Strong Bad: {singing} So innocent an email free.... That's you 'n me.

{Reading email} Hey, yo there Strong Bad! I was wondering why The Cheat is such a diligent lackey. Did you save his life one time and now he has to repay you?

Victoria, BC

{Typing} BC? Whoa! This is an old freakin' email. Most of the emails I get are ADs. And the occasional JD. Wow. I wonder if it was written on like, a stone tablet. Or maybe some, uh, papyrus. Anyhow...

No, Steve, The Cheat is a good lackey because he "knows what's best" and "doesn't want to get left by the side of the road during a thunderstorm" or "taped to PomPom again."

It probably also has to do with the fact that I "treat him like a brother that's not Strong Sad" instead of "a little yellow squeaky thing that somethetimes steals my ladytypes." I also pay him real nice. Which isn't very difficult considering The Cheat "thinks pencil shavings are legal tender." Check it out...

{Strong Bad sharpens a pencil}

Hey The Cheat!

The Cheat: {walks in} Meh!

Strong Bad: I'll pay you all these precious pencil shavings if you go pilfer me a cantaloupe from Marzipan's melon patch.

The Cheat: Mehneh! {runs out}

Strong Bad: {typing} Ahhhh, look at him go. So excited, so naive.

The Cheat: {runs back in with cantaloupe} Meh!

Strong Bad: Whoa, supa soivice! Thanks man. You can go back to whatever you were doin'.

The Cheat: {angry} Mehhhh!

Strong Bad: Oh, right. Your payment. Here ya go! {scrapes pencil shavings onto The Cheat's head}

The Cheat: Mehneh mehneh! {walks off}

Strong Bad: Awwww, that's almost adorable... Now, what am I gonna to do with all my tons of new stuff? A sharp pencil, and a can-ta-loo-pay. The possibilities are endless! I suppose I could use the pencil to draw a little guy on the cantaloupe. {mumbling while drawing} Ooh, and then if I jammed the cantaloupe on the end of the pencil... Hey everybody look! It's Rejects/Doregard|Doregard! How ya doin' Do?

Doregard: Hey there mister Strong Bad! Well I'm fine, past couple days though.

{Cut to Bubs concession stand with The Cheat}

Bubs: Your total comes out to fifteen tooty-two!

The Cheat: Meh! {passing pencil shavings}

Bubs: What's this malarkey?

The Cheat: Mehneh! {Points to a sign saying: "We'll Gladly Accept: Cash, Money, or Cash Money". "Pencil shavings" has been added at the bottom}

Bubs: Well, if it's on the sign! Nice doin business witchya!

{The Cheat walks off with his new "Boy's hobby kit"}

{Doregard shows up}

Doregard: Hey there Mr. Bubs. I'm from the collection agency. You missed your last payments. Gonna have to bust your kneecaps if ya don't pay up!

Bubs: Oh dag! You found me! {slams metal curtain, revealing "SB" graffiti}

The Paper

Strong Bad: Whoa! Forgot about that one! I mean...

Doregard: Sure is some niiice graffiti!