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Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:01:25 . . . . Shopiom [Audition for SM]

Changes by last author:

Want to try out for a character? As Other Character Email only wants the best of the best, you will have to tryout here first. Just ask yourself a question, and answer it. Stay in character, and become awesome by having your own page.

cybersurfer360's tryout.

KOT: I'll have a Homestar Junior, a large melonade, and a side of email.

KOT reads:
Dear the King of Town,

Why do you have a poopsmith? I mean, what exactly does he do, besides the obvious shoveling of crap? Also, where does he get all the crap to shovel?

Lee, VA

KOT(Typing): Dear Leeva,

How dare you trifle with my personal affairs! This is an outrage! An insult! Who have you been talking to?! There is nothing out of the ordinary in my poopsmith or the crap he shovels! DELETED! DELETEDDELETEDDELETED!!!!! {Deleted flashes on the screen.}

KOT: Well, I'm glad that's over with. {KOT get up and walks off screen. Camera moves to a shot of him in a deep vault, eating what appears to be the crap the poopsmith shovels out of a bowl. The King finishes and starts laughing maniacly. The paper comes down and the King continues to laugh.}


{If you click the King's Mustache, you see inside his kitchen, where the little chef dude is pulling one of many boxes of instant pudding off the shelf. Camera zooms in on the box. Box reads: Mr. Crappy's Extra Stanky Chocolate Pudding! Fool your friends, disgust your enemies! Makes sure to mix well!}

{If you click the bowl, you return to the KOT's computer room. The computer is aparantly typing on itself.}

Strong Bad's Old Computer(Typing): Someone get me out of here!!!!!!!!!

==== Not Approved ====

Sorry, but your formatting is horrific. Bold the KOTs name, like:
KOT (typing):
I do like your easter eggs. Also, this is a little shorter than what I'd like. I'm trying to redo some of my old ones to make then longer. Finally, I don't think you stayed in character very well. Feel free to try again, or give me a rebutal. -- JestersOfTheMoon



Dear (Whoever),

What is Dumpface's problem with melonade?

Well Myself,
it all started one day on Decemberween.
{flashback begins}
Bubs had made a new formula. Homestar and I were playing truth or dare. Nobody wanted to try Bubs' "formula".
So, I dared Homestar to do it. He was dumb enough to do it.
Homestar : I'd like to try that new stuff!!
Bubs : Okay! Oh, by the way, it's called. {looks left then right}
Homestar : Cool, can I have my drink now?
Bubs : Here you go!!
{Homestar gulps down melonade}
{He loves and drinks 31 glasses more}
{He got a serious problem!}
{fades back to reality}
That's pretty much it...


==== Not Approved ====

Anyone? No, sorry. It has to be SOMEONE to get in. If they're in other other email and you do a good job, they can be moved here. -- JestersOfTheMoon

I was saying you could make me anyone you want me to be. -- AgentNine

But how do I know that you can represent that character well? -- JestersOfTheMoon

Trust me man, I know. How old are you? You still 10? Cuz ur prty smrt 4 a 10 yr old. --Agnt9

I'll be 11 next month. But, on topic, I'll humor you. Try the Coach Z emails, because I really hate doing them. -- JestersOfTheMoon

So, you're in fifth grade? Jeez, why am I always the youngestperson in any orginazation.
I turn 11 this DECEMBER!!! --Always the youngest


KoT: Alright, I got a decent computer from Bubs, now I can answer my emails.
{types in, "kot_email.html"}
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Resident:
You may have already won $1,000,000 in food products!
KoT: *gasp*
Just send us your credit card #, phone number, e-mail adress, adress, and full name, and we'll get those food products to you lickity-split!
KoT: Alright, my credit card #... {types in a random set of numbers} ...phone number... {types in 568-5464} ...e-mail address... {kot123@homestarrunner.com} ...adress... {Yon Castle, Free Country, USA} ...and my full name... {The King of the Town}. {Hits reply} There! Now my food will come sooner or later...
...(fade to black)...
...(3 weeks later)...
{shot of outside Yon Castle. There's a mail box in front, full of letters. One falls out, close up, it reads, "SPAM". Go inside, we see that the KoT?'s castle is full of packages, each saying SPAM (one says peas). Enter KoT?}
KoT: WEll, my mail is junked up, I'm bankrupt, I'm getting countless phone calls, but at least I got my food products. {end e-mail}
Easter Eggs: After the end, click on "SPAM" and the box opens to reveal rotted spam. Also, click on "peas" to reveal the box of peas, in which The KoT Replies, "I hate peas!" Strong Bad, thru the window, says "I know!"

==== NOT APPROVED ====


Dear Homsar,

Do you like to read magazines? I don't! Most of them are girly magazines with a blinding shade of pink on the cover.
Cooler than cold

Homsar typing:Why Coors, I didn't know that your galoshes were spoiling the the cooks! AOAOAOAOAOAOAO! Pink eyebrows are the fad, and my naval fluff is building up on yours! Termites are waving the board, 2 by 4! AAAOAOAAOAAAOAAAAOA! Lets go look!

(Cut to scene with a magazine called "LeT's GiT jIgGy!!11!!!" with a picture of a one piece swimsuit. A caption says "Wear a Bikini!")

Homsar::This partialment said that mah authoritah is mainly enjoyable with lemons and egg-veg et ables! AOOAOAAAAAOAO!

(Flips page, Homsar says the same thing.)

Homsar:And this partialment said that mah authoritah is mainly enjoyable with lemons and egg-veg et ables! AOOAOAAAAAOAO! Where's my hat at?

(Flips page, Homsar says the same thing.)

And this partialment......

(Paper comes down, Homsar says the same thing over and over again until he reaches page 98)

Homsar::AOAOAAAAAOOOOA! What a trip to Iceland it was!

Easter eggs: 1.Click on the magazine after Homsar is done talking, and you can see what was really on the magazine:

2.After Homsar is done talking, click on Homsars hat to see what Homsar would look like in the "Where My Hat Is At" book.

==== Not Approved ====

Hey, Jester, are my HugeMouthMan emails good enough? -CE5

Yep. -- JestersOfTheMoon
(The Cheat's version of Strong Bad.)
Strong Bad: One, two, E-mail! Email! Two, three. One, two, E-mail! E-mail! two, three..

Dear Strong Bad,
Why do you keep giving The Cheat trophy's? It would be good if you got a trophy.
Sincerly, (sic)

Strong Bad: You think it would be good if I got a trophee, Sibbie? I think it would be good if you placed an apostrophe somewhere else. That is the only trophee that I get now. An apost- trophee. (pause) But I know that I probably deserve a trophee. {calls} The Cheat, come here, I need you!
{The Cheat comes along.}
Strong Bad: The Cheat I think I need a trophee! Can I have a trophee?
The Cheat: {Makes a few The Cheat noises and gives Strong Bad a trophee.}
Strong Bad: Wow, The Cheat! I finally have my very own trophee! The Cheat is so awesome! (pause) Have two trophees, The Cheat! {gives the Cheat two trophies.)
Strong Bad: {resumes typing} So there you have it Sibby-man! The Cheat *IS* so cool! Thanks for asking me!{Types T.f.a.m.) OK, so until next time, send me your E-mail, and The Cheat will be so awesome to you!
{paper comes down}
-Strong Lad

==== Not Apporved ====
It starts with an "FORMA" and it ends with a "TING". Italisize yer actions!
(This is Shopiom's audition for So-and-so

{Reading e-mail}
Dear So-and-so,
are you best friends with Cheerleader?
So-and-so: Of course! Cheerleader likes me! Watch this!
{Walks to a soccer field where Cheerleader is talking to a soccer player}
Cheerleader: So, you got any-
Cheerleader: Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to hot guys! PUNT!
So-and-so: {flies across the sky then lands on a sidewalk} Wow, Cheerleader sure is moody today! At least I've still got you, Brett! Wait, Brett, where are you going? Why are you walking away? Come back!

Hmmmm... You have a few flaws. The length is good. Here is the email rewritten the way I'd like it:
So-and-so: E-mail is SOOOO GOOOOD!
(Reading e-mail)
Dear So-and-so,
are you best friends with Cheerleader?
So-and-so: Of course! Cheerleader likes me! Watch this!
{Walks to a soccer field where Cheerleader is talking to a soccer player}
Cheerleader: So, you got any-
Cheerleader: Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to hot guys! PUNT!
So-and-so: {flies across the sky then lands on a sidewalk} Wow, Cheerleader sure is moody today! At least I've still got you, Brett! Wait, Brett, where are you going? Why are you walking away? Come back!
{'The Paper comes down}
She does have a good enough personality. You, my dear Slingshot Noise, are HIRED!
CE1's tryout

HR:Everybody loves the Homestar Email. It is a tewwific feature.
Dear Homestar, Why don't you try to retake school or get a tutor.
Your emailer, CE1

HR:Hm... That's not a bad idea! Wait.
(goes on internet and types in dictonary.com))
HR:what is "tutor", computer.
PC:Tutor is another word for teacher.
HR:Oh I get it. Well, Seeoneo, I can't
affowd a school. And I can't become a teacher either.
Way too confusing.
HR:Who's this?
HR:Hmm...Think. Think. Did mom say talk
to stwangews or not. Oh yeah! Talk to stwangews!
HR:Okay, I will!
{Homestar Runs and The Paper Comes Down}
-Easter Eggs!-
I don't usually do this but I will. if you click
concience, Homestar comes back, taking the paper
saying,"I might need this." Then you hear someone falling
and Homeschool Winner falls and says,
"Finally, he'll be smart. He'll maybe even teach me
how to be strong!"


Not, I'm afraid. Homestar isn't even open. BUT, I can see the hard work you put into this. I'll put it up as a guest email and brush it up. -- JestersOfTheMoon
I thought it was cause it had no name by it. The Cheatormaybecoachzonductor

Bryce Genesis's try out for Coach Z

Coach Z: Nobody does a better jearb at checking my emairls but me. Emairls. EMEAILIERARS.

Coach Z(Reading): Dear Coach Z,
why's your skin white? do you have some sort of fungus?

Lolly Larue.

Coach Z[Typing]: Well, I tells ya: I always had a white complexion. It's prably because I never got out much. And I know I'm a coach. The Coach Z. Wait, no, it's because...
[Bubs comes in]
Bubs: Hey, Coach!
[Coach Z screams and jumps out of his chair.]
Bubs: Here's that antifungal cream you wanted from the Concession Stand!
Coach Z: I didn't order no anterfungal crearm.
Bubs:Right on, Right on, but I thought you was going to order it, since you got that skin problem.
Coach Z: I don't have a skin prablem! I'm just fair skinned! I thought you knew that.
Bubs: Oh, right, I forgot! I got too much to remember anyhow, with all the crazy crap going on. Hey, can I use your phone?
Coach Z: Sure, I guess.
[Bubs goes to the phone, picks it up and dials. It rings twice and is answered.]
Marzipan: Hello?
Bubs: Hey, Marzipan, it's Bubs! Oh, snap! Hey Bubs, It's Marzipan! I got that antifungal cream you wanted from the Concession Stand!
Marzipan: I didn't know the Concession Stand carried Antifungal cream.
Bubs: It doesn't!
Marzipan: Then why did you call me?
Bubs: I got that toothpaste you ordered!
Marzipan:...Bubs, I think you need to relax, you seem stressed.
Bubs: Aren't you going to pick up that Tick Cream?
Marzipan:Um, no. Ok, bye! I'm off to the Chinchila Protest.
[She hangs up, Bubs following her.]
Coach Z:(typing) So, there you have it, Lolly, that's why I have white skin; I got a fair skin tone. A very fair skin tone.
[The Paper comes down]

a few seconds afterwards:
Coach Z: Now where's Bubs with my torthpaste?

Approved or Not?
Not. Why do people not understand how to format actions?

Da Bee's try out for Coach Z.

Coach Z: Checking my email, havin' lost me jorb.

Coach Z(reading): Dear Coach Zee
Why is yor arccent so wierd. I mean I corn't understand
it. Please tell us all about yor arccent.

Daniel Chalkmon

Coach Z(typing): Well Daniel, the story of me arccent is a long and wierd one. It all storted on the day I came tor Free Corntry USA. Then they had no Coach but since I was there, I thought I'd try out. I had to horve a certain arccent though so I went to-
Bubs: Hey, that's not how it went down!
Coach Z: Oh, Bubs get out of hore. No one wants yor opinorn.
Bubs: Of course they do. I seem to remember a young fuzzy haired Coach Z wanting a cool accent to impress his girlfriend, so he tried to copy Tom Hank's accent but it went horribly wrong and he ended up los-
Coach Z: Yes, yes, I'm sure your tale is infinately fascinating, but I have emails to finish. (shoves Bubs out of the room)
Coach Z(typing): So there you go Dan, I got my wierd arccent through corpying it and then, wait, OH CRORP. Oh well I guerss the berst thing now is tor delort it. DELORTED.
(Nothing happens and the paper comes down)

(a few seconds later)
Bubs: Help, I got shoved in the trash can.
Bubs: It stinks in here and someone left some peanuts in here.

Approved or not?
==== APPROVED! ====
You are hired!
The Conductor's Tryout for The Poopsmith.

Dear The Poopsmith, why did you take a vow of silence. How
come you like and can tolerate poop? I'm one of your fans.
Please Answer, Dan, Poopville, CA

THE POOPSMITH(typing): How can I tolerate poop?
That's a question everyone has been asking me, Dan. My
father was a Poopsmith, his father, his father, and even
his father, the one who started it. I don't know why he
chose that, but-
(Tandy 400 blanks out, just like it did to Strong Bad, when he owned it.)
(Small steps are heard, walking to the computer room in the castle.)
THE KING OF TOWN: Doo Doo Hoo Doo Hoo!
(The Poopsmith runs off outside by his pile of poop and shovels, while The King enters the computer room.)
THE KING OF TOWN: Noo! My Tandy! What happened? I had it fixed!
THE KING OF TOWN(Typing): Umm, how do you make this thing
go? I want to check all my emails. Any body? The Poopsmith? That little
chef guy? I need some help here! That's the last time I buy a used
computer from Bubs.

{THE PAPER comes down, saying, "No one really wants to email The King of Town. For real."}

Things About This Email
*The reason The Poopsmith doesn't answer the first question is because it's labled with a period.
*If you remember, the lower part really happens when the King tries to answer his email.
*The reason I'm trying out for The Poopsmith is because the person who does it hasn't answered it in 5 days.
*Sorry this is short, I wasn't really sure of what to do.

Approved or Not?
Approved, but PLEASE learn how to properly do actions.
(PrincessOfStrongBadia is gone, so I thought I might take a crack at a Strong Mad e-mail -Shopiom)
(reading e-mail)
Dear Strong Mad,
I have some pudding in the CDs! The pen is crying mommy! Lids are up in the cup!
-Gee gaaaaaa
Strong Bad: Yeah?
Strong Bad: You mean translate.
Strong Mad: WHATEVER!
Strong Bad: (looks at it) Uh...it says that you should, um, del-I mean save the e-mail!
Strong Mad: REALLY?
Strong Bad: Uh, yeah, sure, whatever!
Strong Mad: OK! (Screen flashes SAVED)
Strong Bad: (walks away giggling)
(The paper comes down)