{A scene with three screens on a stage is shown. There is a desk in the middle of the stage. The Newscaster sits down on it.}

NEWSCASTER: Hello! Tired of normal news? Bored with the reports? Then you'll enjoy Channel Tooty-Two News!

{The middle screen shows a car chase.}

NEWSCASTER: Looks exiting, huh? In our news, we aim to please.

{The right screen shows a politician giving a speech.}

NEWSCASTER: No more boring reports like this!

POLITICIAN (same time as newscaster): This newscaster is a meanace to society!

NEWSCASTER: And we always wrap it up with irrelevant trivia.

{The last screen reads "Dr. Tim Soda was the 1,000,000th person to eat Rocky Road ice cream."}

NEWSCASTER: Wow! It's like an ideal life! It's coming your way this summer!