STRONG BAD: And coming in at number 91, it's: E-Maaaaaaaaaaail! {begins to read}

Dear Strong Bad,

It must be really annoying living with someone as whiny as Strong Sad. Why don't you slip him some caffeine?

Justin
Murfreesburo, TN {he says "Tekken"}

{typing} Ohhhhhhh. (devilish laugh)

{clears the screen and types again}

Dear Justin,

In addition to the cut of your jib, I likes the sound of your town. Murfreesboro. But we got the All-Wide Science Fair just around the corner and I've been straining for a project. So far alls I've come up with is the effects of gasoline {pauses a bit} on fire. {stops typing}

{cut to a blue-print-style background that displays what Strong Bad says as he says it}

STRONG BAD: So, I figure I just drop a couple of heaping spoonfuls of Sanka into Strong Sad's orange juice, and collect the ensuing data. I'll definitely get first place. And who knows? I might even win me a Noble Peacie Prize!

{Cut to view of Strong Bad and Strong Sad in the basement. One of Strong Sad's eyes is open unnaturally wide, and he holds his hands high above his head. His fingers twitch from time to time.}

STRONG BAD: So Strong Sad, tell me, how do you feel?

STRONG SAD: {speaking very quickly and clapping his hands together over his head} I feel great! I feel great! I feel great! I feel bad! I don't even watch football! I don't even watch football! I can't remember my legs!

{cut to Strong Sad following The Cheat on hands and knees}

STRONG SAD: Hey The Cheat! Listen Up! Hodododododo! What did I say? What did I just say? Did I say anything? What about this one: hoo hee haw whadiawah! Did that mean anything? {Strong Bad voice-over begins} Did I offend you? I hope I didn't offend you.

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} After being exposed to my control The Cheat, subject started acting way creepier than normal, like... even for Strong Sad.

{cut to Marzipan's house, where she is trying to paint with Strong Sad next to her}

STRONG SAD: Marzipan, Marzipan! What do you wanna make? You wanna make some wood-davers with me? I got pine cones! I got peanut butter! I got everything we need! I said pine cones! pine cones! Gonna be successful! Gonna be phenomenally successful! Sell 'em at the corner store! Sell 'em at the five and dime! Marzipan, you gotta get on the train, get on the wood-davers train! Here goes the wood-davers train! Itís takiní off! It's a new century!

{Strong Sad continues to ramble on as Marzipan walks away and Strong Bad continues}

STRONG BAD: Subject's condition continued to deteriorate, and he began making up arts and crafts activities. Like wood-davers.

{cut to Strong Bad's basement}

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!

STRONG SAD: {hanging from the ceiling} No!

STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!

STRONG SAD: No no!... Parakeet!

STRONG MAD: DID YOU JUST SAY PARAKEET?

{cut to a field with Strong Sad and Coach Z}

STRONG BAD: In the final stages, subject became {the following words come up on the screen as Strong Bad says them} - Erratic
- Violent {then he says "and"}
- Really funny to watch

STRONG SAD: {slapping Coach Z} Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! What-a-ya-got? What-a-ya-got for me? How about that? Wanna play some soccer? {continues to talk as Coach Z responds}

COACH Z: Woo! Cut that out! Don't hurt me! I don't wanna die! I'm just an old man-- {Strong Sad steals his hat} Ooh! Ooh!

STRONG SAD: ...salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! {slowing down} salad... salad as a rock?... um... Coach Z, what are we doin' here?

COACH Z: You was tryin' to jank me!

STRONG SAD: Feelin' woozy... {Strong Sad falls on his back. Coach Z's hat lands on his stomach.}

{cut to the All-Wide Science Fair auditorium stage, where a picture of Strong Sad on his back is shown on Strong Bad's easel under the caption "Results:"}

STRONG BAD: At this point, the test subject was dead. {gasp from the audience}

STRONG SAD: I was not dead!

STRONG BAD: Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion: Strong Sadís adopted. {another gasp from the audience}

STRONG SAD: That's not true either!

{The Paper comes down as a close up of Strong Bad's project is shown}



Comments

I'm pretty sure he doesn't say "I even watched football." It sounds more like "I'm unwatchinable" but that makes no sense. Anyone? - agnamaracs

One of the lines says, "I can't remember my legs." But since I first saw this email, I thought it was "I can't remember my lines". It makes more sense 2 me anyway.

I'm pretty sure the line is "I'm inwashinable," and that the line is "I can't remember my legs." You complain because it don't make no sense? You're talking about a cartoon that features a flying marshmallow, a star with no arms who still holds things, and a poopsmith, who spends all day just shoveling poop. If you're looking for logic, this is not the place to be.

Sounded to me like he said "I am a marshmallow!" - Anon