Strong Bad: {singing} Email: It’s like the sugar on the candy for my stuff.

{reading email}

Dear Strong Bad,

Could you please do your impression of Strong Sad?

Your friend… And there’s no name. Um… Thanks, Your friend… Jhonka. {He types “Jhonka” under “Your Friend”.}

{He begins typing a reply.}

No way, Jhonka! What a coincidence! I was just on my way out the door to go to the annual Strong Sad Lookalike Contest where contestants are judged on appearance, impression and penmanship. I’m a shoo-in this year, man. Wait’ll you see my costume!
{He runs off only to run back a few seconds later to quickly add}: Not beatin’ around the bush this week. {He runs off again.}

{Cut to The Field. Coach Z is standing under a sign that reads: “2003 Sectional Finals – STRONG SAD LOOKALIKE CONTEST”.}

Coach Z: Okay, I’d like to welcome everybody back! Hope you enjoyed your intermission there. Bubs, the hot cold cuts was great!

Bubs: {off screen} Those were moist towelettes!

Coach Z: So without further ado, I’d like to introduce the man of the hour, the deathly pallor: Strong Sad!!

{Strong Sad Joins Coach Z under the sign}

The King of Town off screen: Booo!

Strong Sad: Thank you! Thank you! I’m simultaneously honored and insulted to be involved in this contest for the fourth year in a row.

Coach Z: That’s enough there, Strong Sad! {He shoves Strong Sad out of the way.} Your work is done here. Let’s get this pratty started!!

{Cut to a view of Strong Bad in a Strong Sad costume, which consists of a grey “Phys Ed” sweatshirt, and a paper plate with Strong Sad’s face drawn on it. There’s a suspicious looking lump under the sweatshirt.}

Coach Z: Looking good there, Strong Bad.

Strong Bad: I know.

Coach Z: Nice use of light and shadow.

Strong Bad: I know.

Coach Z: …and picnic supplies.

Strong Bad: I know. Shut up.

Coach Z: Let’s hear what you got.

Strong Bad: Alright. Let me just push play on my “sweat shirt” here.

Strong Sad: {on a tape} Why do you want me to say “hello, my name is Strong Sad”? {tape noise} get that tape-recorder out of my face {more tape noise} stop flicking my ear!

Strong Bad: {also on tape} More like: You stop flicking my ear!

Strong Bad: {He stops the tape.} Ha ha. Oops.

Coach Z: Ok, then. Very unsuspicious.

Strong Bad: I know.

{Coach Z moves on to Homestar Runner. Homestar is wearing hippo slippers and a grey shirt with a star on it, and he has a sock taped to his head instead of his signature hat.}

Coach Z: Hey there, Homestar. Nice hippo slippers.

Homestar Runner: Thanks. They’re elephants.

Coach Z: Sure they are! Now let’s hear your impression.

Homestar Runner: Um.. remind me again what type stuff that guy says.

Coach Z: You know. Depressing type stuff!

Homestar Runner: Right right! Here goes! Ahem. {in a depressing voice} Oh... Some animal died. {In his normal voice} That’s something he’s always saying, right?

Coach Z: Yeah, I think I heard him say that a few times. Next contestant!

{The next contestant appears to be Strong Sad.}

Coach Z: Strong Sad, you’re not eligible for this competition! I though I told you’s to go on home!

{A familiar looking hat pops up on the Strong Sad lookalike’s head revealing that he is in fact, Homsar. His Strong Sad costume is flawless. Coach Z doesn’t realize who it is.}

'Homsar: {sadly} AaAaAaAa... I’m crying on the inside!

{The Cheat hops up in a paper bag, painted to look like Strong Sad’s left leg.}

Coach Z: Ok, The Chort, lay it on me!

The Cheat: {in a depressing voice} Meh meh. Mennah mennah mennah meh.

Coach Z: Holy Crap! It’s as if Strong Sad was still alive and with us today! First Prize!

The Cheat: Meh!

{Cut to Strong Bad’s computer. Strong Bad walks up muttering. He’s still in costume.}

Strong Bad: Stupid Friggin’ Cheat-in-a-Bag.

{He begins typing}

I can’t believe The Cheat won sectionals for the 4th year in a row dressed up as Strong Sad’s left leg. I knew I should have gone for the bigger butt. Oh well. At least I won the penmanship award. But I should get going if I’m still going to be fashionably late to the afterparty .

{He stops typing.}

Strong Bad: So, until next time, all the ladies and dudes say: (singing) “Strong Bad is a cool guy! And we’re not cool in the least!”

{He leaves and the paper descends.}