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Mon, 02 Aug 2004 19:01:59 . . . . pcp03932730pcs.sthind01.mo.comcast.net

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General note: In the true style of the old Sierra games, if you find things too slow, you can bump up the speed by pushing + a few times, and slow it back down by pushing -.

1. The first thing you'll want to do (even though it's not worth any points) is get the map. This is back at your cottage, which can be reached by going W, S, W, W. Walk into your burninated cottage and type 'get map'. You can then access it at any time simply by typing 'map'.

2. Go E and walk to the shore. Type 'get pebbles' to pick up the small rocks.

3. Go S (be careful of the Kerrek!) and S to get to the well. Walk up to it and 'put pebbles in bucket' in order to make the bucket descend from the weight. 'turn crank' to get the bucket back up, which should get you the mask.

4. Go S again, walk in front of the counter, and type 'talk man' to learn of the archery teacher's plight.

5. Go W, N, W to get to the horse. Stand in front of him and 'wear mask'. You can now go through the fence to the west.

6. Here you'll find the archer's brother. Say 'haldo' in order to get him to leave and go back to the archery teaching counter. Walk up to the tree and type 'get arrow'.

7. Go E, N, E, E, E to get to the house surrounded by berries. Walk up to each of the berry bushes and type 'get berries'. At the fourth tree, you should get the super trinket. While you're there, you may as well learn about the loot and get the grain. Type 'open door' to go into the hut, walk over to the shelves, and type 'get feed'. 'talk lady' will inform you as to the woman's problems.

7. Go back to the archer counter by going W, N, N. This is the trickiest part of the game, probably. Walk up to the archery counter and 'talk'. Then 'give trinket' to be able to play the archery game. Type 'play' in order to shoot. This can be hard: you have to aim your bow according to the wind direction indicated by the flag on the right. The best advice I can give you is to aim your bow to the far right or left of the target in strong winds (flag moving due left or right), about a third away from the bullseye during mild winds (flag diagonal), and directly at the bullseye when the air is still (flag down). To shoot, press space, and then press space again when the indicator reaches the red line. When the second indicator reaches the red line, press space a third time and you should hopefully get a bullseye :D.

8. After you win, you'll be given the SuperTime? FunBow? TM. You can now kill Kerrek. Go S, S to get to him (if he's not there, walk on / off the screen a few times) and type 'shoot kerrek'. It will now start raining. Walk up to his body and type 'get belt'. You now smell like a peasant!

9. Now you need to get the loot back for the peasant woman. To do so, walk N, N, W to the mud puddle (which is now wet since it rained) and walk into the puddle to get covered with mud. Go W to get to the haystack, which you'll need to hide in to avoid getting killed by the Jhonka. Type 'hide' to jump into the pile of hay. Waddle S in your new costume and walk up to the pile of loot and type 'get riches'. Your costume will blow away and the Jhonka will be very unhappy and ask you if you took his riches. Simply type 'no' and you're in the clear.

10. Return to collect your prize by going S, E, E, E to the hut. 'open door' gets you inside again, and then 'give riches' will get you the baby.

11. Use the baby to get three items. Go N and 'talk man' to find out about the fishing. 'throw feed' into the lake, then go E and 'open door' to go into the inn. 'give baby' to innkeeper to get the pills. Leave the inn and go W, W to the west side of the lake. Stand at the centre near the left (the game is finicky about this) and 'throw baby' to get the soda. Then go N, N to the well and 'put baby in bucket' and 'turn crank' to get the meatball sub.

11. N, W, W brings you to the mysterious hut without a doorknob, which belongs to Naked Ned by the wavy tree. Walk to the right of the hut and type 'move rock'. The hole's a little too small for you to fit through, but someone else shouldn't have any problems. Type 'use baby' to get the door open. Walk into the now opened hut and go over to the dresser. 'open drawer' reveals a peasant robe. Take it with 'get robe', put it on with 'wear robe', and then just because you're so neat and tidy, close the dresser with 'close drawer' to get a few extra points. Now you look AND smell like a peasant. Time to light yourself on fire!

13. Go E, E, E, E, N to return to the inn and type 'open door' to get inside. 'talk man' to learn how to spend the night, which he'll only let you do if you have Naked Ned's robe. Type 'get a room'. You'll wake up 20 mins later, at which point you should walk over to the pantry and 'look pantry' to learn that the innkeeper seems to like a little something called "Old Man Rub" *ick*. You'll need the pot on the top shelf. Type 'get pot' in order to reach up and grab it. With your nouveau headwear, you have to navigate your way out of the inn, which can be a little annoying. Just keep trying arrow keys until you're moving towards the door.

14. Go S and walk near the lantern. Congratulations: you're now on fire and a true, honest to goodness peasant!

15. You can now go up to Trogdor's lair. Walk N, N to get to the guard and type 'talk man' to get him to move. Walk E to get to the cliff, save your game, go up to the cliff, and type 'climb' to get into an incredibly annoying Sierra-esque boulder and bird dodge-fest. As far as I can tell, the ledges and branches on the cliff do nothing, so don't bother with them. You'll have to go up three screens in total to get to the top.

16. You are now in Trogdor's lair. Save your game again. Walk into the cave and start heading E until you're accosted by the first keeper. You'll have to answer three random questions about the game in order to make it to Trogdor or 'give sub', 'give soda', and 'give pills' (either option gives you the same number of points). The answers to the questions are "Haldo", "SuperTime? FunBow? TM", "Old Man Rub", "Orange", "5", "Naked Ned", "C", "Northeast to Southwest", and "The Kerrek". There may be more questions, but those were the only ones I got asked.

17. Go E to meet your doom. Don't walk too close to Trogdor. All you have to do is type 'use sword' to attack the beast. Now you've pissed him off and must deal with his majesty. Type 'talk trogdor' and suffer eternal burnination.

Final score: 150 / 150.

Note: after you shoot Kerrek, you can go to the tree and get another arrow for 2 points.

Final score: 152 / 150.