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Tue, 01 Jun 2004 01:23:35 . . . . Gemini

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{E-mail begins. Compy is there, but Strong Bad is not. Homestar Runner walks on and sits down at the computer.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hello, class. Strong Bad could not be here today. So I will be filling in. My name is Homestar Runner. {with a piece of chalk he writes his name on the screen, then erases it.} Everyone please take out paper and a number 2 pencil, and we'll begin. {Homestar types something rather random to run the e-mail program, and strangely enough, it works.} Lesson one:

{reading}

hi Strong Bad, {stops reading} Um, I do believe I just told you my name is Homestar Runner. But I'll let it slide this time. {continues}
have you ever made anything out of anything?
bye
Dan from FL

{typing} FL? Far-off Lands? Foreign Leadership Camp? Fish Lake? {stops typing} Oh, I got it. He's from Fish Lake. {resumes typing} Well, Jerome, I once made a birthday present for Marzipan out of some of my old CD's I didn't like anymore and placed them in a decorative bag. {stops typing} And then {resumes typing} I once made breakfast out of cold pizza and half and half. Oh! And one time I made a whole set of coasters out of {cut to some glasses of pink lemonade sitting on game cartridges} some old Sega tapes. And I made a pair of shoes {cut to Coach Z and Strong Sad out in the field talking. Strong Sad has a Foreign Leadership Camp '91 T-shirt on. Homestar walks on wearing shoe-boxes for shoes.} out of a pair of shoe-boxes.

COACH Z: Whoah, those are some fresh kicks there, Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, I know! {walks off}

COACH Z: So anyways, Reg had the ball at the top o the key.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {typing at Compy again} But this week, I will instruct you on how to make a wet computer out of Strong Bad's computer.

{The Cheat walks on in a red outfit, but is instantly knocked off-screen when Homestar stands up.}

First, you need a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. Then get Strong Bad's computer. Apply liberally. {starts pouring Mountain Dew on Strong Bad's keyboard, a ringing noise is heard.} Oops, we're out of time.

STRONG SAD: {offscreen} That's just my egg-timer!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Class dismissed! Except for you, Jerome!

{The paper comes down. The mountain dew continues to be poured into Strong Bad's keyboard. After around 10 seconds or so of this...}

Dang. This thing's like...the never-ending soda. {sings} Never-ending so-oda! A-a-a, a-a-a, a-a-a...