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Sat, 10 Apr 2004 16:43:53 . . . . CPE000039de515d-CM000039de505d.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com

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=== Transcript ===

(opens with Strong Bad typing in the Office Type Room)

Strong Bad: (narrating) Truly there are few guys as stupid as Homestar Runner. But I wanted to unravel all the idiotic ramblings and speech impediments and get down to the chewy caramel centre of this no-armed whitey. What I found was not pretty. It was slimy and smelly and kinda stung my eyes.

(cut to Marshmallow's Last Stand, where Strong Bad is sitting. We can see Homestar walk by while he talks.)

Strong Bad: (narrating) So Dumbstar has me meet him at this fruity little marshmallow stand he's always going to. He kept me waiting a good half hour and I actually watched him walk by the place three or four times before he finally came in.

(Homestar enters and sits down.)

Strong Bad: What the crap were you doing out there?

Homestar Runner: Out where?

Strong Bad: Outside! I watched you prance by like five times, man.

Homestar Runner: Oh, I doubt it. I drove.

Strong Bad: You don't own a car.

Homestar Runner: Yeah, you're probably right.

Strong Bad: Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.

Homestar Runner: Oh, I didn't bring any. I drove.

Strong Bad: Oh, this is gonna be painful.

Homestar Runner: What, the tacks? I bet. Try not to sit on 'em.

Strong Bad: No, stupid! This is an interview!

Homestar Runner: Oh, well allow me to introduce myself. My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.

Strong Bad: Okay, shut up. Now, first question: What's your freakin' problem?

Homestar Runner: (hands over a grocery list) Well if you take a look at my resume, you will see that I have quite a bit of experience in many different related fields.

Strong Bad: Cut the crap! Just tell me what your freaking problem is.

Homestar Runner: I can't really think of one.

Strong Bad: Awwww. Moving on. I've heard you enjoy prancing around like an idiot. Is this true?

(Homestar is outside prancing around.)

Homestar Runner: La-dee-la-da-da-la-dee. (enters and sits down)

Strong Bad: I suppose that answers my question. Now, tell us about you girlfriend Marzipan. What's her deal?

Homestar Runner: She told me today that she thinks your baking has really improved lately.

Strong Bad: My baking, eh? I do like to enjoy baking every once and again.

Homestar Runner: Interesting. I'll take note of that. (pulls out a notepad and pen) So, what else do you do in your spare time?

Strong Bad: Well, I like to do the Jumble sometimes and- Hey wait! I'm asking the questions here! So, who do you think would win in a fight: Strong Sad or The Cheat?

Homestar Runner: Oh, man. That's not even fair. (cuts to a field with Strong Sad and The Cheat. As Homestar talks, what he says is added to the scene.) The Cheat would win with his hands duct-taped behind his back, and has little pieces of duct tape over his eyes, and Strong Sad can have a spear even. (The Cheat jumps on Strong Sad, knocking him down, takes the duct tape off himself, and takes the spear.)

Strong Sad: En garde?

(cuts back to Marshmallow's Last Stand.)

Strong Bad: Woah, good answer. We might have to set that up someday.

Homestar Runner: Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

Strong Bad: Well, it can only go down from here, so... get out of my face.

(Homestar is outside prancing around.) La-da-dee-la-da.

=== The End ===