{Announcer appears in front of the contestants who are lined up on a stage.}

ANNOUNCER:
Good afternoon --
{microphone squeaks, cutting him off}

ANNOUNCER:
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a jumping jack contest! Our five hot contestants will compete to see who can sustain their jumping jacks for the longest time. Any contestant that ceases to jump jack even for a moment is OUT of the competetion.

{While he speaks, view zooms in on the contestants, first Bubs, then Strong Bad, then Homestar, then Pom Pom, then Strong Sad, who sighs.}

ANNOUNCER:
On your mark, get set...GO!!
{The contestants begin jumping. Strong Sad jumps two, lousy jacks and sweats.}

STRONG SAD:
{sighs} I quit. {stops jumping}

HOMESTAR:
Alright Strong Sad! That’s twice as many as last year!

{While Strong Bad jumps, The Cheat confronts him from the back of the stage.}

STRONG BAD:
Ah, The Cheat. Is everything ready?

{The Cheat nods}

STRONG BAD:
GOOD!!! Now go, and win us this competition!

{The Cheat approaches Homestar carrying a tray with a glass of melonade and taps Homestar on the back}

HOMESTAR:
Hey, The Cheat! What's up?

THE CHEAT:
{squeaky noise}

HOMESTAR:
A glass of melonade for me? Hmmm....OK!
{Homestar drinks the melonade}

HOMESTAR:
Thanks, The Cheat!

{The Cheat exits and goes to a secret hideout in which are tons of melonade kegs and Strong Mad has his hand on one. The Cheat refills the glass, returns to the stage and gets Homestar's attention}

HOMESTAR:
Oh, another one. {drinks melonade}

{Music plays and time goes by, showing The Cheat leaving and returning with another full glass and Homestar drinking it over and over again until he's too full. The Cheat slaps Strong Mad a high five.}

HOMESTAR:
Oh...I think I drank too many melonades...

STRONG BAD:
You’re not looking so good Homestar. I think you better drop out.

HOMESTAR:
Seriously, Pom Pom. I'm about to pee my pants.

POM POM:
{bubbles}

HOMESTAR:
Great idea, Pom Pom! But do you think he can get here in time?

{Cuts to a close up of Homestar moaning relievingly, then zooms out to show The Poopsmith walking away with a jar of Homestar's pee.}


{The screen reads DAY 2}


STRONG BAD:
Hey, Bubs! Looks like quite a line is filling up at your concession stand!

{Shows Strong Mad and The Cheat waiting in line at Bubs' concession stand}

BUBS:
Hot dog!! {runs to the stand and retrieves a lollipop and an icecream cone from inside the stand}

BUBS:
What can I get for you fine gentlemen.... {zooms out to show that Strong Mad and The Cheat have left.}

BUBS:
Oh........I'm such a dummy.

{Screen reads Day 3. Cuts back to Jumping Jack Contest}

ANNOUNCER: And so end day 2 and only three of our hot contestants left.

HOMESTAR:
How are you holding up, Pom Pom?

POM POM:
{bubbles}

HOMESTAR:
How about you, Strong Bad?

STRONG MAD {dressed up as Strong Bad}:
I AM STRONG BAD!

POM POM:
{bubbles doubtfully}

HOMESTAR:
No way, Pom Pom! Of course that’s Strong Bad! OK, Strong Bad, are you Strong Bad?

STRONG MAD:
I AM STRONG BAD.

HOMESTAR:
See?

{The screen reads Day 4. Homestar’s looking exhausted.}

HOMESTAR:
I don’t know how much longer I can make it, Pom Pom.

{Shows The Cheat dressed up as Strong Bad jumping in Strong Bad's place}

HOMESTAR:
And Strong Bad’s STILL looking good.

{Cuts to Strong Bad lying on a lawn chair with a glass of melonade and a radio}

STRONG BAD:
Uh, lets see. OK, I want to thank The Cheat for helping me to cheat...no, no, that’s not it...I want to thank Strong Mad for helping me to cheat! There, that's better!

ANNOUNCER {on Strong Bad's radio}:
It's day 4 of the competition, and Homestar Runner’s looking like he could drop out at any moment!

STRONG BAD:
Ah! That's my cue! {walks in the direction of the contest}

HOMESTAR:
I give up Pom Pom, I'm about to jump my last jack.

POM POM:
{stops jumping and bubbles suspiciously}

HOMESTAR:
Pom Pom! What are you doing?
{Pom Pom approaches The Cheat and takes off his S.B. mask.}

BUBS:
Hey! It's The Cheat! And it looks like he’s cheatin'!
{The Cheat gets a Homestar mask and attempts again to cover his face.}

HOMESTAR:
{stops jumping} If that's The Cheat, then where's Strong Bad?
{Cuts to Strong Bad walking along the grass}

STRONG BAD {singing}:
Who's the guy that wins all the contests? That's me, Strong Bad! Except maybe for that one contest... Or maybe more than one contest...

HOMESTAR:
THERE HE IS!

STRONG BAD:
Oh... Holy crap!

{Cuts to Homestar with his trophy}

HOMESTAR:
Thanks everybody, but this trophy really belongs to my best friend, Pom Pom!

STRONG BAD {dressed up as Pom Pom}:
Hey, give me that! Oh, I mean... bubble. Bubble de bubble. Double bubble.

HOMESTAR:
You said it Pom Pom. We're best friends!

Transcribed by PrincessofStrongBadia {this is my favouritest episode!}
P.S. The part that says "only three of our hot contestants left" should say "three contestants left, and the one farthest to the left is hot."