well, Strong Sad, this is a beautiful house you got here.
Strong Sad: This is not my beautiful house?!
Coach Z: Oh, and I haven't been introduced to your beautiful wife yet, neither.
Strong Sad: This is not my beautiful wife?!
(This is a reference to the song
Once In a Lifetime by Talking Heads)
At the end there is a little bonus video if you click on the rightmost candy corn light. It features the puppet Homestar in his John McEnroe costume, playing tennis.
Homestar: Seriously! You can't be serious. That ball was on the line. Come on! I don't believe this! (storms off)
Homestar Runner as John McEnroe
Strong Bad as Ozone
Strong Mad as Magnum P.I.
Strong Sad as David Byrne
Bubs as Mel
Marzipan as The Log Lady
The Poopsmith as M.Bison
Coach Z as Kool Moe Dee
The Cheat as Izzy
The King of Town as The Hamburglar
PomPom as Kamala The Ugandan Giant
and
Homsar as Slash