{We see Strong Bad in bed asleep, apprently dreaming}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Oh, yeah! Yeah! My autobiography? sure, but only if you give my $900! Heh, Heh! Oh, Ali, you lookin' so good!

{Wakes up}
Woah! I just got the greatest idea for a prank! I'll have to call The Cheat!

{Goes into another room and dials a phone}

Yeah, you got all that? Good! We strike tonight at 21:30 hours!

THE CHEAT: {over phone} Mahma rap anat? Sumganda roba?

STRONG BAD: {agitated} What? It's military time, stupid! It means 9:30 PM, okay?!

THE CHEAT: {over phone} Memay! {Hangs up phone}

STRONG BAD: Gosh, doesn't even know military time! Well, best get started!

{We see a the VCR with an alarm clock duct-taped to it. The clock reads: 8:13 AM. Shifts to 9:27 PM}

STRONG BAD: Well, it's time that we head on out. Hey weiner!

STRONG SAD: Yeah, have you come for my nightly pumbling?

STRONG BAD: No, I'll just skip that tonight. I came to tell you that if anybody calls me, or e-mails me, or comes to the house for me while I'm out, tell them that I'm busy "kicking the coffee pot".

STRONG SAD: What does that mean?

STRONG BAD: None of your business!

STRONG SAD: Oh, okay!

STRONG BAD: Well, we're out! Come on, Strong Mad.

{They leave}

{Strong Sad goes into his room and sits down at his game table. Homsar is at the other end of the table. They are apparently playing chess.}

HOMSAR: Hey, rhino, are you gonna slap my pawn, or am I gonna have to eat it on the moon?

{The telephone rings. Strong Sad answers it.}

BUBS: {over phone} Hello? I need to talk to Strong Bad.

STRONG SAD: This is Strong Sad. Strong Bad isn't here. He said he had to "kick the coffee pot", and I don't even know what that means. Do you?

BUBS: Oh, I see. Well, bye!

STRONG SAD: Wait, do you know what it mean-

{Bubs hangs up}

STRONG SAD: Homsar, do you ever feel like everybody knows something except you, and they're keeping it a secret?

HOMSAR: Yayah, all the places I go, I need a blanket on my big toe!

{Scene changes to outside Homestar Runner's house. Strong Bad and The Cheat are standing next to a wire ontop of his house. The Cheat is holding a wooden scythe. There are several cannons scattered around the house}

STRONG BAD: Okay, The Cheat, do it!

{THE CHEAT cuts the wire and all of the lights go off in Homestar Runner's house.}


HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow, all of my lights went out! Weyud!

STRONG BAD: Okay now,

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I'd bettuh get the candles!

STRONG BAD: Yes, Yes! Okay, The Cheat, phase 2!

THE CHEAT: Menah, Meh!

{The Cheat gets out an egg carton and sticks 3 M-80's in it. Then he climbs down onto the yard and throws it into (Homestars House)?. It hits a canle and lights all 3 M-60's. The Cheat climbs back up onto the roof and the M-60's explode, sending egg everywhere.}

STRONG BAD: Yes, yes! Internal egging!

{Strong Bad presses a button on a remote control and the cannons shoot out rolls of toilet paper and half-open containers of applesauce onto (Homestars House)?}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What was that? I'd better check it out.

{Homestar Runner walks out of his door onto a catapoult. The catapoult flings him into the air for several miles where he lands and slides down a tar-covered hill into a feather truck. Strong Mad is in the cab of the truck asleep and wakes up when he hears the noise.}

STRONG MAD: HIGGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Strong Mad drives the car at full throttle for several miles. Then he reaches the edge of a bay. He turns the truck toward the bay and jumps out. The truck falls into the lake with Homestar Runner still in it. Homestar drifts away and lands on a destert island}

{We see a diary-style book lying on a beach. The title is the below and it is written in a cross between Strong Sad's handwriting and cursive.}

Homestar Runner's Desert Island journal

{The wind blows the cover open to a page that says: This book belongs to: Homestar Runner. It is evident that the name was erased many times. The page then turns to the following, with varied intervals.}

Day 1

{All letters are the same size and the handwriting looks like the Sand font on Microsoft word.}

i A m t r a P t o n A d E s s E r t i l A n d . I h A s f o u n d a c o m p u t E r w i t H a i Q t E s t o n i t . I m A d E a 6 2 ! I m s o h A p y !


Day 6

{Letters are correct sizes and same handwriting}

I f o u n d A p A c h o f c o c o n u t s o n t h E i l A n d . T H E c o c o n u t s f E l l o n m y h E A d . N o w m y H E A d i s f l A t w i t H s m A l b u m p s . I t o o k t h E I Q t E s t A g A i n . I g o t A 6 9 ! I ' m s o H A p p y !

Day 13

{Same handwriting}

I f o u n d a r e a l l y s l i p p p e r y a r e a o n t h e i l a n d. I s l i p p e d a n d s l i d i n t o a r e a l l y s m a l l h o l e i n t h e r o c k s t h a t m y h e a d c o u l d b e a r l y f i t t h r o u g h. N o w m y h e a d i s r e a l y t h i n , b u t I d o n t h a v a n u n d e r b i t e. I t o o k t h e I Q t e s t a g a i n. I g o t a 73! I'm s o h a p p y!

Day 25

{Same handwriting}

Today a candy ship crashed near the iland. I ate all of the candy, and now I'm almost as fat as The King of Town after Thanxgiving. I took the IQ test again. I got a 75! I'm so happy!

Day 136

{Handwriting is a lot less sloppy}

I haven't had any thing to eat for nearly 4 mons! I am now skinny again, and I can pronouns "R"'s. I took the IQ test again. I got a 81. I'm so happy!

Day 190

{Handwriting looks like Strong Sad's}
Last night I got struck by lightning. It caught my clothes on fire. I tried to put the fire out, but after I did, my clothes had already been reduced to ashes. All I have now is a red dicky(A fake turtle neck worn under sweaters). I'm going to try to make some clothes out of coconut fibers. I'm going to wear some pants from now on. I am now blue and my arms are visible. I took the IQ test again. I got a 139! I'm so happy!

Day 215

{Handwriting looks the same as title}

I have figured out how to get off of this island and back to Free Country, USA. My toenails have been growing into claws, which I can use to hook myself to the sea bottom. I have already constructed a SCUBA, so I won't be needing to come up for breath. The current is so strong here, I will have to use my propeller cap to, well, propell! I am finally, after 7 months, going home! I'm so happy!

So far Homestar:

{We see Homestar walking along the bottom of the sea. He is wearing kakai pants and a blue shirt with a his red dickie and has SCUBA gear on. He appears to be struggling against the current}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: just a little... bit... more...

{He crawls up to the surface}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Phew! Now to find Free Country, USA.

{He walks up to the field where The Stick was. In The Stick's place is a hole in the ground}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm, I could have sworn this is where The Stick was.

{Coach Z walks up wearing a sombrero. He doesn't recognize Homestar.}

COACH Z:{Has a less thick accent and doesn't overpronouce "R"'s.} Hey stranger. Did you just wander into town?

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{thinking} if I tell him I'm Homestar, he'll label me as an idiot and start treating me like the old Homestar. But I am not the old Homestar! I'm a new person! {speaking} Um, yeah, I've heard of this place. Could you show me where Strong Bad is?

COACH Z: Oh, yeah I'll show ya.

{They both walk up to a big fortress. The Big Ol' Tree is rooted on one of the walls}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is this where Strong Bad lives?

COACH Z: Um, yeah I guess you could say that!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, how do we get in? It seem well guarded

COACH Z: {To Homesar Runner} Ah, don't worry {Calling to the Big ol' Tree} It's me, Zeta! I have a guest that is here on my invantation!

THE BIG OL' TREE: Ganash!

{The Big Ol' Tree puts in the combonation for five combonation locks and sticks his fingers into five padlocks. The gate swings open and both Homestar Runner and "Zeta" walk in, Homestar looks suspicious}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: weird. {He looks around.} What kind of "house" is this?

"ZETA": The house of a paranoid person.

{We see Senor, Mr. Bland, and The Robot training in the background. They are all lifting purple balls of varying sizes. Mr. Bland' weight says: "40 Grapes: 1/5 Ton". Senor's weight says: "42 Grapes: 21/100 Ton". The Robot's weight says: "100 Grapes: 1/2 Ton". All three are struggling.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What are they doing?

ZETA: They're working out, of course! Now I need to introduce you to Strong Bad.

{They both walk up to a barred door. Zeta pounds on it.}

ZETA: Strong Bad. . . HEY STRONG BAD!!!

STRONG BAD: What is it?

ZETA: I've got someone for you to meet!

{The door swings open. We see Strong Bad in the doorway, just as muscular as he always imagined himself as being.}

STRONG BAD: Who the crap are you, BlueShirt?

HOMESTAR: I'm Home- I mean, I'm . . .Nosivoi . . .Imsi.

STRONG BAD: Weird name. So, what do you want?

HOMESTAR: I lived on an island until about 3 days ago some underbite thing with a beanie cap, apparently named "Homesar Runner", washed up on the beach. I was able to scan through all of his memories and decided to come here.

STRONG BAD: If you read his mind, didn't you get sick?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, yes! Very much so! Unfortunately, he only had memories of Free Country, USA from about 7 months ago. I'm curious as to what has happened.

STRONG BAD: {To "Nosivoi Imsi"} Well, a lot has happened. It's gonna take a while to explain. So, in the mean time, {Calling} The Cheat!

{The Cheat arrives. He looks like a cross between The Sneak and a flying squirel, only without the fangs and his tail is shorter.}

THE CHEAT: {In fluent English} Reporting for duty!

STRONG BAD: Go get a couple o' Cold Ones

THE CHEAT: Yessir!

{The Cheat zips off}

NOSIVOI IMSI: So, what excactly is a Cold One?

STRONG BAD: It's the juice from sassafrass roots that have been stuffed in an unwashed pickle jar for several days. Anyways, I guess it all began when . . .

{Traditional flashback music plays in background and the scene begins to wave. Then, just as the flashback is about to start, The Cheat walks in with a tray of 3 cold ones and the flashback cuts off.}

THE CHEAT: Here are those Cold Ones.

STRONG BAD AND NSOIVOI IMSI: Thanks, The Cheat!

STRONG BAD: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah! It all began when . . .{The flashback starts over}

STRONG BAD: {As Narrator} I was working out one day, {We see Strong Bad lifting weights. He looks as muscular as he has always imagined himself.} about a week after I had gotten rid of Dumbstar, when The Cheat came up. {The Cheat walks up to Strong Bad, looking the same as above}

THE CHEAT: {In fluent English} Hey, Strong Bad, I-

STRONG BAD: {As character}Whoah, The Cheat! You can talk, and, you shaved!

THE CHEAT: Yeah, I've been visiting a speech therapist for the past few weeks, but that's not important. What is important is that we see what's happening to the King of Town!

STRONG BAD(C): Okay, let's go! Come on, Strong Mad!

STRONG MAD: COMING!!!!!

{Cut to a scene inside Strong Sad's room. Strong Sad is playing chess with Homsar. Strong Bad walks in.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, um, Strong Sad? Yeah, um, I'm sorry. For everyting I've done since, well, The Strongest Man in the World Contest.

STRONG SAD: Do you really mean that?

STRONG BAD: Um, yeah. So, do you want to come watch the King of Town?

STRONG SAD: Nah, I'm kind of busy.

STRONG BAD: Oh, playing chess again?

STRONG SAD: Nope, still playing.

STRONG BAD: What?!! You mean you've been playing the same game for a week, with Homsar??!!!

HOMSAR: Hey, Reggie, would you like to join? My rook is just about to eat his head!

STRONG BAD: Look, this is way too weird for me. I'm gonna watch The King of Town.

{Cut to a scene outside The King of Town's house. Strong Mad, Strong Bad, and The Cheat are all hiding in the bushes. Suddenly, King of Town noises are heard from inside the castle, and a wall falls apart, revealing The King of Town standing in front of a very large table with the Chef.}

THE KING OF TOWN: More food! Meeeooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr foooohoooohooooohooood!

CHEFFY: But, Sire, you've alleady eaten all of the food in the pantly! It'll take a while for me to make more!

THE KING OF TOWN: I neeeeed meeooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr now!!!

{The King of Town eats his own crown, his robe, and his body. He then eats all of the hair off of his head. Then he eats the Bishop, the Knight, and the blacksmith's furnace. Then he runs outside and runs toward The Poopsmith shoveling some you-know-what. He lunges at The Poopsmith, then a sign appears saying "scene missing" for a few seconds and then we see The Poopsmith,what's left of The King of Town, but no you-know what. The Poopsmith is vomiting in a bag.}

STRONG BAD(N): And that's saying something, getting The Poopsmith grossed out.

THE KING OF TOWN: Meeeeoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr!

CHEFFY: Sire, there is no more! You ate evelything and evelyone alound us!

{The King of Town turns into a black hole. The Little Chef Dude gets out a giant tennis racket and knocks him away.}

THE POOPSMITH: Horray! Now I'm free! Come on, Blacksmith, let's party!

THE BLACKSMITH:''' Okay!

{Cut to a scene with Bubs at his concession stand. He sees The King of Town fly over.}

BUBS: Woah! I'd better be ready just in case something like that happens again!

{Bubs gets out a book entitled: How to Build Weapons and starts reading. Coach Z walks up.}

COACH Z: Oh, geez. Bubsy, did you see that thing?

BUBS: Yeah! I wonder what it was.

COACH Z: Me too. What should we do?

{Cut to a scene in Strong Badia. Strong Bad is leaning against the fence. Marzipan walks up}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, did you see that thing?

STRONG BAD: Um, yeah!

MARZIPAN: I now realize that sometimes we need a millatary for our own defense. I also realize how naive I've been.

STRONG BAD: Um, okay, {Under his breath} that was random. {Out loud} Um, bye!

{Strong Bad runs off. Cut to what's left of The King of Town's castle. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are rumagging through the ruins. The Cheat pulls out a bottle of some pink substance.}

THE CHEAT: Look what I've found!

STRONG BAD: Give me that. {He reads the label} Whoa! This stuff grants immortality! Let's all take a big swallow!

{Homsar walks up.}

HOMSAR: Man, taking the Rhino's check-per-mate sure is exhausting! I'm the Atacama desert! {He spots the potion in Strong Bad's hand} A fountain! I'm now going to be Calcutta, India!

{He drinks every drop of the potion. He flashes and then grows arms. Strong Bad stands there, to surprised to speak.}

STRONG BAD: My, my, m-m-my, b-b-b-bot-t-t-tle. M-m-m-my i-i-muh-muh-muh-or-or-or-t-t-t-t--tal-it-t-ty.

{After a few seconds, his expression turns to anger.}

STRONG BAD: I'll get you Hoooooomsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

{He runs up to Homsar with a lit bomb in his hand. He shoves it down Homsar's throat and it blows up, leaving Homsar injured but still alive.}

THE CHEAT: Don't bother, Strong Bad. We could do horrible things to him all day and nothing would happen. In fact, we could put him in an Iron Maiden and then throw that into a lake of pirrhanas and nothing would happen. Let's go home.

STRONG BAD: Oh, okay, fine! Wait a minute, did he just say that he beat Strong Sad at chess? It's impossible to beat him at any game, even if you cheat!

THE CHEAT: Uh, duh! Strong Sad's like a game master! Let's go home.

STRONG BAD: But, I thought you were home. Don't you live in The King of Town's grill?

THE CHEAT: Not anymore. The Chef Guy sold it to some weirdo named "Senor Cardgage".

STRONG BAD: Did you just say "Senor Cardgage"?

THE CHEAT: Yeah, why?

STRONG BAD: Where did he go? Does he live around here??!

THE CHEAT: He lives in some two-bedroom job, like, right next door to where the castle once stood. I don't see why this is so import-

STRONG BAD: We gotta go find him!

{Strong Bad and The Cheat walk to Senor Cardgages house. They knock on the door and Senor Cardgage comes out, wearing a grey sweatshirt and blue jeans. Other than that, he looks excactly like Creepy Comb-Over Story Strong Bad.}

SENOR CARDGAGE: Hello, Sonny, long time no see, eh, Strong Mistnym?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, man you are as cool as ever!

SENOR CARDGAGE: {Pointing to The Cheat} what's that chesanvil-bat you got there?

THE CHEAT: What did you just call me?

STRONG BAD: Oh, this is our local the cheat, The Cheat. He's my lackey.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Oh, I see. {To The Cheat} Weren't you in that ketagrill I just bought?

THE CHEAT: Yes, I was. I used to live there. {Under his breath} man, this guy is cool!

STRONG BAD: {Under his breath} I told you!

THE CHEAT: Yeah, but you didn't say he was this cool!

SENOR CARDGAGE: So, did you se that meteostar?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, um, listen, I gotta go now, um, see you later.

SENOR CARDGAGE: Okay, see you around.

{Cut to a scene in front of StrongBadia. Strong Bad is standing on top of a fence. Everyone else is standing around StrongBadia. In StrongBadia, there are small patches were it looks like something was buried.}

STRONG BAD: Hello, peoples. Today, I shall show you StrongBadia's cutting-edge-of-the-future weapons technology!

CROWD: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STRONG BAD: Okay, so, my first peice shall be The StrongBadian smart mine! The Cheat? Please demonstrate.

THE CHEAT: Yessir.

{The Cheat walks over to one of the patches. he steps on it, then is electrocuted. A mechanical arm with a paintball gun at the end shoots out of the ground. It starts pelting The Cheat with paintballs. It continues to shoot him as he runs away.}

STRONG BAD: Now, paintball guns were used as a demonstration, but imagine if that had been a grenade launcher. Okay, next weapon, The Super Tank. I urge all of you to take an extra five steps back.

{The Super Tank comes from behind the Fence. Instead of a rotary gun, it has a mechanical arm with a paintball gun mounted on top. Strong Mad runs up carrying a giant Whack-A-Mole Game. He sets it down on the ground and The Super Tank loads itself. Strong Mad sets the game to "Super Fast" and all of the moles start shooting up faster than th eye can see. After one minute, the game stops and all of the moles come up. They all have a small spot of paint right on the nose.}

STRONG BAD: So, The Super Tank is super fast and super good at aiming. And best of all, it gets a bird's eye view of everything! Controlling it from about 100 feet up, Nebulon can tell excactly where to shoot!

MARZIPAN: That's all very nice, Strong Bad, but what if The Super Tank hits one of us?

STRONG BAD: Well, Marzipan, that just won't happen. Here let me demonstrate. For this, I need everyone to just wonder aimlessly around. The Super Tank will drive around among you and shoot supposed enemies. Ready, set, go!

{Everyone starts to walk around aimlessly. The Super Tank walks among them. After 10 minutes, the only things shot are: a cardboard cutout of a seven-headed red dragon with a crown on each head, a cutout of a seven headed lepoard with bear paws, and cutout of a goat with a snake's toungue and teeth.}

STRONG BAD: So, you see? It never shoots allies. So, who wants to live in the nation of StrongBadia?

CROWD: Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{We see a wooden post with The Stopsign bolted to it. It is supported by The CinderBlock The Stopsign reads: Popualtion: Tire, Bundt Cake Pan, CinderBlock, Stopsign, Homsar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzi Pan, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Johnny, Weilder, Chef Guy, Senor Cardgage. Next to this is the StrongBadian flag.}

STRONG BAD(N): And so, they all went home. After I was done fixing up the Smart Mine and The Super Tank, I went home, also. It was about 5:00 PM when I got home, so I sat and played video games for about 7 hours. At midnight, I decided to turn in. As I was going by Strong Sad's room, I saw something really weird.

{We see Strong Sad's room. Strong Bad walks by and stops. He comes in and see Strong Sad asleep on the game table. In his hand is a golden Rubix Cube. It has been solved.}

STRONG BAD: Wait, isn't that dad'd old puzzle that he got in Egypt? I thought it was supposed to be impossible to solve! Well, I guess I shoudn't doubt Strong Sad when it comes to games.

{Strong Bad walks out. We see a closer look at Strong Sad's face. He now has Eye of Horus eyes.}

STRONG BAD(N): It turned out that that puzzle had secret Egyptian magic that gave him a special gift: Really cool eyes! (thought I was going in a different direction than that, didn't you?) Yep, he had the coolest eyes around! So, anyway, the next morning, it was Monday, and therefore time to check my email.

{We see Strong Bad sitting at his Compy 386.}

STRONG BAD: I got the email once, I got the email twice, I got the email over pilaf rice!

{He types in: "Stong Bad_emial.exr". The "File not found" screen comes up.}

STRONG BAD: Huh? That's only happened once.

{He types it in again. The email comes up.}

STRONG BAD: Huh? That's only happened once- Oh, wait! That's an email. That's happened more that once. Over 100 times, if I remember correctly.

Dear Strong Bad,

Please respond to this email in the most random way ever

Sincerely,
James from Canton, GA {Strong Bad reads it "James from Canton, Gina".}

STRONG BAD: Um... Play the dijery-doo? Of course I play the dijery-doo. Hupabuba-Hup!

{As he says this, he does a backflip. He backflips all the way down the stairs into the basement. Dijjery-Doo is sitting on the couch.}

STRONG BAD(N): I actually didn't expect Dijjery-Doo to be down there, but since he was, I pretended I knew he was down there the whole time.

STRONG BAD(C): Um, lets see here, well, first you grab its ears and pull hard.

{He does so, causing Dijjery-Doo to let out a low, reverberating buzz that sounds like it's coming from a very large fly. (This, by the way, is the sound that an actual dijery-doo makes.) He begins to make the tune of the "techno" song.}

STRONG BAD: The system, is down. The system, is down. The system, is down.

{We see The Cheat in traditional Aboriginal clothes, swinging a boomerang in one hand and fanning a fire with the other.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, is grounded! We had that lightswitch installed so you-

THE CHEAT: {Cutting him off} What are you talking about?

STRONG BAD: Um, never mind. Er... you're still grounded for messing with fire. What, are you trying to burn the house down, or something?

{Strong Bad leaves. The Cheat climbs on to the sofa.}

DIJJERY-DOO:{In a regular voice} What was that all about?

THE CHEAT: He was probably answering his emails. That's a rather interesting voice.

DIJJERY-DOO: It's used for communicating over long distances or to scare enemies.

{We see Strong Bad "punk-REER"ing around the house. He eventually gets outside, and continues doing it all the way to The Stick. There, PomPom is looking around, as if to make sure no one's around. He doesn't notice Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {To himself} Ooh, PomPom is out here all alone, as if he's hiding something. I wonder what he has?

{PomPom puffs up and Trivia Time pops out of his chest, does three backflips, and then bounces off of the stick and lands on the ground. Strong Bad runs up to them.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, PomPom! You've got a dog in your chest! Let's see what else is in there! May I?

{PomPom just stands there, staring in bewilderment at Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Not talking, eh? I'll just have a peek.

{He stuffs his head into PomPom's chest, then pulls his whole body in.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, this is weird! PomPom, you're all, puffy, and full of spongy stuff.

{PomPom has had enough. He Puffs up and blows Strong Bad out. He then bounces away, full of bewilderment. Trivia Time follows.}

STRONG BAD: What's that guy's problem?

{Mr. Bland, Senor, and The Robot all walk up.}

SENOR: Hey, Strong Bad, remember us?

STRONG BAD: Um, yeah! You're the guys who entered The Strongest Man in the World Contest.

MR. BLAND: That's right. We would like to become citizens of StrongBadia.

THE ROBOT: Affirmative. we would like to come into this country, as it has the best defense system for 117.25400 sqare miles.

STRONG BAD: Okay, I'll let you become citizens. But first, you have to register. The registration fee is 40 gold coins each.

MR. BLAND: Aw, shucks! None of us have that kind of money. I guess we won't be able to get in.

THE ROBOT: Don't worry. I have enough money for all of us.

{The Robot opens up a drawer in his chest and pulls out a huge bag full of gold coins. He gives them to Strong Bad.}

THE ROBOT: Will this be enough?

STRONG BAD: Sure!

SENOR: Thanks, The Robot. You always come through for us.

{The three walk away. Homeschool Winner walks up. He has arms}

HOMESCHOOL: Hello, sir. I would like to enter StrongBadia. I believe the fee is in order.

{Homeschool hands Strong Bad a sack of gold coins.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's enough.

HOMESCHOOL: Okay! I'll just be moving on, then.

{He leaves. Strong Bad begins staring at The Stick.}

STRONG BAD: You know, this stick could become a weapon of mass destruction, with a little help.

'{We see Strong Bad walking up to Bubs's consession stand. He is carrying a wagon with The Stick in it.}

STRONG BAD: Hello, Bubs. I will have 500 pounds of your finest fertilizer.

BUBS: Coming right up, your majesty! That'll be 500 dollars.

{Cut to a scene next to Strong Bad's house. The roof of Strong Bad's house is lined with bags of manure. One of the bags has The Stick sticking out of it. Strong Bad is around back with Strong Mad, next to the shore of a lake. There are about five bags of manure next to them.}

STRONG BAD: Well, that's all we'll need. Just dump the rest into the lake, Strong Mad.

STRONG MAD: CANDO!

{We see a sign that says 4 weeks later,. After That, we see Strong Bad's house. The Big Ol' Tree is growing on the front part of the roof. We then see the lake, which is covered with a 6-inch thick layer of algae.}

STRONG BAD(N): So, then, we spent about two months building an underground fallout that connected all of the houses, and that's about it. All of the important stuff, anyway.

{The flashback stops.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We should turn in. It's about 11:30.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, okay. Your bed will be in Homeschool's house. Just go into the basement, then into the fallout shelter, then follow the signs.

NOSIVOI: Okay.

{He arrives at Homeschool's house. As he is going to bed, Homeschool walks in.}

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, hello, Homestar. Long time, no see, eh?


NOSIVOI: How did you know it was me?

HOMESCHOOL: It's something about your eyes. And your beanie cap.

{We see outside of Homeschool's house. It looks like a blue mushroom. The scene fades to black and we see the words The Next Day. We see Homeschool sleeping in his bed and Homestar, no longer blue, sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. Homestar wakes up.}

Homestar Runner|NOSIVOI: Hey, Homeschool! It's {Pauses to check watch} 7:30. Do you feel like getting up?

HOMESCHOOL: Yes. I'm hungry. I feel like having eggs over easy, grits, and bacon.

{Homeschool begins to walk away}

NOSIVOI: Okay. I'll go make some.

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, that's not necissary. We'll just go to The Brothers Strong's house. They always have a myriad of foods and they don't mind sharing.

NOSIVOI: Okay. I really don't feel like cooking anyway.

{Cut to a scene inside The Brothers Strong's House. There is a long table. Strong Bad is sitting at the head, Strong Mad is sitting on his right and his shoulders (the place above his face) are more rounded. Across from him is The Cheat and next to The Cheat is Strong Sad. Strong Sad still has the creepy eyes and is skinnier. his head is the same color as Strong Mad and his torso is the same color. Homeschool and Homestar sit down at the table.}

{Homestar looks at a large plate with three strips of bacon on it. Strong Mad grabs all three strips and puts them on his plate.}

NOSIVOI: I say there, good Strong Mad, there is no more bacon. Will you get me some more?

STRONG MAD: OH, OKAY {Calling} HEY FRENCHY!

{The Chef sticks his head through the door.}

CHEFFY:{agitated} I'm not Flench, you idiot! I'm- just- just look at my eyes! What do my eyes remind you of?

STRONG MAD: UM, SQUINTING?

CHEFFY:{Even more agitated} No! I'll give you another hint: It lhymes with "Ping Pong".

STRONG MAD: UM... KING KONG?

CHEFFY:{Outraged} I'm from Hong Kong, you moron, Hong Kong!

STRONG MAD: OH, OKAY, CREME FILLING. GET US SOME MORE BACON.

CHEFFY:{Makes a growling noise, then muttering} Gosh! And to think that I'm cooking bacon for this mokery of mankind when I could be playing Go with Chairman Mao. This is humiliating!

NOSIVOI:{To himself} Okay, I see that Strong Mad hasn't gotten any smarter since I left.

{The scene transites (is that how you say it?) and the table is empty.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, that was great! Now let's go watch a tape I made. I call it: "Homestar's 'finest' Moments".

{We see them all on the couch. In front of the couch is a TV with a VCR with an alarm clock duct-taped to it on top of it. Strong Bad puts in a cassette. We see the scene from the yello dello where Homestar is pecked on the head, the scene from marshmallow's last stand where he is beat up, the scene from "your friends" involving him, only continued so we see Homestar actually dipping his head in the lava, the scene from army where he issues retreat, and the scene from car where he is punched. Then, "Puppet Time" starts to play and The Cheat gets nervous. We see a scene between Homestar stealing the guitar and Homestar with the Atari where The Cheat steals the computer moniter and picks up the keyboard. After it's over, Strong Bad pauses the tape and looks at The Cheat.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, I thought you told me that that stuff was in a flying saucer you shot down with your bazooka and you didn't know whose it was! {He restarts the tape.} Oh, well. {He looks at the screen.} Oh, and this is the one where Homestar drank, like, seven bottles of soy sauce!

{We see Homestar standing on top of Bubs's consession stand. There are some empty bottles of soy sauce on the ground and Bubs has a sign on his Consession Stand that says: Bubs Did NOT plan this. Homestar takes off his shirt and starts doing the dance he did in his character tape.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Buttdance, Buttdance!

STRONG BAD: And how about that time Homestar drank a whole bottle of Tabasco Sauce?

{We see Homestar guzzling down the Tabasco. Strong Bad walks up to him.}

STRONG BAD: {Snickers} So, how was that-{Snickers}-ketchup I gave you Homestar? {Snickers}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That didn't taste like ketchup! {Suddenly, Homestar's face turns red and his eyes start to water.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, you're not looking so good, Homestar! {Snickers}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, is it me, or are things getting really hot around here?

STRONG BAD: {Snickers} Oh, that's just you. {Snickers} Oh, and any voices you hear in your head, that's just you too. {Snickers}

{Suddenly, Homestar's head goes back to white and his eyes stop watering.}

STRONG BAD: What?! I can't beleive that stuff didn't work!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey Strong Bad.

{Strong Bad walks off dissapointed.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man, I can't beleive Bubs ripped me off like that.

{Suddenly, we hear an explosion. Strong Bad turns around and sees Homestar. His head looks like a used match and he is panting loudly.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, yes! That's great! {Busts out laughing}

{The tape stops.}

STRONG BAD: Good times, good times!

{We hear somone knocking on the door. Strong Bad walks up on to the roof and looks down. We see a short man in tattered clothes with no hair.}

MAN: Alright, thine peice of trash, thy hath 3 days to joineth our army before thy castle is stormed!

STRONG BAD: Shut up! Go tell whoever sent you that they can kiss my butt! You'd better go before you get fed to my tree!

MAN: Oh, he has disrespected the master! We shall seeth if he's laughing when our master cometh! Hee Hee Hee!

{The little man disspears}

STRONG BAD: What in the-

{The little man reappears.}

MAN: Oh, and if thy want to tradeth in that wrestling mask for some chain mail, we're meeting down in the forest in 3.75 degrees!

{He runs off}

STRONG BAD: I'm not wearing a friggin' wrestling mask, you moron! Gosh, this definetly deserves some further reconassannce! {Calling} The Cheat!

{The Cheat arrives wearing his Firebert suit, only the design on it is that of forest cameo}

THE CHEAT: Here I am.

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, I need you to-

THE CHEAT: {Cutting him off sarcasticly} Who is this suvillian named "The Cheat"?

STRONG BAD: Urgh, why do I have to call you that? It's not a good commando name!

THE CHEAT: Yes it is! They even used it in "Cheat Commandos"!

STRONG BAD: Oh, alright. I guess it wouldn't be stupid if it was used in "Cheat Commandos"

THE CHEAT: Although, I hate it that they don't use "The". I mean, I'm not just a cheat, I'm a the cheat.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that baffles me. So, alright, agent #00385120, Codename: Firebert, go see what the crap that shrimpy guy is doing in the forest in 3.75 degrees!

THE CHEAT: Yessir!

{The Cheat glides off of the top of the fortress and into the forest. He finds a camp with a knight and some peasents sitting around talking}

KNIGHT: Art thy sick and tired of having such pathetic living quarters?

PEASENTS: Yeah!

PEASENT:{sounding nervous} But, milord, aren't the living conditions the fault of thy and thine family, who forceth us to live in poor conditions with soil where no crops will grow and the land is continually plagued with locusts?

KNIGHT: Yes, but that is because we of the regal clan needeth the rich lands, and there are not enough fertile lands to go 'round. But I promise, this land art rich and proserous. Whatever is left,I promise shall go to thy peasents.

PEASENT:{sounding nervous} But milord, you said that when we invaded Potamia, which was overflowing with plentiful lands, but we peasents were confined to the most arid and plagued lands. I think that ye of the regal clan art too greedy and us peasents art suffering for it.

KNIGHT:{Angry} Alright mister, if thy art going to exaggerate like that, then take this!

{The Knight whisltes and a 30-foot dragon comes out of the bushes. He then burninates the peasent. The Knight then turns to the rest of the peasents.}

{NOTE: This was not the peasent who talked to Strong Bad.}

KNIGHT: Now, does anyone else dissagree with the division of the lands?

OTHER PEASENTS: No!!!

KNIGHT: Now, as I was saying... Oh, yeah! Are ye prepared to fighteth alonside ye knight, Qorton (that's me) and giveth ye 5 pounds of silver to ye MedivalPlasArmy if it cometh to that?

PEASENTS: Yeah!

QORTON: Then we striketh at dawn!

{They all go to sleep. The Cheat pokes his head out of the bushes and runs off. Cut to a scene where The Cheat is in Strong Bad's house, talking to Strong Bad.}

THE CHEAT: And then he said "we striketh at dawn!".

STRONG BAD: Eaurgh?! The shrimpy guy said we had three days! Well, I guess we'd better get ready. {He gets out an intercom} Attention, everyone! Some medivial people are invading tommorow! This is not a drill! Please, all head into the fallout!

{The next day, we see the army coming for the foretress. There are a bunch of mines in front of the foretress, and a bunch of Supertanks come up from behind. The battle begins. Shift to day 3. The Cheat is walking around in the forest, searching for food.}

THE CHEAT:{Singing} Searching for provisions, doot-do doo! Dried, salty-frozen, doot-do doo! {He spots what appears to be a giant shriveled peach.} Whoa! A giant, shriveled peach! This'll do great! We don't even have to dehydrate it!

{He picks up the peach and walks away. After that, Qorton shows up in that same place.}

QORTON: Now where did Mulogg put that report on every member of our army? He said he hid it in a giant, shriveled peach!

{We see The Cheat walking along, carrying the "peach". Suddenly, the peach grows a head and some legs. apparently it's really a large orange ferret!}

THE CHEAT: Holy crap! What the heck is that?!

FERRET:{In thecheat-like speak} Hello! I'm Krinda of the Stairgnu clan!

THE CHEAT:{weirded-out!} ARRGH!!! Predator! Predator!

KRINDA:{In thecheat-like speak} Don't be scared. I'm not going to eat you. Just take me back to your base. I have some information that your leader might find helpful. {Pulls out scroll.}

THE CHEAT: Okay.

{They enter the castle and The Cheat shows the scroll to Strong Bad. Strong Bad reads over it.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, The Cheat! I want you to make a powerpoint out of this. it'd better be good! I want it by tommorrow!

THE CHEAT: Yessir!

{Cut to the next day. Everyone is gathering around to watch the powerpoint. It is animated thecheat-stlye. Strong Bad is up front. A picture of a peasent pops up.}

STRONG BAD:{As he talks, what he says appears on the screen.} Okay, so, peasents are bad at hand-to-hand combat, and the only equipment they have is a simple dagger and leather armor. Next, knights. {The slide changes} these guys have steel chain-mail armor. They also have a steel sword and a silver shield. Next, archers. {The slide changes} These guys have arrows, but no armor. They appear to be elves. Finnaly, there are dragons. {The slide changes to show a dragon like Strong Sad's} Some of them are small and can fly, some are big and can't. all of them can breath and/or spit at least one of the three: fire, ice, and acid. Fortunantly, these haven't appearred yet. If they did, we'd be up the creek not just without a paddle, but without a boat. The End.

{The scene changes night, to Qorton and the peasent that talked to Strong Bad.}

QORTON: So, Mulogg, are the dragons on their way?

MULOGG: Yes, my precious!

QORTON: Stop calling me that! When should they be here?

MULOGG: Around 6:00 AM tommorow, my precious!

QORTON:{sighs}

{Cut to: 6:00 AM, battlefield. The dragons arrive.}

{Time lapse. 9:00 AM, battlefield. Half of Strong Bad's machines are destroyed. The dragons are reaching the fortress.}

{Cut to: Inside fortress. Strong Bad is pacing.}

STRONG BAD:{rushed} Gotta think! Gotta think! Gotta pace and think! Gottapacearoundandthinkatthesametime! Whattodowhattodowhattodo! {He gets an idea} Eureka!

{Cut to: Marzipans house. Strong Bad is with Marzipan.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Marzipan, do you remember that time at that party...

{Flashback. Strong Bad is in Marzipans backyard, there is a party going on. Strong Bad eats a potatoe chip. He suddenly spits it out.}

STRONG BAD: Ew, tofu?! {Eats some salsa and spits it out} Blech! What, is everything here tofu?! Ah, well. I'll just have some salt.

{He sprinkles salt into his hand and begins eating it. Enter Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: Hey Strong Bad, could you dial this number? {hands him a slip of paper.} I was expecting them to come to my party.

STRONG BAD: Um, okay. {She leaves. He dials the number.} Hello? Listen, Marzipan's having this party, and she wanted to know if you could- {Pause} Uh-huh, yeah, okay... Oh, that's okay. I'll tell her. Bye. {He hangs up.} Hey, Marzipan!

{Enter Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: Well, did they say they could come?

STRONG BAD: No. They're still trapped in that other dimension.

MARZIPAN: Well, I wasn't really getting my hopes up. You know, they used to be my friends.

{End flashback}

STRONG BAD: So, do you still have their number? I think that they could really help in the war. I mean, I'm pretty sure they're out.

MARZIPAN: Sure, I still have their number. Here it is. {She hands him an old slip of paper.} Well, I hope they make it.

STRONG BAD: Me, too.

{Cut to: The Brothers Strong's house. Strong Bad a number on his phone.}

STRONG BAD: So, do you think you can make it? {Pause} You can?! The whole Staignu clan? That's great! Bye!

{Cut to: battlefield. The Ungriats pop out of some bushes, in front of the MedevilPlasArmy.}

LEAD UNGRIAT: Okay, on my mark, ready, set, {They tear off their robes and bandages, revealing them to be big orange ferrets} Go! {The charge into battle}