Cast: Strong Bad, The Announcer, Strong Mad, The Cheat

{This begins in front of a snowy mountain backdrop. While the Announcer is first speaking, Strong Bad walks up and a big, fat bird alights on his boxing glove}

The Announcer: For years, he's thrilled and captivated himself with his music. And now, it's your turn.

Strong Bad: {singing} Every time that I look at myself, I can't believe how awesome I am. I mean, how awesome I AAAAAAAAAAAAM.

The Announcer: Strong Bad Sings! Featuring hundreds of your favorite Strong Bad hits!

{cut to Strong Bad singing in front of a black backdrop. Titles of his various songs scroll down the screen, including:

Who is the Guy That Wins All the Contests? (probably a reference to A Jumping Jack Contest)
What's the Problem With Your Stupid Face?
Everybody Loves a Little Competition
I Never Said I Wouldn't Try to Beat the Crap Out of You
Let's Make Believe That We're in Love (So I Can Break Up with You)
The Last Time I Didn't Come in First Was Never, I Mean Earlier Today
The Ladies in My Town All Know My Name
Everyone Who Doesn't Like Me More Than Likely Sucks Real Bad
You've Got an Ugly and Stupid Butt
Let's Get Started on Doing All Those Awesome Things I Suggested
This One Time I Saw Homestar Punching a Kitten in the Throat
The Only Thing Wrong With You is Everything
Somebody Told Me (Now I Believe Them)}

Strong Bad: {singing} Let's make believe that we're in love, so I can break up with you.

{another Strong Bad head appears in profile above the other Strong Bad and begins to sing}

Strong Bad: {singing} You've got an ugly butt, and a stupid... butt.

The Announcer: Now available for the first time anywhere outside his basement!

{cut to Strong Bad singing in front of a desert backdrop}

Strong Bad: {singing} Somebody told me that you were so stupid, but I didn't believe them, but now I believe them.

{Cut to a display of all the media available. As (The Announcer)? states what they are, they appear and stack up}

The Announcer: Available on three records, seven CDs, twelve cassetes or thirty eight-track tapes.
You might expect to pay almost a hundred dollars for this rare collection. It's all yours for only one easy installment of $193.75!

{Cut to the cover of the album mentioned below.}

The Announcer: Act now and recieve "Strong Mad Forgets the Words To His Favorites" absolutely free!

{Cut to a room where The Cheat is playing "Happy Birthday" on a piano and Strong Mad is forgetting the words.}

Strong Mad: Ummmm.... uuuhhh... Ummmm...

{Cut to the "Order now" screen. The "Strong Bad Sings" record, CD, cassette, and 8-track are shown, with the ordering information below it.
A different announcer is speaking now.}

Announcer 2: To order your copy of "Strong Bad Sings," call 1-800-428-64 twotytwo, or send check, cash, or money order to
{stumbling over words} four six-ty nine, The Place to Be... Uhhh... refunds not available in Maine or Arkansas.

{The ordering information is actually a bit different. It says:

Strong Bad Sings

or send check, cash, money order,
brownies, or birthday presents to:

P.O. Box 212
Strong Bad's House
Free Country, USA}