Bob was happy working in the mayonnaise factory. He had a small cottage next to the factory that he went to at nine to wake up again at six. He had the job of putting the mayonnaise into the jars. One night he had a weird dream. In it he saw the factory, full of its magnificent glory. He wandered through the vaulted ceiling halls , yelling “hello, Hello?” only to here an echo. He walked into the boss’s room and saw a small vile of blue-green goop. He picked it up. He was about to take the top off when…

Ring ring ring ring! His alarm clock went off, waking him up. He got out of bed and got dressed and right about when he was to sit done and eat his normal breakfast of eggs and toast, a knock came to his door. It was a package from his Aunt Matilda. She had just gotten back from exploring Outer Mongolia and had bought him a small vile of blue-green goop. Seeing that if he did not start his breakfast soon, he slipped the vile into his pocket without a second thought and finished his breakfast,

Bob walked quickly up the will to make sure he was on time. All day it was the same thing. Scoop mayonnaises into jar, press lid on jar, clean jar, send it down. It was slow but fun work. Right before the last jar of the day had come, he remembered the vile. He opened it up and smelled it. “Weird smell” he thought. All of a sudden some body carrying a box-full of jars knocked into him. At this point, the last jar was in front of him. As he fell forward because of getting knocked into, he spilled the vile into the mayo jar. He hastily tried to cover the liquid up with putting mayonnaise in it, but it turned blue-green. His eagle eyed boss caught this and yelled “ Bob Bobberson, My office at once!”

The boss stared down at Bob.
“ Bob Do you know what you dropped into that jar?” asked Gearg (gee-ar-guh) Brennersteen, the boss.
“N-n-no sir” said Bob.“What you dropped into the jar was a potion to make inanimate objects live, or to make an older person live longer. Trust me, I have been taking it for years. Usually the inanimate object speaks in enigmatic phrases. It also uses whaaas and aaaaaaaahhhhs a lot, usually when they have a loss for words.” Said Gearg.
“Erm, do I get to keep my job?” asked Bob.
“No! Of course not. Do you think I want a wailing mayonnaise monster running around my factory?”
“ No,” said a sad Bob
“You are hereby not allowed on the factory grounds from this day forth! Oh and by the way, you get to keep the jar. Hahaha hohoho ” laughed the boss, sending him out of the office.

Bob stopped only to get his things( which including the mayonnaise jar that had now grown an eye and the color was back to pure white) and he left.
When he got home, he looked around and decided to leave. He decided that there was nothing left for him, so e packed up his things and decided to move to Appletown, a city whose main exports were peaches.
The road was a long and winding one but he finally got there

Bob finally reached Appletown. It was a big city, known for its big ceramic apple that everybody knew as The Big Apple in the town square. He sat down under a very large peach tree and thought and thought and thought. He then realized another mayonnaise factory was going to be built in his old town! He jumped up, and when he did that, the jar of mayonnaise fell out of his pack and onto the soft grass. Bob started back towards his hometown, happy for the thought of working in a mayonnaise factory again.

By this time, the mayonnaise had grown another eye and an under bite, so it resembled a face. It stayed there for a long time, through rain and sun, in winter and summer. It just stood there under the tree. Waiting and wondering why the other shapes were moving around. The top of the jar had rusted and was now brittle.

One day in early spring, Tree huggers from neighboring cities came to hug trees on there Give a tree a hug tour 1987. The living mayonnaise loved this occupation of hugging trees, and wanted so much to hug a tree. A couple months later he had his chance. A storm had blown in with fast winds. And then, as if it had a target painted on it, a peach fell out of the tree, falling onto the jar. The jar smashed and The Living mayonnaise was free! He had grown a body and legs while in the jar. He wanted to make his dream come true. He wrapped his invisible arms around the tree and hung on for a couple of hours.

Soon the storm was over, but The Living mayonnaise was still hugging the tree. On his after-the-storm walk, Tubbs, a peach farmer, found the Living Mayonnaise hugging onto one of his peach trees. He said calmly “Oh Mister Tree-Hugger, please come with me. You need some clothes and a home. I have both.” The Living Mayonnaise let go of the tree and followed him home.

When the got there, Tubbs’ dog Homsar ran up to the living mayonnaise “Sit down Homsar,” he said, and the Living Mayonnaise sat down too. “I was wondering what to call you, but I guess you like Homsar so that is your new name.” Mrs. Tubbs rushed in and made some chicken soup. She Sat him down on the couch and let him watch anything he wanted. He choose the Jeffersons.” Eggabedeff`(iga-bed-iff) he yelled, showing some musical knowledge.” I will make you some clothes” sad Mrs. Tubbs.

She made him a blue shirt with the words HOMSAR on the front so he would not forget his name. “Something is not right” she said. Then she put a yellow bowler hat with an orange ribbon on his head “Perfect” she said. “Coldy feety’s he said, then wiggled his toes. “Oh shoes!” she exclaimed. Later she went down to a shoe store and bought him some red athletes shoes. He stayed home and watched Cheers.

Homsar lived in the Tubbs’ home for a while, not having to pay rent or anything until one day Tubbs said “ You need to get a job or else you can’t live here.” A depressed Homsar walked around looking for a sign for a job until he saw a banner that said

Reggie’s Circus/ Zoo, Help Wanted

An excited Homsar went and got a job as a performer in the freak show. He cleaned up the human cheese grater’s mess. On his first day home from work, he gave Mrs. Tubbs some candy. She sang in a loud voice “ If you give me a treat, make sure it is sweat, and I’ll eat it!” Homsar really liked that song.

Homsar worked there and became good friends with Reggie. Reggie had a pet rhinoceros. One day Homsar asked “Hey Reggie, is that rhinoceros around?” Reggie replied “ Yep. It needs a walk, Want to ride it around the pen?” Homsar replied “ Yeseri”
Homsar rode it around the pen and yelled, “ This is the thrill of a life time”.

it is not done yet but any comments so far?