{Homestar, Coach Z, and Pom-Pom are on a football field. Pom-Pom is seen kicking a basketball around in the background whilst Homestar kicks a can, depressed}
CAPTION: "One day after sports, Coach Z noticed Homestar Runner looking troubled"
COACH Z: Hey, what's the problem there, Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man, Coach Z, I guess I just don't understand the ladies.
COACH Z: Oh jeez, I figured it was girl trouble. Step into my office.
[Cut to the locker room]
COACH Z: So, tell me what's the matter.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, it's Marzipan's birthday, and I don't what to get her!
[The alien in the shower's towel falls off]
COACH Z: Well, Homestar, I tell you. Girls are like a great sports play. [we now see a blackboard with a gameplay on it] You can't just rush in to the score zone! You kiddin' me? You'd be clobbered! You've gotta stick and move and zig and zag to get past the defenses, so you's can score! [blackboard writing forms a skull]
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But Coach, I don't understand! [Homestar's mouth simply stays open through the entire sentence here]
COACH Z: Don't just get her a flower. [Scene showing Homestar giving Marzipan a regular flower; flower droops.] Get her some rare flower from the tallest mountain! [Scene showing Homestar at the top of a mountain with a rare flower wearing laderhosem] That way she knows how much she means to yah's!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks Coach! {Levitates and flys away to the sound of squealing tires}
{Homestar is sitting on a rock next to a tree. The sun and moon rise and set several times}
CAPTION: So he thought and thought... Until finally...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think I has the solution! The Yello-Dello!
{Scene changes to the Yello-Dello on the "Discover Network." An australian host describes the bird}
HOST: Found only in north-eastern Potamia, the Yello-Dello is the most rare and beautiful bird in this entire cartoon.
{Strong Sad, PomPom and Homestar are about to set out on their journey}
CAPTION: And So Homestar, Pom Pom, and Strong ad set out in search of the Yello-Dello...
{A map appears and red dotted lines track their route through Far Off Lands, Prance, Portugal and Potamia}
CAPTION: They traveled many miles...
{The adventurers are in a game of Pitfall.}
CAPTION: Encountered many dangers...
{Homestar swings over the alligators}
CAPTION: Until at last they reached their destination...
{The Yello-Dello is shown atop a mountain. The three approach the base of the mountain}
STRONG SAD: Oh I don't know Homestar, that looks really dangerous.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah, come one guys, lets do it for Marzipan!
STRONG SAD: Well, I already got Marzipan a present and I don't really think that-
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right, Right. We do it for Marzipan.
{Cut to Marzipan watering some flowers with a watering can that says "H2Oh!".}
CAPTION: Meanwhile...
{Strong Bad flies onscreen, wearing what appear to be oven mitts}
STRONG BAD: Hey Marzipan, I heard Homestar's getting you the Yello-Dello for your birthday. You wanna know what I got you? NOTHING!
{Marzipan is angry at Strong Bad's rudeness but cheers herself up by thinking about the Yello-Dello}
MARZIPAN: {happily} My very own Yello Dello!
{Back to our hero's at the bottom of the mountain. A burlap sack wiggles next to them''}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ok, we got it. Now let's go home and get ready for the party.
{Marzipan's house is decorated with balloons (on the mailbox) and a big banner reading "happy birthday marzipan" Marzipan hops around a bit by her mailbox then walks over to her house. She opens the door to see Pom Pom, Strong Sad and Homestar, who is holding chicken on a platter}
ALL: Happy Birthday!
{Marzipan thinks the chicken is the Yello-Dello, screams and slaps Homestar. Hard. The unharmed Yello-Dello pops out of a giftbox.}
YELLO-DELLO: Gee, waddya think her problem was?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I guess I just don't understand the ladies.
CAPTION: end. {The scorpion from the Pitfall scene crawls by and you hear creepy music}
Transcribed by Hobophobic and liato