WASHINGTON D.C.--Late last the night newest developents arrived at the White House involving the war in Stan. Another attack by rebel burninators have devestated the town of Blablahbad. The burnination count has now reached 462, and the burninated countryside now totals over 1/6 of the country. This catastrophe would have continued without an end in sight if the Cheat Commando known as Silent Rip had not sacrificed his left knee for (EDITED BECAUSE YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE A GILLION TIMES--C.C.)-The Associated People