STRONG BAD: {typing "strongbad_email.exe"} Let's check a Strong Bad E-mail, you and me. Together. Like we used to. Like a family. {hits Enter; the e-mail appears}


Dear Strong Bad,
what did you do for the Cheat's
birthday party

{he sees there is no signature}

Aw, man! Another one of those "no-name brand" e-mails. Ah, let's see. Who are you from? You're from... {typing signature} Mike {pause} Control.


Here comes Mike, he's on the Mike...Control.
Chiggity here come Mike, he's on the Mike...Control.
Miggity here comes Mike, he's on the Mike...Control.

COACH Z: Hey, that's a good rhyme! We should cut a demo!

BUBS: {enters} I could be your manager. I'll make millions!

STRONG BAD: You'll do no such thing! I don't need you fools. And get outta here and let me answer Mike Controller's question.

COACH Z: {leaving} Yeah, we'll be better off without 'im.

BUBS: {leaving} I can play keytar!

STRONG BAD: Anyways, where were we? Oh yeah, Cheatday. {begins typing his response} So, nobody knows exactly when The Cheat's Cheatday is, so we celebrate it on the only day we know for sure it isn't. And that's the date of birth on his fake I.D.

{A fake identification card appears, titled "SCANDINAVIAN FAKE I.D.", giving a name of Ilko Skevüld, date of birth of 4/18/1961, height of 6'9", weight of 293, and a type of "Miner". A profile view of a man whose hair vaguely resembles The Cheat is featured. The card is signed with Ilko's name.}

STRONG BAD: {still typing} Which says he's a 43-year-old Scandinavian miner named Ilko Skevüld. The festivities usually begin when {cut to Strong Bad sleeping on couch; voiceover continues} The Cheat wakes me up around the crack of noon, and I'll sing him the Date of Birth song.

THE CHEAT: {pokes Strong Bad and sings "rise and shine" in The Cheat sounds}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Super...Super Contra...

THE CHEAT: {pokes Strong Bad, and sings "rise and shine" in The Cheat sounds}

{Strong Bad grunts and sits up. A bag of potato chips sits atop his head. The Cheat grins and blinks rapidly several times.}

STRONG BAD: Oh. Right, right. {clears his throat}


Sweet, sweet The Cheat
Today is the day on your fake I.D.

{Bubs appears from behind the couch, playing a keyboard and guitar hybrid that must be the "keytar".}

Now, get upstairs - unh!
And fix me some breakfast.

BUBS: Hey, that's a good jam! We should cut a --

STRONG BAD: Get outta here, kid!

{Bubs hides behind the couch. Strong Bad affectionately pats The Cheat on the head.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} After breakfast, in honor of Ilko's heritage, we'll usually play some mining games...

{Cut to a scene in a field. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat, all with helmets equipped with flashlights, stand around a pile of charcoal briquettes. Strong Bad holds a shovel, and The Cheat a pickaxe.}

STRONG BAD: {continuing voiceover}

{The Cheat half-heartedly plunks his pickaxe into the ground.}


{We return to Strong Bad typing his response.}

STRONG BAD: And then as a special treat, I let The Cheat answer some emails.

{Strong Bad gets up, and The Cheat takes his place. The Cheat "reads" each e-mail, and his response, with a few syllables each in his squeaky, incomprehensible voice.}



i want to know whos beter you or
the cheat or strong mad?

your friend
ryan az


Yeah, man. I'll gnaw your face off.
- Teh C.


hey, sb!
what's up? i was just wondering
what you're mom and dad look like.

please answer,
bridget thornton, co


Yeah, man. I'll gnaw your face off.
- Teh C.


make more trogdor pleasepleaseplease

p.s. pay out strong sad


Yeah, man. I'll gnaw your face off.
- Teh C.

STRONG BAD: {apparently recovering from laughing} O-ho, man! "I'll gnaw your face off!" {The Cheat grins} Every year it gets funnier! Ohhh! {He regains his composure.} Happy The Cheat day, Ilko! May you never get the black lung.

{The paper comes down.}