the conductor's telegram list

1. ten-gallon
2. teaming up
3. quicksand
4. nightmares
5. helper
6. what the
7. cliffhanger

Dear the Condoctor, Why do you have a ten galon hat STOP.
What is a ten galon hat anyways STOP. I relly want to
know STOP.
From Andy, FX

TC: Shum... 'Ello. My wife got the craaaaaacker. I got a ten
gaaallon hat, 'member! Shlooop. Better get the doggiii.
heres my hat enclosed.

Dear The Conducter, I want your hat STOP.
How do you type without any hands STOP. I want your
hat STOP.
From Micheal, PP

TC: Aghh!!! Too questiiiions! Aaaaable to be teaming up on the little one!
Don't hurt meeeeeeeee, I can only be razooor! Don't steal Strong Glad's

Starting a beggiiiing quote is evil as fishing for goats.
Dear The Conductor, my question is have you ever gotten
or seen Quick-Sand STOP?
TC: Well, clicking sand isn't gon-
The Sneak: Whi! Whi!
TC: Here's some pen ink now get me some moneeeeeeeee!
The Sneak: ???
(The Sneak gets a pen and a cantolope and gives it to TC.)
TC: Hot Panorama! Dorecall. Doo. Caaaaal!
(Stabs a pen into the cantolope and makes a "The Gentlemen Caller" kind of face on it.)
TC: Dorecall, go make fun of The Guy at the Depot.

Today's telegram will be answered by me, Dorecall.
Dear The Conductor, I am 7 STOP. Don't hurt me STOP. You give me nightmares STOP.
I hate pou STOP.
DR: I'm glad. I am very glad. Well, I've made a new invention. It has the power
to take things from a rejected universe to here. Let's try, Eh, Alan?
(The Homeschool Winner, 1936 version of Homeschool appears. He is asleep.)
HW: ZZzz...
DR: Stay tuned, kids. This will be continued next telegram. Bye.
I hope you get nightmares, Alan.

Dorecall, you should be ashamed or be blamed!

Dear Dorecall, STOP
How do you manage the telagramophone whilst having an absence of arms? STOP
Lord Elsington Shopiomomomomomomomworth

TC: Yuh-oh! This one has the jump! Steamboat
Willie called me names...
My arms went away in the storm of the prickles,
Sopiolinglinsmomomo Ellie!
Your secret ego is muipohS!
HS: What am I doing here?
TC: Aaaaa! You snuck up on me! That's what Iiiiii do best!
Gullitine...Gollitune...Gallitune...Old Timey Sad Timey...
(Skips to a flash back with him as a kid in the gullotine factory)
TC:Why is the morning sneaking up on me?
I really have to go pee.
Nobody sings about the sun.
To the bathroom I must run!
(Goes inside bathroom. 30 seconds later, He comes out.)
TC: Curse my stubby little arms.
(He goes to school.)
SH: Grettings class, I'm your substitute teacher,
Lord Elsington Shopiomomomomomomomworth.
Today, we're going to the gullitine factory.
Does anyone know how to spell gullotine? I sure don't!
(Class stares at him.)
SH:That's right! Now let's go!
(They walk over to the gullotine factory.)
SH:Everyone make sure stay by me. Ecspecially you, The Helper.
(The Helper is the younger version of The Conductor.)
TH:Sure! Sure as water is pure!
(The Helper and a few other kids giggle.)
SH: Hey, kids watch this!
(Lord Elsington Shopiomomomomomomomworth
does a dance to Charleston Music.)
TH:Cool! Such a cool, frozen pool!
He's not crying, but I'll go fly-
(Shopi-I mean Lord Elsington Shopiomomomomomomomworth
"accidently" kicks him and The Helper goes flying.)
(He falls in the gullotine factory, and you hear a slicing noise.)
(Everyone runs to see The Helper. He's been cut in 3 pieces. His
left arm and right arm are cut off and he's also cut in the middle.)
CO: The Helper, I'm your conscience and you will live if it's
the last thing I doooooooooooo!
(The Helper becomes alive, but his arms are still cut off, though.)
CO:Woo-hoo! Who's The Conscience! Alright!
(Fades back to The Conductor, saying the story.)
TC:Then superman fought in the war. The batman army couldn't
withstand that though! Good night. My concience gave my arms back.
CO: Yes I did, I am a great help to one's that help. You know,
since I gave him my arms, they're invisible.

All your telegram are belong to us.

Holy shmoly, Pikachu can fly STOP! Guns and Roses are here and
now buddy STOP! I'm Klipper, the friggin' killer whale STOP.
Better get a bowler, I hear they're illegal STOP. The Washington
Gallery is hole can vole mole sauce fried STOP. Sure beats giving
me applesauce STOP. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Plaaaaaa, The Conductor.

TC:A clone is in the midst. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Iiiii.
Uuuuuuuuuuu. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ooooooooooooooo. And sometimes
HS: Well, why am I here?
TC: Oh my gosh, it's The Homeschool! You know what that means!
HS: What in tarnation are you talking about? I'm The Homeschool
Winner, okay?
TC: What a weakling! You think you can face me but you're wrong!
HS: Homsar? Is that you?
TC: Kah-mey-ha-mey-haaaaaaaaa!
(blasts The Homeschool Winner, putting him in submission.)
HS: Hyper mode! Cryst of hearts!
(makes a blast and attacks The Conductor.)
TC: Wait. How are we caculating the Jeffersons?
(Stinkoman flies by saying, 20X6!)
??:I guess it's gonna be a to be continued.
??: Turn it around!
??: Sorry, man.

TC: 20X6. That's the end of The Conductor Telegrams. Stay tuned for more toons I'll do with The Conductor and The Homeschool Winner in 20X6. Season 2. Whatever. Also, ?? and ??'s lackeys will be reveiled.