Strong Bad : Oh, you thought there was no more emails but guess what there's an email!

{reading email}
Dear Strong Bad,
I want to start a new website but I don't have any ideas of what to do for my website. I was wondering if you could give me some ideas for my new website. This website will be cool and I'll email you when I'm done.

Sincerely Yours:
Website {He should have said "James"]

Strong Bad : {Typing] You know james, I've been around this great, big internet a few times, so I know what I'm talking about, and I can safely say, that whatever idea you have is completely unimportant as long as you adhere to these fundamentals:

{Hits Enter}

First of all, you want to start out with a long flash intro. {Stops typing} Like this one the cheat made for me.

{A black background appears on the screen with two green bean-shaped eyes}

Check it out, those are supposed to be my eyes, I think.

{The eyes fade and the letters "SB" appear. "Strong" and "Bad" are inside each letter}

that stands for my name.

{The "S" and "B" turn into "The Web" in cursive}

The web.

{"The Web" turns into "Welcomes 'u' '2'" with only letters going horizontally and vertically.}
{The words "strong bad's cybersite" appear red below "Welcomes 'u' '2'". A rainbow eyeball (possibly?) about 3/4 the size of the "2" comes and rolls in, stopping at the quotation mark before the "2"}

That little rainbow thing's kinda cool.

{The word "cybersite" turns into rainbow colors. The words exit and a blackhole-kinda thing appears.}

Oh, go through the tunnel, oh look out!

'' {As he says "Oh, look out!", a hand appears to punch you, and after it does, the word "OUCH!" appears above it. The words "Get on in!" appear in a long button.

Augh you got punched! Man, right in the face.

{typing} Okay, next on the checklist: LOTS of animated GIFS! {He pronounces it gifs instead of jifs} {stops typing}

or... jifs... however you say it. I don't know. I heard a couple of nerds arguing about it one time. But you want as many of those as possible. Especially the rotate-y kind. Those are awesome, man. Nobody gets tired of looking at those.

{typing} So, then you can pretty much just pick whatever for your subject. It doesn't really matter as long as you got the rest of that stuff on there. James, the internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that. {stops typing}

I mean, you can make a webpage of your cat.

{A picture of a cat lying on a football with red eye thinking "It's 4th and 10. Now WHERE'S MY SUPPER?!?" appears}

or your The Cheat.

{A picture of the cheat sleeping on a couch on its back on a couch thinking "It's 4th and 10. I hate cats."}

I mean,

{typing} Who knows? Maybe tomorrow you'll be really big in Pakistan. Or at least, with some guy named Stan. {Stops typing}

Anyways, I gotta go work on my webpage. {Strong Bad leaves and The Paper comes down.}
-Transcribed by Crap