STRONG BAD: This email is brought to you by a grant from The Cheat
{a logo appears of The Cheat, captioned "The Cheat since 1983"} and the support of Viewers Like You.
{"Viewers Like You" appears}
{reading}
Hey Strong Bad!
Have you ever considered writing a biography on your life? I think it would be a very cool idea since everyone likes you anyway.
{stops reading} That's true!
{continues} I mean, no one wants to read about a boring person, like Strong Sad, or anything like that.
Dan, PA
{Strong Bad says "Dan from Pennsylvania"}
Wait a minute... lemme check something...
{runs spellchecka.exe, it says "0 spelling errors found!"} No way! No misspellings, a good idea, made fun of Strong Sad...don't get me wrong, Dan, I mean, I wanna make fun of you but, uh, you've put together a solid email!
{while saying this, he types "No misspellings + good idea + made fun of dumpus = SOLID!!"} I'm gonna print this thing out and save it for posterity. Maybe a little prosperity.
{He runs print_of_it.exe and the email prints out a la the paper. He tears it off and starts typing.} Well, Dan, you big, dumb moron. I've actually already begun work on my memoirs. It's a new books-on-tape series called "Words I Probably Said" by Strong Bad.
{stops typing} Let's take a listen.
{cut to a booOOMbox, Strong Bad plays the tape that's in there}
{recorded} --and Reg had the ball at the top of the key, and I was all like, "I'm open! I'm open! But somebody musta slipped him some drugs or something before the game because he didn't see me and he passed it to the Deke instead and the Deke SLAM-DUNKED IT! Oh, it was my greatest moment on the court! I was trying to high-five everyone in sight but there was a lot of commotion and excitement and...the Deke accidentally shoved me to the ground and called me a--
{Strong Bad starts fast-forwarding) Oop! We'll skip on ahead here.
{the tape continues} --and she was a very,
very special lady. And she loved me
so much and had skinny blonde hair and was always hanging out at the beach, gazing at a photo of me...too bad when she had to go to another planet for reasons too complex to elaborate on. I'll probably never see her again. And neither will any of you.
{Strong Bad starts fast-forwarding} That was a true part! Let's skip ahead again.
{the tape continues} --but the Cheat couldn't stop laughing and I didn't know what the big deal was until I saw the piece of paper...I just about lost it!
{a piece of notebook paper is shown which is a poor attempt at a counterfeit $1,000 bill} Milk and cookie shot out of my nose! Oh! It was a great idea. And it just might work!
{Strong Bad cuts in} And it
did work! Alright, that's enough. You heard enough... of my secrets.
{back to Compy, typing}
So, you get the picture. I mean it's gonna be great. People will listen to it when they go on roadtrips. Maybe play it on their walkman when they go jogging in the park. I mean, I bet it'll make people wanna run faster because of how good it is. That thing could double as one of those weightloss tapes.
{stops typing} Okay. Take it away, the paper! Breeeaaaooowwww... Come on. Beeeeooowwweeeowwweee. Where's the d--
{the paper comes down} Oh. Musta been a paper jam.