{Marzipan and Homestar Runner are in costumes, Marzipan as an angel and Homestar as the King of Town.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow. I can't believe the night of the big Decemberween pageant has finally arrived! After all the weeks and weeks of rehearsing and practicing and memorizing lines...

MARZIPAN: Homestar, I don't think those are your lines.

{Zoom out to see that they're both onstage, actually performing. The audience laughs.}


{Cut to the title sequence. "A DECEMBERWEEN PAGEANT" "THE USUAL CREDITS" "FADE TO COMMERCIAL" It fades to black, then comes back on with the "A DECEMBERWEEN PAGEANT" title.}

ANNOUNCER: A Decemberween Pageant is brought to you by Fluffy Puff Marshmallows and Marshmallow Mayonnaise. {singing poorly} "Made from the best stuff!" And Litigation Jackson, in theaters December 27th!

{Fade to black. It fades up on Bubs and the King of Town, the latter of whom is wearing a Santa outfit.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Puts on a Burger King crown and thinks he's cock of the block! I can't believe they cast Homestar as the King of Town.

BUBS: Yep. They did.

THE KING OF TOWN: At least I still get to play Dr. Christmas. I can't wait to--

BUBS: Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you about that. Uh...

{Bubs takes the cap from the King of Town, puts it on, and walks off. Coach Z pops his head in.}

COACH Z: Uh... Kingy? You can go home.

{Cut to the stage, where Bubs and Strong Bad are on. Strong Bad has a spear, a turtleneck, and a beanie cap.}

BUBS: Archibald! We've got to find the first Decemberween!

STRONG BAD: I'll search down by the docks.

BUBS: What?

STRONG BAD: The docks. I'll search down by the docks.

BUBS: Ooh. I thought you said ducks. Good thinking! I'll come with ya.

{They walk off, applause is heard. Cut to backstage as they continue walking and Coach Z is there.}

COACH Z: Now that's what I call actin', boys! Don't go too far, Bubs! You're on again in farve!

{Cut to Marzipan and Pom Pom, who is wearing a Lakers jersey.}

MARZIPAN: I hardly recognize the Cheat, his costume is really convincing.

{Cut to back on stage. Bubs is there, as well as Homestar Runner, and The Cheat, who is wearing a sign that says "The Popular Vote". There are gears in the background.}

BUBS: We'll need fifty bags of jold! I mean, gold! Fifty bag of golds.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I just can't do it, Dr. Christmas. Famine has ruined all the town's gold. Let us away, Popular Vote!

{Homestar starts getting lifted up by a rope. Pulley sounds are heard and Homestar is grunting. The audience boos, then applauds. Homestar stops at about halfway up.}

STRONG BAD: {offstage} Okay. That's all you're getting out of me. {The curtain closes.} Guy's like a frickin' house.

{We hear a thud.}


{Cut to backstage. Strong Sad is holding his head.}

STRONG SAD: Augh! I'm totally freaking out here! I can't remember my lines, and if I don't remember my lines, then I'll ruin the whole play! At least the pageant.

{Cut back to the stage. Strong Bad is in a boat named the "USS Trimball" and there are cardboard cut-out waves being pulled back and forth, along with tentacles sticking out of stage right.}

STRONG BAD: How unfortunate! Oh, what a terrible fate has bestowed with me...uh, become to me... There's a squid.

{Cut to later, onstage, with Marzipan and The Cheat standing by a prop Eiffel Tower.}

MARZIPAN: I'll never forget you, Popular Vote, not in a million years! {the Cheat starts crying} Don't cry! Popular Votes aren't supposed to cry! You might rust. {audience laughs}

{Cut to backstage, with Coach Z)

COACH Z: Oh! Hey! Ooh! Where's Strong Sad? He's on in two scenes!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. He got nervous and went to the bathroom. I think he might be up-chucking.

{Coach Z goes to Strong Mad}

COACH Z: Hey Strong Mad. I need you to go get your brother.


COACH Z: 'Course you are, big guy. 'Course you are.

{Cut to the stage where Strong Bad, Bubs, Marzipan, and Homestar Runner are doing a music number.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Everyone's searching, looking and searching...

MARZIPAN: {singing} And everyone's hanging around!

BUBS: {singing} And who can be sure if we're looking for something?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} And looking for something I am!

{Cut to Strong Mad and Strong Sad in the bathroom. Strong Sad has locked himself in a stall.}

STRONG SAD: I'll be there in a second. Tell them to make something up until I get out there.

{Cut to the stage. Bubs, Marzipan, and Homestar Runner are standing there.}

BUBS: Everybody knows me! My name's Cornbread!

{Strong Bad walks in}

STRONG BAD: Uhh... I found that computer. I think it can help us!

BUBS: So, this computer you speak of. Where is it?

STRONG BAD: Umm... on the moon. It's a moon computer.

{Cut to backstage with Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Remember your line, remember your line!

{Back to the stage}

MARZIPAN: I can take you there! Everyone hop on!

{Strong Sad walks on.}

BUBS: Behold! The first Decemberween!


{The audience claps}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: This is the first Decemberween ever!

{Applause gets louder, the curtains close, and "THE END" appears.}