E-mail is SOOOO GOOOOD!
{Reading e-mail}
Dear So-and-so,
are you best friends with Cheerleader?
So-and-so: Of course! Cheerleader likes me! Watch this!
{Walks to a soccer field where Cheerleader is talking to a soccer player}
Cheerleader: So, you got any-
So-and-so: HEY, CHEERLEADER!!
Cheerleader: Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to hot guys! PUNT!
So-and-so: {flies across the sky then lands on a sidewalk} Wow, Cheerleader sure is moody today! At least I've still got you, Brett! Wait, Brett, where are you going? Why are you walking away? Come back!
{THE PAPER}


I got a date with e-mail!
{Reading e-mail}

Dear So-and-so,
Go parasailing with me.
JestersOfTheMoon

Dear Moonman,
Of course I'll go tandem parasailing with you, but only if you become my boyfriend! I've been desperate for a boy lately, you know, since I'm an N-E-R-D.
Whatsherface: No way, So-and-so! I get Sunguy! I need a guy more than you do!
So-and-so: Well, you are unpopular so...NO!
Whatsherface: Well, I know where his house is and I'm not telling you!
So-and-so: Oh, crap!
[5 minutes later]
{So-and-so is reading a science textbook and Whatsherface comes back into her house}
So-and-so: So, I see you got GuestureJupiterBoy?.
Whatsherface: Nope. He didn't want to go out with me. Or acknowledge that I was within 40 yards of him. But, I get Thomas!
So-and-so: No way, I-
{THE PAPER}

E-mail+e-mail=LOTS OF E-MAIL!
{reading "email"}
Dear my unwanted doppleganger, by the time this telegram gets to you, I'll be dead STOP.
So I am leaving part of my bonnet within this telegram STOP. Good-Bye STOP.
From (Who-and-Who)? STOP.
So-and-so: What is a doppleganger? Is it some kind of person who gets doppy then joins a gang? Hey, there's something else in this envelope! {pulls out bonnet} {sadly} Oh, a bonnet. Bonnets are SOOO out of style! And, why do you keep saying stop? Do you want me to stop doing something? Maybe to stop checking my email. Yeah. I'll go with that.
NEXT EMAIL'D!
{The Ugly One is sitting at the computer in So-and-so's place}
TUO: So-and-so could not be here today, so I am her substitute, The Ug-Cute One! The Cute One!
Cheerleader:{offscreen} Everyone knows your real name!
TUO: Oh, whatever.
Cheerleader:{offscreen} Stop trying to be cool!
TUO: Let's just see the email!
{reading email}
Dear So-and-so,
I think you should beat up The Ugly One. She is a big jerk who doesn't deserve to live!
From, Jhonka
TUO: Judging by what you typed, this Ugly One sounds really bad. I think she should get some consequences for it! She should-oh, wait. Aw, man!
Cheerleader:{offscreen}Stop trying to be cool!
Strong Bad:{as narrator} Is this the end for So-and-so answering emails? Find out! Next email email email!
{THE PAPER

---

Dear Double So,
You didn't hear it from me, but apparantly, Brett Bretterson was making out with an imaginary teen girl behind the bleachers after science class, Cindy Cindermann. Firstly, sorry to tell you. Secondly, now that you know that he is imaginar..uh..I mean BAD, you can stop speaking to him and stop weirding everyone out.
Signed,
Some popular jock who is NOT Strong Lad