At the beginning, hold breath and get tinkle (or metal), which is a key in the chamber pot. Don't forget to BREATHE. Type breathe or release nose.

get hay, which turns out to be moldy bread.

open door and go south.

look at david bowie (optional).

use key to unlock the drawer.

get map. look map to get the maze directions. It disintegrates, so you'll have to write them down.

Go north and talk magistrate.

Go north, where you'll find a rat with a nametag. look at nametag (his name is Percy) and talk to percy. He'll offer you the plague.

Go north, and you'll get the plague (this can't be avoided).

get mop, as you will need it to fight off monsters.

Now follow the directions from the map (you wrote them down, right?). Stop to mop when you see stains (there's a stain in every room of the maze). You don't have to, but it's points.

To kill the monsters use the strike with the same letter as the beginning of the monster's name (eg. middlin for Mongrel, high for Hongrel, and low for Longrel).

When you get to the kitchen, go eastward (you can't just type east or e here) to the infirmary.

talk to doctor. Say no when he asks if you can wait. He'll saw off your plague, give you a sucker, and send you back to the kitchen. Do not talk to the healer, the doctor and the healer are seperate entities.

look at placard.

get picture.

talk to chef. He is really a Dongrel. use picture or use sucker to make Dongrel drop your mop, then get mop and use mop (if you never talk to chef, you can skip straight to use mop and avoid losing 1 life).

take emerald. Percy will show up. take off loincloth to kill him.

You win and IT'S OVER!!

A Map!

(M)          +----(M)    +----(L)
 |           |                 |
 |           |                 |
 +          (H)                +
 +----(M)         (H)
 |     |           |
(M)    +----(M)---Maze--(L)


There's an excellent walkthrough here:

Hey, can you use the map to get through the game without writing down what it says on that map that you get in the desk drawer?-(King Homsar)?

Um, yes. In fact, the "map" in the desk drawer actually contains an error (a missing N, IIRC). Of course, you could always just try it. -- InterruptorJones