Features: The Homestar Runner, 1936 Marzipan, Fat Dudley, The Strong Bad, Strong Man, The Guy at the Depot, Sickly Sam, The Kaiser (in easter egg), The Devil (in easter egg)

{ A crackly, simple melody plays in the background of an old, grayscale television screen.

The following words appear:

The Homestar Runner in a "Cartoon" for "Kids"
"Parsnips a Plenty"

Presented in Glorious
copyright 1936

( Accompanied by a picture of 1936 Homestar Runner ) The Homestar Runner
( Accompanied by a picture of 1936 Marzipan ) Marzipan
( Accompaneid by a picture of 'Fat Dudley' ) Fat Dudley
( Accompanied by a picture of 1936 Strong Bad ) Strong Bad
( Accompanied by a picture of Strong Man ) Strong Man
( Accompanied by a picture of The Sneak ) The Sneak }

{Cut to a scene with THE HOMESTAR RUNNER, FAT DUDLEY and 1936 MARZIPAN, standing in a field. When voices speak, they are crackly and difficult to understand.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Let's make soup.

1936 MARZIPAN: What type?

FAT DUDLEY: { Flapping his hands and saying the words musically } Bo, bo bo bo bo bo bo, bo bo!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Parsnip soup it is.

{ There are a few flashes and changes in position on the part of the characters, suggesting that several takes were required to get this scene right. }

1936 MARZIPAN: Let's make soup!

{ MARZIPAN's image can be seen reflected in a long and complicated telescope, which the camera follows until it reveals STRONG BAD on the other end, peering out. He puts it down, looking malicious. }

1936 STRONG BAD: { Turning his head } Parsnip soup, eh? We'll make parsnip pie!

{ The camera cuts to a position from which you can see STRONG BAD, THE SNEAK and STRONG MAN standing in front of some very badly-drawn buildings. Dramatic music begins. }

STRONG MAN: { Flexing his arms } RRAAAAHH! { The dramatic music ends. }

{ Cut to a scene with THE HOMESTAR RUNNER, MARZIPAN and FAT DUDLEY standing in front of the 'Parsnip Depot'. A sign on it reads, "No hobos!" }

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: This must be the depot. (pronounces it 'day-po')

{ The three of them go into the depot together. }

1936 STRONG BAD: { Dramatic music plays. Sticking his head out of the bottom of the fence }: AHAHAHA!! { STRONG BAD's head retreats. The music stops. }

{ Cut our three heros at the Parsnip Depot counter, }

{ THE GUY AT THE DEPOT shakes a cup with three pencils in it. }

1936 MARZIPAN: Parsnips, please.

THE GUY AT THE DEPOT: We're all out. { He shakes the cup again. }

{ Cut briefly to a scene of many tables upturned, empty of parsnips. Cut to MARZIPAN's shocked expression, then to HOMESTAR's. }

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: { Speaking in a slow monotone } Where have all the parsnips gone?

FAT DUDLEY: { Musically, waving his arms } Bo bo bo bo bo, bo bo, bo bo!

{ Cut to a scene showing STRONG BAD, STRONG MAN and THE SNEAK pushing a wheelbarrow full of parsnips. The dramatic music plays once again. }


{ Cut to THE HOMESTAR RUNNER again. }

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: { Doing a double take } Strong Bad!

{ Cut back to STRONG BAD. }

1936 STRONG BAD: { Brandishing a parsnip, and then throwing it away, while speaking dramatically } Now we'll have our parsnip pie, and The Homestar Runner will go hungry! It's curtains for you!

{ Cut to THE HOMESTAR RUNNER, looking confused. There is a short pause. }


{ Cut once again to STRONG BAD. }

1936 STRONG BAD: { Brandishing an old-fashioned gun. } We'll have a duel!

{ Cut to THE HOMESTAR RUNNER, looking even more confused. }


{ Fade out in the form of a black circle. We see STRONG BAD and THE HOMESTAR RUNNER standing with their backs facing each other, STRONG MAN and THE SNEAK on the left side ( STRONG BAD's side ) and MARZIPAN and FAT DUDLEY on the right ( HOMESTAR's side ). }

1936 STRONG BAD: Five paces, turn and fire!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: { Sounding more confused than ever before } What???

{ STRONG BAD starts walking away, but THE HOMESTAR RUNNER doesn't. }

{ The sound of a record rewinding resonates briefly. The following text appears onscreen: (SCENE MISSING!) }

{ An image appears of STRONG BAD falling off a cliff. The word 'Cliff' is written on a sign at the top. His gun spirals after him. }

1936 STRONG BAD: { Yelling in a monotone } AAAAHHHH!!

{ Cut to a scene with 1936 MARZIPAN, THE HOMESTAR RUNNER, FAT DUDLEY, THE GUY AT THE DEPOT, THE SNEAK, and STRONG MAN standing at the former dueling grounds. }


1936 STRONG BAD: { Still falling } BOOOOOOO!!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now I'll do a dance.

{ The Homestar Runner does his trademark dance, to the trademark music. }

{ Once again, cut using the black circle, this time to a table with soup on it. MARZIPAN and HOMESTAR can be seen sitting in front of the soup. }

1936 MARZIPAN: How's the soup?

{ THE HOMESTAR RUNNER eats a spoonful, gags twice, then spits it out all over FAT DUDLEY, who was apparently sitting off-camera. Soup pours down his head. }

{ Cut to a scene of the door to the room. }

SICKLY SAM: { Emerging from the door. In a weak voice... } Can you spare any mush for me?

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: { from off-camera } Sorry, Sickly Sam, I wish you'd leave us alone.

{ Sickly Sam disappears in a puff, to the sound of someone gasping for breath. }

{ Cut back to THE HOMESTAR RUNNER. }

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Fat Dudley, you're all wet.

{ Fade out with the black circle once more, this time centering on HOMESTAR's eye, which winks. }