Features: Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z

STRONG BAD: Doo doo doo doo doo... {like pizzicato strings} Email! doo doo doo doo doo...


Hey Strong Bad,
If you had both your hands removed at
the wrists and could not have them
replaced with prosthetic hands, what
2 things would you have them replaced

- Ryan

Lemme think for a second, Ryan. Ooh! Ooh! I got it!

{Cuts to The Field, with Strong Bad standing in the middle of it}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} One hand would have a bucket on it. {a bucket appears on his right hand} That way, I would always... have a bucket. You know, for like, dumping oatmeal on stuff {a turtle appears and he dumps some oatmeal from inside the bucket on it}, for washing The Cheat {water appears in the bucket, and The Cheat comes out of it with suds covering his head}, and like, dropping the occasional beat...

{Strong Bad starts dropping a beat with the bucket, and Coach Z appears with a microphone in his hand.}

COACH Z: These peoples tried to fade me!

{The beat ends and Coach Z disappears.}

STRONG BAD: And also, I could sit on it when I get tired {he puts his bucket-hand on the ground and sits on it}... sit right down on the bucket. And the other hand would definitely be a bullhorn. {a bullhorn appears on his left hand} That way, everyone could hear all the important stuff I gotta say.

{Strong Bad's voice-over ends, and the Strong Bad in the field speaks through the bullhorn-hand.}

STRONG BAD: I am still awesome. {pause} Seriously. Hey, Coach! I wasn't trying to fade you. That wasn't me. I don't know who those peoples were.

{Strong Bad gets off the bucket-hand and stands there in The Field for a second, and then it cuts back to Strong Bad at the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Now I know you were all expecting me to pick things like guitars and lazor guns... {stops typing} but I-- Aww, man! Why didn't I pick guitars and lazo guns? Bullhorn?! Pfft! Like having a bucket for a hand's gonna get me any chicks... What was I thinking?

{Strong Bad hangs his head in shame}

{The Paper descends}