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Features: Marzipan, Strong Bad, The King of Town, PomPom, Homestar Runner

Marzipan's Greeting:

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. leave me a message. I am screening my calls today, but I'll pick up if I feel like it. See you later. {beep}

Message 6:

STRONG BAD: Uh, yes, hello there Mrs. Pan. This is, uh, Detective Everybody down here at the station. And um, we got your boyfriend Homestar down here and, uh, he's dead. Because we killed him, because he was so stupid that we had to shoot him, to keep him from being even more stupid. So if you wanna come down and I.D. the body, there's not much left. We put about 37 slugs in him, and things don't look too good. Uh, so if you could come down we would appreciate it, right now, um, to come look at your dead boyfriend. {stifled laughter} Ok, have a good day.

Message 5:

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooo, Hello Marzipan, it's the King of Town, here. I just wanted to invite you to a.. a banquet I'm having, and -- ooo! ooo! I've got to call you back! My... my... pizza's just arrived! Doo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Message 4:

MARZIPAN: Hi, Marzipan. This is Marzipan calling. Just wanted to remind you: Don't let Homestar have that leftover strudel tonight, because he's looking a little bit fat around the edges. Ok. See you tonight.

Message 3:

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooo, hello, Marzipan. It's the King, again. I apologize. So, about my banquet. It's going to be at my castle, and -- oh! oo! My leg of lamb is here! Ohh, hoo! Excuse me, I've got to call you back! Doo! Doo, hoo doo, hoo doo!

Message 2:

POM POM: {bubbling noises}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom, that's not what I said! Ok, ok, Marzipan. Seriously, that is not what I said, at all. Um, I don't know what Pom Pom was talking about, or why he would call you to tell you what he just told you. In fact, I think that was some type of hilarious joke, hah hah. That's what it was. Pom Pom, I've said it once, and I'll say it again: You're crazy! Ok, sweetheart. Bye.

Message 1:

THE KING OF TOWN: Ok, Marzipan, let's give this one more try. It's the King again... and about my banquet, I wa.. Ohh, ooh, I'm sorry! My year's supply of salisbury sundaes has just arrived! I'm never calling you back! Mee! Rloo! Roo hoo hoo hoo hoo!!