Yeah... I messed this one up...

STRONG BAD: {mimicking typing noises} Dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub dub DIB! Ticka.


Dear Strong Bad,

Here's a question for ya. What do you think happens when Homestar and Marzipan go on a date?

Boston, MA {Strong Bad doesn't say MA, he says "And the state Boston's in."}

{typing} You know I've done a lotta thinking on the subject. And yes, Boston, you guessed it, it gimme the jibblies. So in order to watch from a proper, safe distance I made up the {begins running a program and says} Homestar Runner and Marzipan Extra Real Dating Sim XR! {the game loads up} Using the most state-of-the-art polygonious technologies, we can see what an actual date with Marzipan and Homestar Runner would be like without the risk of personal injury. Or vomiting. I think it would go a little something... a-like-a-dis-a.

{We're in the game. Marzipan and Homestar are there, each with random options of things they can say.}



MARZIPAN: BUH! DUH! FUH! Strong Bad is on point!


STRONG BAD: {back to typing} So that gives you a pretty good idea of the lurking horrors. But to really experience it firsthand we'd need to like, get the Cheat to hide some kinda hidden camera, you know, in maybe that marshmallow place they always go to. So, we did. Let's check it out!

{cut to a TV labeled "Strong Bad's New Secret Security Camera Monitor. It turns on, and we see a low-quality black-and-white feed of Homestar and Marzipan on a date.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, okay, okay! Let's play again! What do you think I'll say next? Sid Hoffman, or Sid Frenchman?

MARZIPAN: This is the dumbest game I've ever played.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, c'mon! You're just being sore because you're losin'.

MARZIPAN: Okay, I'll go with Sid Hoffman.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sid Hoffffff-Frenchman! Sorry! You lose again. I said Sid Frenchman.

MARZIPAN: Homestar, you said Sid Hoffrenchman. That was not even a choice.

STRONG BAD: Oh jeeze. I don't think I can handle much more of this. Let's see what else we got on the tube.

{Strong Bad changes the channel to CAM 2, where we see the camera being smashed repeatedly in Strong Sad's face by Strong Mad. It turns out to be a hidden camera in Strong Mad's ring.}

STRONG SAD: Ow! Please! Quit! Punching! Me in the face! Since when did you start wearing a class ring?

STRONG BAD: Oh, beautiful!

STRONG SAD: With a camera in it?

STRONG BAD: Nice work, big bro! {changes to CAM 3, a view of Strongbadia.} Everything seems to be in order in Strongbadia. {The Cheat walks into the sight of the camera.} Oh! Perfect timing. Check out my security counter-measures. {The Cheat touches the tire and is instantly electrocuted. A cardboard cut-out of a bear holding a shark springs up and the Cheat screams and runs away.} Bwahaha! Lookit that little guy run! The Cheat totally freaks out whenever he sees a bear holding a shark. {Strong Bad switches back to CAM 1. Homestar is now kicking Marzipan in the shins.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Marzipan, can you feel that?



MARZIPAN: Well, you're kicking me in the shins.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I think I'd remember something like that.

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys. We also switched Homestar Runner's gourmet coffee with super mud! {Homestar takes a sip of his "coffee" and spits it all into Marzipan's face.} Whoa-ho-ho! That's great! {resumes typing} Marzipan's gotta face fulla super mud and I'm feelin' fine. The paper, would you bring this fine email to a close? {The Paper comes down.} I gotta go reset that bear-shark. You guys can play that game if you want. {He types the name of the program and leaves.}