Agent Nine:Today were gonna interview QWRTYIUOP, aka QWERTY, to find out what his freakin' problem is.

{Arrives at QWERTYUIOP's favorite place...THE BATHROOM!}

So QWERTY, what's your freaking problem?


Agent Nine:I said what's your freaking problem?!


Agent Nine:Hey, I'm a volunteer. I don't have to do this.


Agent Nine {mumbling}:Okay, maybe if I ask a stupid question I'll get a smart answer...
{stops mumbling}Well there, QWERTYUIOP. I say, ASDFGHJKLLKJHGFDSA?

QWERTY:Yeah, my doctor says I need a dose of fwiggin' 30 hundred.

Agent Nine:HA HA YES!!


Agent Nine:Mark who?
Okay now, we're out of tape so...{says really fast}As you can see, QWERTUIOP is an idiot.
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation. Conceived in liberty and deticated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great Civil War. Testing whether that nation, or any other nation, so conceived and so deticated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to deticate a portion of that field to those who here gave their lives that nation might live. It is both fitting and proper that we should do this.
But in a larger sense, we cannot deticate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but they will never forget what t-- {tape runs out....} Agent Nine continues reciting The Gettysburg Adress (which I have 3/4 of memorized in 1-2 hours)