COACH Z: Oh jeez, I don't know. I think I prefer him work with the Furious 5 much more. He had more street cred back then.

HOMESTAR: Hey, thanks for coming to my party guys. Ahh. Coach Z is down with the PE.

STRONG BAD: ...ya know I think it turned out pretty good. I mean mom helped me do the fruit, and I did the sewing--

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, lookin' good Strong Bad. The Chiquita Banana lady. That's great!

STRONG BAD: Oooh, Chiquita Ba--for the last time, I'm Carmen freakin' Miranda!

MARZIPAN: Yesterday, I was out in the garden, and I was weeding, and there was this little worm...

HOMESTAR: Aww, everybody looks so great! You know, there's more punch over there, if anybody wants any... All riiiiiight, everybody! Line up! We're gonna play (clicks flashlight on and off) Flashlight Ghost Storytelling with a Flashliiight! (thunder booms)

MARZIPAN: We should stand boy-girl-boy-girl! (thunder booms)

HOMESTAR: Good one, Marzipan! That way we know it's fair!

MARZIPAN: I get to stand next to you, Homestar!

HOMESTAR: Nope! I'm standin' next to Bubs! You get to stand next to Strong Baaad. (walks away)


STRONG BAD: Psst! Hey Marzipan, is my slip showing?

HOMESTAR: Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll go first. (a circle forms around him so his picture is now an inset of a new scene) Umm... okay! Once, there was this green gobliiiin... (a goblin appears) and um, he used to... look aroooound... (the goblin looks around) And um, I guess he did a daaance. (the goblin dances. crazy.) Oh man, that was terrible.

BUBS: And the goblin, he had a Gremlin! And he jacked it up on some fat tires, and uh, he souped it up on some something something 7-50 double bumper something something 390 horsepower--I mean, he had some freakin' muscle!

POM POM: Bubble bubble bubble. (a blonde girl in a pink bikini with a Pom head appears next to the Gremlin) Bubble bubble bubble bubble. (redhead with a blue bikini) Bubble bubble bubble. (brunette, leopard) Bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble. ''(beer and sports paraphernalia appear.)

MARZIPAN: And, one of the girls had a cute little kitten whose name was Kitty-kitty. (A cat appears beside the girl on the left.) And one of the girls had a cute little puppy named Chris. (A dog appears beside the girl on the right.) And, the third girl was a replubican. (A picket sign appears in the hand of the girl on the Gremlin.)

STRONG BAD: Oh, brother! Gimme that! And then the robot came (The Visor Robot appears onscreen, to the right.) and vaporized everybody and everything and he was like "You're all gonna die!" And he was like "Oh, it's the Goblin's Gremlin! I hate you, Gremlin!" ( The Visor Robot picks up the Gremlin and heaves it across the place where it is not visible anymore.) I need to get some more punch.

THE KING OF TOWN: Oooh, oooh!( The Visor Robot and Goblin stand across from each other and all the food appears that the KOT mentions in between them.) And there was fried fish and heavenly ham and Salsburry Sundaes and globs of meringue and strawberry frosted dohnuts and bowls full of jelly and klondike pudding and scrumptious fillers... and-DOO! DOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

STRONG SAD: And the brain had been stolen from a kindly old man and put into the robot's head. And his kids were looking for their father, so they called out to him by name.(Speech bubble with an exclamation point in it appears on the girl.) The robot then remembered his kids and his stolen life, and he was moved to tears. (Robot starts to cry.) But the tears shorted out his circuits (Electric volts appear on the robot's head) and he fell on the kids and the goblin. (Robot falls on them and his brain comes out.) and none of them lived.
(Go to the real world where Bubs, Coach Z, and The KOT are crying.)

COACH Z:(While crying) Ah, what a total downer! (While they are crying, they walk away.)

STRONG BAD: Oh man! I am outta here, man!

MARZIPAN: (Crying) That was the saddest story ever! You can't come to next year's party. (To Strong Sad. Walks away, while The Poopsmith is also crying and walking away.))

HOMESTAR: (Sadly) Gee, thanks for coming to my party, Strong Sad *sigh*. (Walks away.)

STRONG SAD: (Everyone is gone and he is alone. He clicks the flashlight on and off a few times, then the screen fades.)


Transcribed by Shopiom and anonymous.