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STRONG BAD: {Rapping} I'm not going to sing an email song this week e-{Talking} Oh. Never mind. {Pulls up email} {Reading} YO yo Strong Bad, Hey Strong Bad I-{Stops reading} Well, which is it? "Yo yo" or "Hey" Strong Bad? I mean, the outcome of the rest of this whole email hinges on the decision and may-{Keeps reading} I was wondering if you have ever made Homestar cry. DJ Solerous, Australia. {Typing} Whoa! THE DJ Solerous? What an honor! I saw you spin in a warehouse in Canberra a few years back! Uh, no wait. I lied. I, nor anyone else, have ever heard of DJ Smoldyface. {Pulls up page} So, have I ever made Homestar cry? Uh, yes. Yes I have. A lot. I can pretty much make anyone cry just by showing them this drawing I invented of a one-legged pupppy named "Li'l Brudder" {Holds up a picture of a one-legged puppy saying "I can make it on my own"} {Laughing} I mean, it cracks me up, but Homestar just falls apart when he sees him. A-like so... {Gets up} {Cut to: field. Homestar is standing there, looking angrily offscreen right. Enter Strong Bad} HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, you stay over there. STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar. I've got something for you. HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Strong Bad! What is it what is it what is it what is it what is it? STRONG BAD: It's just this drawing I made... HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Uneasy} Oh, no. Don't do it. You know the storm that will unleash! STRONG BAD: No! I think you'll like it! HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Edge of tears} Strong Bad, no! I can't handle it! STRONG BAD: Ta-daaah!! {Holds the Li'l Brudder drawing in front of his face} HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Breaks down crying} No-ho-hooo... Li'l Brudder! That little guy... He's got the heart of a champion! You can make it, Li'l Brudder! You just keep scrapin' along! {Falls to the ground and lies there, sobbing hysterically and kicking at the air} Li'l Brudder... I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE! I-I'm thinking of getting into male modeling - o-or maybe high finance... I JUST DON'T KNOW!! STRONG BAD: {as Li'l Brudder, shaking the drawing like a crude hand puppet} I'm gonna be all right, Homestar. I can make it on my own! HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} It's like I said - the heart of a champion! {Enter the Cheat, from audience's left.} THE CHEAT: {in Cheatese} Hrm, Smxrf Grabmff?? STRONG BAD: {Turns to The Cheat and does his Li'l Brudder act} Hey, The Cheat, I'm gonna be a quarterback when I grow up! I'm gonna throw for 2,000 yards! {The Cheat begins sobbing in Cheatese} Don't cry for me, The Cheatentina... {Enter Strong Sad, his eyes red around the edges and all watery, apparently trying NOT to cry.} STRONG SAD: Oh, Strong Bad, is Li'l Brudder named after me? Do you think of ME as a... one-legged puppy? STRONG BAD: No. I think of you as a two-legged elephant... named "Tenderfoot." {Holds up a picture of this, with "Tendafoot" saying "I'm tops!" Speaks as Tenderfoot/Strong Sad:} I could power a small city with my whining! STRONG SAD: {dejected} I probably COULD. HOMESTAR RUNNER: {still sobbing} Oh, Tenderfoot, can you tell me how to get the most out of life? {Cut to Compy 386. Strong Bad enters and sits down.} STRONG BAD: {typing} There ya go. Homestar crying. Not a problem. I bet all a ya'lls are prob'ly crying all over the place. That Li'l Brudder sure knows how to tug at your heartstrings. {begins to choke up as he speaks} He's just such a trooper. Got such a strong one leg. {recovers} Um, yeah. I think I've got a {hesitates} food in the oven. I gotta go. {Gets up and hurries out} {The Paper comes down} |