Changes by last author:

Strong Bad: Strong Bad Emails are a part of this balanced breakfast.

(reading the email)
Dear Strong Bad,
What would you do if you were stuck on a desert island with Homestar Runner?
Yami Yugi, England

Well, Yami Yugi,(can't pronounce the name) I suspect it would be like most cartoons. You know, we'd start to go nuts after a while, and I'd look at Homestar and he would look like a big steak, and then Homestar would look at me and I'd look like, you know,...some kind of brownie sundae. So we'd chase each other around the island, trying to eat each other. And at some point my foot would look like a sandwich, and i would put salt on it and try to eat it, and it'd be like, "Ahh, it's my foot!"
But that's a best case scenario. I'm sure in real life it would probably be a lot more annoying and painful with Homestar involved. (when he says "Homestar", he types "Dumpface")

(cut to Homestar and Strong Bad on an island)

Homestar: Hey Strong Bad.

Strong Bad: What?

Homestar: Are we rescued yet?

Strong Bad: You're gonna need to get rescued in a second if you don't quit asking me that.

Homestar: Ohhhhhhhh.............Hey Strong Bad.

Strong Bad: What?

Homestar: Is there ice cream yet?

Strong Bad: You're gonna need to get ice cream in a second if you don't quit asking me that. You know... cuz I'm gonna hit you... and you'll need the ice cream... to stop the swelling.

Homestar: Hey Stinkoman.

Strong Bad: Um...Did you just call me Stinkoman?

Homestar: Yes sir, I did.

Strong Bad: Geez. You don't happen to have a gun on your side of the island, do you?

Homestar: No. Hey Strong Bad, check this out! (turns away)

Strong Bad: Oh, don't start with that...

Homestar: Toons! {A ocean liner passes by with a loud "toot"}

Strong Bad:Homestar...

Homestar:Games! {An angry-looking, red-eyed Moby Dick-style white whale, with harpoons embedded in its body, emerges from the left side of the water. It spurts water from its blowhole and then goes back into the water.}

Strong Bad:Don't do another one...

Homestar: E-mail! {A propeller plane with a "WEAR A BIKINI" banner attached to it flies by} I love doing that.

(these have the same effect as if you did them on the island main page, except 'e-mail', the others are switched from main page too)

Strong Bad: Hey, check it out. A message in a bottle. (takes it out and reads it) What? Super Bowl XIX... Miami Dolphins vs. San Fransisco 49ers... great.

Homestar: We're saved!

Strong Bad: This is the worst deserted island ever.

==== The Paper ====