E-mail me, and I'll probably answer you in a raspy voice!
Dear BDHM,
What have you done to be a criminal? Did you ever eat your hands?
BDHM(typed): whell, somneonme, I'be tried to get prostghetic hands form astroe. Its hard to typr with Bisuits fore handbs. I did'nt rty to eat my hands, butThe kjing of town did. jusdt an houre ago.
said: Well, someone, I've tried to get prosthetic hands from a store. It's hard to type with Biscuits for hands. I didn't try to eat my hands, but The King of Town did. Just an hour ago.
<cuts a flashback of the field, an hour ago, BDHM is walking to a store called "a store">
<KoT walks in, and stops in front of BDHM>
KoT: Dooh. Buscuit Dough.
<KoT eats BDHM's hands, while he is screaming, and the flashback immediately ends>
BDHM (said): But you didn't need to see it.
typed: but yuo dindty' neerd too se3 it.
Dear BDHM,
You still didn't tell me why you're a criminal
Dear Long Name,
You'e a mere reference. Delete this.