Features: Strong Bad, Bubs, The Cheat

STRONG BAD: My name is not Email Sam. Ooh ahh. So please don't call me Email Sam. Ooh ahh.

Dear Strong Bad,
How long does it take to answer an e-mail? Can you show me the prosess? {read as "prosessessess"}

Em? What's that supposed to stand for? Emerson? Embrodak? Emtarkanderundersgunderson? Boy, you have some stupid and terrible names. Anyways... show you the process, eh, Em? Sure, I can do dat, but I should warn you, it may spoil the magic for some of you out there. I strongly urge both the faint of heart and the faint of butt to leave the room at this time.

So... usually I try to start things off with a little song that somehow involves the word email. {stops typing} You know, like "ram-a-bop-choop, email!" Or like, "Email, bu da ba doo dow!" Something like that. {resumes typing} Then I pull up the email I picked for this week and read it, pointing out any and all spelling or grammatical errors along the way. Then, after I make fun of your name, I begin to answer your email.

Generally, I like to start with, "Well, whoever, something something something." Or occasionally I switch it up with, "Something something, eh, whoever?" Next, as I'm typing, you can usually click on certain words and make little pictures of dumb stuff pop up.

{Cut away to The Field. Strong Bad walks in.}

Now we've reached the point where we cut away from the computer to some other scene. This is where some other character like Bubs or Coach Z gets a chance to shine. And if The Cheat's gonna make an appearance, this is usually where you'll see him.

{Bubs enters.}

BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad! What's going on?

STRONG BAD: Oh, I'm just showing the guys here how I go about answering my emails.

BUBS: Right on, right on. You gotten to the part where I tear off my shirt and start flexin', much to the delight of all my ladyfans?

STRONG BAD: Uhhh, no. That's never happened.

BUBS: What about the part where I ride out waterskiing on two discount alligators, much to the delight of all my ladyfans?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's never happened either.

{The Cheat walks in and puts some matches in Bubs' left foot.}

BUBS: Sounds like a pretty lame email show ya got here, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Whatever, man.

{The Cheat lights the matches, setting Bubs' foot on fire.}

BUBS: Ooh! Hot mama! {The Cheat puts a beehive on the ground, and Bubs's other foot lands in it} YEEOW! Hot bees!

{Back to Compy 386.}

STRONG BAD: Then we cut back to the computer, where I either wrap things up or wind things down, depending on how funny the last part was. And that's it, Em. That's how we do things around here. Now you can answer emails like a true Strong Bad. Then right before the paper comes down, I usually mutter something... under my breath... about some girl named Beth.

{The Paper comes down.}

STRONG BAD: Then sometimes, if you wait around for 10 or 15 seconds, something else happens.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean like me showing up to deliver a classic line?

STRONG BAD: No, I mean like me throwing a discount brick at you. {he throws it at Homestar, but Homestar ducks}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, discount brick.