STRONG BAD: {singing} What do you get when you email Strong Bad? You get a world of hurt.


Hey Strong Bad,
I think that you should do more e-mails every week. Like two. Then we could have double the Strong Bad, and double the fun. {stops reading} Ooh! That's like Strong Bad gum! {continues reading}

Jimmy, MN {Strong Bad says "Minini"}

{typing} Okay little Jimmy. I'll do two emails this week. {stops typing, long pause} Number two.


Hey Strong Bad,
If you could time travel, what period in time would you travel to?

Dave Nienaber
Antioch, IL

{typing} Well Naber, I'd definitely travel ahead about 15 minutes to when all the ladies show up for my "2003 Ladies' Choice Awards." {a logo flashes on screen saying "Ladies' Choice Awards" and a little ditty of music plays} About 70 or 50 fine women will be showing up to vote on which one gets to dance with yours truly. But, since I don't have a time machine, I'll just have to wait it out.

{After a few seconds, everything starts going in fast-forward. We only get brief glimpses of all the stuff that happens as Strong Bad forwards ahead, and we stop the fast-forward on a screen that's typed: "Now, On to the ladies!!!" Cut to Strong Bad, Coach Z, Strong Mad, Bubs, and Strong Sad awaitng the females, with balloons and banners and nametags. However, there are no ladies to be seen.}

STRONG BAD: I don't get it! Where could the ladies be?

BUBS: You said there'd be the ladies!

STRONG BAD: I know! I know! Maybe their bus flew off a bottomless cliff...and into, like...a bottomless pit. Strong Sad, did anybody call and say they weren't coming?

STRONG SAD: Oh yeah, I forgot--

STRONG BAD: Or mention anything about a bottomless pit?

STRONG SAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. About a million ladies called while you were checking your email and said they'd be a few minutes late.

STRONG BAD: Oh, good! So their bus is okay.

STRONG SAD: No, I'm just kidding! But Homsar called and said he was a million ladies tall.

STRONG BAD: What?! Oh, this has gone from bad to worse!

COACH Z: Hey guys, check it out! {puts a nametag on} I'm hot girl number 37!

STRONG BAD: Oh Coach, don't do it! This is depressing enough as it is.

COACH Z: No, lookit me! I'm shakin' it to the left and to the right!

STRONG BAD: Auuuuuuuuuuugh! {starts walking off}

COACH Z: {humming} Doo doo duh DOO doo doo doo duh doo doo!


{The same ditty that played before plays again, except the caption this time is "No Ladies Showed Up!" Meanwhile, back at Compy...}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I'm sorry you had to see that. I shoulda played it safe and gone back in time to where I know I'm awesome. But, since I don't have a time machine I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Umm... Backwards.

{The paper comes down}