(Note: There are at least two different off-camera voices, one of which we can assume is Cherry Greg, but I couldn't always tell them apart, so I just put them all as OFF-CAMERA. Please fix this if you've got a good ear.)

{Homestar Runner stands in a field. We see him though a video camera with a blinking red "Record" light.}

OFF-CAMERA: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, Take 1. Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! Welcome to Homestarrunner dot net.

OFF-CAMERA: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. It's Dot Com!



OFF-CAMERA: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something Dot Com!




HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner dot com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner--



HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner dot com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos--

OFF-CAMERA: {annoyed} English!


OFF-CAMERA: Take 13.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

OFF-CAMERA: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and this is a website!


OFF-CAMERA: Take 25.

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing a ridiculous costume (see the EasterEggs).}




OFF-CAMERA: Take 126.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Ahh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and punches Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastic, imitating Homestar} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {not sarcastic} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: Check me out! No, seriously, check me out. Sooooo... take a look around. I strongly recommend checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. I mean, I played it.

{Links to StrongBadEmail, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear.}