{Strong Bad is holding out a toy helicopter and making "thub thub thub" noises, then pulls out the Firebert Cheat Commando Action Figure. On the bottom it says "copyright 1986 Cheap As Free Toys"}

STRONG BAD: Time to para...troop behind enemy lines!

{Strong Bad drops the action figure to the ground, where Homestar Runner has his own Cheat Commando action figure hiding in some tall grass.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Surprise, surprise, Firebert!

STRONG BAD: Silent Rip! You snuck up on me!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's what I do best!

STRONG BAD: Time to take out the enemy radar dish!

{Cut to a bunch of evil The Cheats wearing blue suits and shades in front of the stick, which has a pie tin on top of it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We're outnumbered! We need reinforcements!

{Cut back to Firebert and Silent Rip in the tall grass. Coach Z arrives with his own Cheat Commando. It wears military fatigues and a rocket backpack.}

COACH Z: Did somebody say my name?

STRONG BAD and HOMESTAR RUNNER: Reinforcements!

COACH Z: Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket fire!

{Coach Z presses a button on the back of Reinforcements' rocket backback and a plastic rocket flies up and hits the tin, knocking it over and smashing the blue The Cheats.}

STRONG BAD: Mission accomplished! Time for some R&R!

{Cut to the three action figures hanging out with a Barbie-like doll and some Xtra Cold Ones.}

STRONG BAD: Cheat Commandos!

STRONG BAD, HOMESTAR RUNNER, and COACH Z: Rock, rock on!

{The Cheat Commandos logo comes up}

ANNOUNCER: Cheat Commandos, only from Cheap as Free Toys! Collect them all! {As he lists each character, their toy box shows up on screen} Fightgar! Crackotage! Silent Rip! Firebert! Gunhaver! Flashfight! Ripberger! Foxface! Reinforcements! And Reynold! {cut to a bunch of vehicles and playsets in the yard} And don't forget new Cheat Commandos vehicles and playsets! There's the "Troop Carrier," {cut to Troop Carrier} the "Troop Transport," {cut to Troop Transport} and the "Action Figure Storage Truck!" {cut to Action Figure Storage Truck} Then take the action even further with Reynold's Apartment Extreme Playset!

{Strong Bad brings Reynold out to his playset and plays as him.}

STRONG BAD: Augh, I really need to go grocery shopping! I wish my girlfriend didn't leave me!

{Strong Bad tosses Reynold into the playset.}

ANNOUNCER: All new Cheat Commandos from Cheap as Free Toys! Cheat Commandos, rock, rock on! And now, tune in weekdays, for Cheat Commando Adventures, on the inside of your TV!

{Cut to a cartoon with cheesy animation with all of the Cheat Commandos. A G.I. Joe-like song plays in the background. Silent Rip is on.}

SILENT RIP: Those loonies are gonna blow up the ocean!

{Cut to the Blue Laser headquarters. A computer screen in the background reads "OPERATION OCEAN BLOW" and "T-MINUS: GO!!!}

BLUE LASER: WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!

{Cut to Gunhaver with lasers blasting above his head}

GUNHAVER: Quick, everyone! To the Action Figure Storage Vehicle!

{Cut to a canyon, where a whole mess of trucks and Blue Laser vehicles are firing red and blue lasers, respectively, at each other. Cut to all the Commandos running along and then a shot of Fightgar firing his machine gun in all directions}

ANNOUNCER: Cheat Commandos is an elite fighting force, sworn to protect the world from the evil forces of Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser HQ. Blue Laser is with a Blue Laser commando. The computer screen now reads, "OPERATION DON'T CRUSH OURSELVES" as well as "T-MINUS: TOTAL".}

BLUE LASER: CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!

{Cut to Firebert with a TNT detonater. He pushes down the plunger and we hear a boom. It starts a rockslide which covers two Blue Laser Commandos. Cut to Blue Laser HQ. The computer screen reads "OPERATION DON'T CRUSH OURSELVES" and now "FAILED!!"}

BLUE LASER: I JUST HATE YOU SO MUCH!

{Cut to Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: Cheat Commandos... {zooms out to show him on a pedestal reading, "ROCK, ROCK ON" and all the commandos surrounding him} rock rock on!

{A jingle is played in the background - "Cheat Commandos, maybe fighting for freedom, and each is sold separately. Cheat Commandos, probably battling evil, buy all our playsets and toys!"}

ANNOUNCER {In a nasal voice}: Weekdays at 4:30.