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Features: Marzipan, Coach Z, Strong Bad, Stinko man, Grape Nuts Robot, Bubs, The Cheat

Marzipan's Greeting:

MARZIPAN: Bonjour, amigos. Je m'appelle Marzipanio. Please leave me a messiaggio and I will call you back-io. toodle-oo toots, everyone. {beep}

Message 5:

COACH Z: Oh, hey, there, Marzy. I was just calling to see, uh, whether we were just friends or more than just friends. See, I sometimes forget what's real and what's just in my head. So, uh, gimme a call back or, uh, maybe just come by my place and we can discuss this over a bowl 'a Cracklin' Oat Bran or... the Crunch Berries. OK. Take the care. Oh, and by that I mean, like, uh, Tender Loving Care, not... not, uh, take my automobile. A lot of times people have trouble understandin'...

Message 4:

STRONG BAD: {in a sweepstakes announcer voice} Hello, Marzipan. This is Sweeptakes Ron come to bring you great news! You have been randomly selected to win an unlimited supply of one million (punches-in-the-face). So, to claim your prize, just blindfold yourself and walk out on the front stow-oop, or stoop. and get ready to recieve your free million (punches-in-the-face). Don't delay! Get outside right now! I'm waiting in the bushes! I mean.. for to give you the million (punches-in-the-face).

Message 3:

STINKOMAN: Hello? I think I have the wrong number. Your voice sounds like this is the wrong number. But just in case, can I interest you in a challenge, or maybe some light fighting? If so, call me on my cell phoooone!

Message 2:

GRAPE NUTS ROBOT: {monotone} Hello, Marzipan.

STRONG BAD: Alright, now make him say it. Make him say it!

GRAPE NUTS ROBOT: {monotone} Kiss the butt.

STRONG BAD: Did he just say, "Kiss the butt?" No, make him say "Kiss MY butt,".

GRAPE NUTS ROBOT: {monotone} Kiss a butt.

STRONG BAD: Not "Kiss A butt!" What's wrong with this thing, Bubs?

BUBS: I thought I told you no names!

STRONG BAD: I, er, {hangs up phone, dial tone}

Message 1:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's up, Pawkeegan, This is Homestar Runner {The Cheat walks by in the background} from homestarrunner.com, and you're listening to the cornbread hour, here on WPKG, pointy-point-five, the voice of Pawkeegan State. OK, Sweepstakes Ron? Are you there? Hello? You told me to call this number and leave a radio promo, and then you'd give me the sweepstakes. So, gimme some of that sweepstakes.