STRONG BAD:
{singing and typing} I met her in the summertime. {stops typing} Her name was...
{high pitch singing} e-mail!
{presses enter}
STRONG BAD:
{reading email below}
- Hey Strong Bad,
- I thought you looked cute as a Japanese cartoon with the blue hair and everything. ^_~
STRONG BAD:
{makes funny sounds} I think that's how you say that.
- I was thinking you might look even better if you got out in the sun and got a nice tan. I've heard that a nice tan really helps your muscles stand out.
- Meg, KS.
{presses enter}
STRONG BAD: That's a good point, KS. With the summer months all up on us, I'll probably be going shirtless more often than usual. I know one thing the ladies love more than a regular
Strong Bad is a lightly toasted
Strong Bad.
{presses enter}
STRONG BAD: And I guess it'll help to accentuate my abdominal muscles and my abs, and my cloits. They're already bulging all over the place as it is, but I guess a little more definition wouldn't kill me.
{cut to: Strong Bad lying on a towel, sunbathing in a field, probably near the stick. Next to him are buckets labeled 'Animal Phat - "it's lard, yo!"' and 'cocoa butter'}
STRONG BAD: Alright c'mon sun, show me what you got. Don't pull no punches neither. I want the real radioactive stuff.
{enter stage right, The King of Town, wearing round sunglasses}
THE KING OF TOWN:
{Sniffs} Oh there it is!
STRONG BAD:
{rising from his towel} There what is?
THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh nothing. Hi
Strong Bad. How are you this day?
STRONG BAD: Well, I certainly better before you showed up. I'm still doing pretty good.
THE KING OF TOWN:
{sneakly stealing the cocoa butter while Strong Bad isn't looking} Oh good, Oh, well that's all I wanted to know. I guess I'll be moving to a different smell-- place.
{shoots off stage right taking the cocoa butter}
STRONG BAD: Oh! Hey! He took my cocoa butter!
{The King of Town peeks back in and grabs the Animal Phat with his invisible hands}
{Cut to words: 6-8 hours later...}
{Cut to Strong Bad sunbathing again, however, his chest is extremly pink}
{Enter Marzipan with a large green oriental style umbrella}
MARZIPAN:
Strong Bad, how long have you been lying here?
STRONG BAD: I dunno, 6, maybe 8 hours
MARZIPAN: You know, you're supposed to flip over every 15 minutes or so...
STRONG BAD: What? Who wants a tan on their back? There's no abs to accentuate. Not like up here.
{stands, admiring his non-existant abs} Ooh, check it out, Ab City, USA,
{shaking hips} do do do.
MARZIPAN:
Strong Bad, I don't see a single ab.
STRONG BAD: What are you talking about, it's like a cold one brewery over here, there's so many six-packs.
{producing a sharpie marker} check it out,
{drawing abs onto his chest} one, two, threefourfivesix. Oops, forgot the hatching.
MARZIPAN: Aren't you supposed to have pecks?
STRONG BAD: Don't need em! That's why they call me Double A. All Abs.
MARZIPAN: That's weird.
{Marzipan exits stage right}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, I bet I could make some serious dough off this idea. I could be like, a thousandaire, or at least a hundredaire.
{cut to fake ad, with Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000 zooming in slowly}
THE ANNOUNCER: Introducing the all new
Strong Bad Ab-Abber 2000! Get results like the the professionals in
{words appear on screen} Minutes! Nay! Seconds! Just listen to this guy over here!
{cut to Strong Sad holding the Ab-Abber 2000}
STRONG SAD:
{sounding like he is reading off of a tele-prompter} Since using
Strong Bad's Ab-Abber Two Thous And the ladies have been all up ons.
{talking to someone off camera} All up ons? I don't even know what that means?
STRONG BAD:
{off camera} Well,
Strong Sad, it means they really like you.
STRONG SAD: But they don't! Specially now with all this sharpie on my stomach.
STRONG BAD: Just read the lines man.
{Strong Bad's hand appears on camera holding what appears to be a plush lobster}
STRONG BAD: Do you want to see
Gooblies again or what?
STRONG SAD: You leave Gooby out of this!
{Cut to: Close up of the Ab-Abber 2000 box with words 'Act Now!' flashing at the top of the screen}
THE ANNOUNCER: Act now and recieve the Cloitserizer
{words appear at bottom of screen} Abs-solutely free!
{words disappear} Max out your
{words appear flashing in center screen} Cloits and Dloits!!?! with the ease of a thousandaire.
Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000.
{words appear} "They'll be all up ons!"
{The Paper appears}