[Watch it!]

Features: Marzipan, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Coach Z

Note: This answering machine is full of uh's, um's, and stutters. If you think I missed one, or I added one too many, feel free to change it.

Marzipan's Greeting:

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out looking at the fall colors. Please leave me a message, and I'll call you right back. {beep}

Message 6:

STRONG BAD: Uh... Mrs. Pan. Uh, Hello. Uh, yes, this is, uh, Mr. Nobody from the toilet patrol. And, um, we're just calling because we need you to do a check-up on your toilet. So, if you could, uh, stick your head in the toilet and, um, flush the toilet {holding back laughter} and then give us a call back and let us know if your toilet is alright. Okay, have a good day. {more stifled laughter}

Message 5:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey Marzipan, it's Homestar, and it is... {pauses slightly to check his watch} 2:30, and me and Pom Pom were about to leave, so, we'll see you there, and uh, if... what? ...{laughing to himself} Pom Pom says, "Don't be late,". Pom Pom, you're crazy! Okay, we'll see you there. Bye!

Message 4:

STRONG SAD: What? Oh, it's the machine. Oh, well, hey... hey Marzipan, it's Strong Sad. And, uh, I was wondering if you... do you still have my CDs? 'Cause I think you still have them and it's been three months and, um, I like those CDs and, uh, I even got ya those same CDs for your birthday and you still have mine. So, i--if you could give 'em back or -- I mean, I guess -- you know, take your time. You don't have to give 'em back if--if you, um, you don't want to. Have a good day, Bye.

Message 3:

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey Marzipan, it's Homestar again, and me and Pom Pom are here, and you're supposed to be here, but you're not here. So, um... I guess we're gonna go in. We'll get you a ticket, and... we'll go in... or maybe I'll wait outside. Um, no, or maybe I'll go in. Um, but Pom Pom's got his cell, so give us a call on his cell phone if you get this message. And if not, we'll, I'll tell you if it was good. Ok. Bye.

Message 2:

STRONG BAD: Um... Marzipan, thi--this is Strong Bad, um, calling you for the first time today. No reason I would've called you before, because, this is the first time... for calling... to you. Uh, so anyway, I need some help baking. I... I can't get these cookies to come out right, and now I'm out of eggs. So, if--if you've got any bright ideas, give me a call, um, 'cause, I've only called you once, so you can call me back once now, too. Okay, okay bye.

Message 1:

COACH Z: Okay, hey there Marzipan. It's a-- It's the Coach Z here. And, uh, I'm leavin' ya a, uh, a machine -- er a message on yer machine, there. And I-I got a favor to ask you about Homestar. He's a-- he's kinda been draggin' his tookus around the field, at a, y'know at practice there. And I was wondering if you could do something, ya know, to kinda cheer him up. Maybe, you know, something that you girls do fer the guys. One of those types of things. I don't know, you could do some type of a silly dance, or, uh, put somethin' in his pants... you know, I don't know what you do there, but uh, I'd really appreciate it 'cuz he's been lookin' kinda blue out there on--on the feerald, so ok then, a-- good day.